Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season - Sports - Nairaland
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| Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:03pm On May 19, 2017 |
THE INVINCIBLES After spending over £200million in the summer on the likes of Antoine Griezmann, James Rodriguez and Kylian Mbappe, Man United spend the entire season in sixth place without ever losing a game. During one particularly dull draw at home to Watford, David De Gea is caught weeping as he watches highlights of Real Madrid on his phone. At the end of the season, Jose Mourinho will say he did the best he could with a ‘bad bunch’. |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:05pm On May 19, 2017 |
THE KEY GOES MISSING! N’Golo Kante’s shock retirement midway through the season to pursue a career in double-marathon running unhinges Chelsea’s title retention. New signing Romelu Lukaku can’t find the net for love nor money. Shanghai Shenhua’s Diego Costa spends the vast majority of his £800,000-a-week wages on anger management classes and sending giant posters of himself back to Stamford Bridge. |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:07pm On May 19, 2017 |
3. CLASSIC 0-11-0 FORMATION Pep Guardiola starts the season by slowly phasing out defenders once and for all. By September their entire back four is made up of playmakers and wingers. By February all City’s outfield players will be genuine No10s. And by March David Silva will start in goal; he’s got useless hands but his distribution is beautiful. |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:17pm On May 19, 2017 |
LIVERHAMPTON Jurgen Klopp signs Nathan Redmond, Manolo Gabbiadini, Ryan Bertrand and Oriol Romeu in the summer. It’s cheaper when you buy in bulk. 95% of football fans literally can’t tell the difference between Liverpool and Southampton. When the two teams play each other it looks like a giant inter-club friendly. Several confused Saints fans start turning up at Anfield every other week. One confused fan in Ibadan actually thought he has won #5m! after watching liverpool beat burney, thinking it is the southampton vs westham game, the last game on his accumulator betslip! sorry dear they are liverhampton |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:20pm On May 19, 2017 |
TEN MORE YEARS Arsene Wenger signs a record-breaking ten-year contract extension with Arsenal, sparking what will later be described as the the riot that eventually ended the world as we know it. Wenger celebrates the occasion by signing Ligue 2’s third top scorer to replace the departing Alexis Sanchez. Around midway through the season, the Emirates is completely submerged in ‘Wenger Out’ banners and the Gunners are forced to ground share with Spurs at Wembley. The cast of Arsenal Fan TV briefly take Granit Xhaka hostage after he’s fifth red card of the season but the police successfully negotiate with Robbie for the Swiss midfielder’s safe release. |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:23pm On May 19, 2017 |
6 . ONE MAN TEAM Gylfi Sigurdsson scores every single one of Swansea’s goals from the opening day until Christmas. The Icelandic playmaker is named as the club’s new captain and he continues to take all corners, free-kicks and penalties….as well as goal-kicks, centres and drop balls. He also does all the interviews and press conferences and acts as the club’s physio, mascot, nutritionist, coach driver and chairman. |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:26pm On May 19, 2017 |
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| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:27pm On May 19, 2017 |
7. NOT AGAIN ..... Spurs are by far and away the best team in the league. Harry Kane racks up 30 goals, Dele Alli continues his rise to superstardom, Toby Alderweireld and Jan Vertonghen reach Italian-esque levels of defensive superiority, and Mousa Dembele goes the whole season without ever giving the ball away. With three games to play they are nine points ahead; the club even plan the celebratory open-top bus parade. Then disaster strikes. Three consecutive 4-0 losses means they finish second, trophyless. Again. |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 5:35pm On May 19, 2017 |
8. THE CHAMPIONS After Sean Dyche’s voice becomes too gruff for his players to understand a single word, Claudio Ranieri is appointed Burnley manager. The pizza-loving coach leads another fairytale campaign and, thanks to Spurs’ choke, secures a remarkable title win with a 3-0 win over Leicester (who else?) at fortress Turf Moor. Lagos’s bravest gamblers collect their 5000/1 winnings and all is well with the world. All inevitable, right? |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by EbukaHades10(m): 5:41pm On May 19, 2017 |
horluwashegun:Though an LFC fan,i'll let this slide. Funny tho |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by bjyemson: 7:16pm On May 19, 2017 |
 ......hahahahhhaaaaalaff wan make me carry worship session give Terry G Dear OP, u need help o |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 7:43pm On May 19, 2017 |
bjyemson: |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by excanny: 7:45pm On May 19, 2017 |
Which of them did you smoke today? Osogbo or Kwale? |
| Re: Eight Things That Are Bound To Happen In The Epl Next Season by horluwashegun(m): 7:46pm On May 19, 2017 |
horluwashegun: |
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