You heard he is a cultist, you could not believe it; you said “He is so young”. Now, you have seen him, marijuana parting his lips, a tattooed snake on his arm and in his hand is a bottle of beer. You stood afar and criticized him, you told your friends that hell awaits him; you shook your head and said to yourself, “He is already doomed”. But you do not know that within the bad, hard guy lies a fragile, aching heart wanting to be loved and showed a little care. Now, he only finds solace in his gang because his dad and mom are on the brink of divorce.
She knocked on your door asking to help you do anything for food or money. She looked so unkempt and malnourished. You were torn between pity and disbelief. You know her uncle to be a rich and religious man, an elder in his church/mosque, and you can’t help but wonder why she would be in this sorry state. You concluded that she has been wayward and disrespectful and this is his way of punishing her. Without asking her any questions, you managed to give her a rumpled ₦100 note, sent her away and told her not to come back. She leaves, fighting tears, wondering how she would go back to her uncle who had sworn not to take care of her except she warms his bed.
A ragged looking man mistakenly stepped on you and before he could apologize, you rained insult on him, his family and his generation. You saw the tears well up in his eyes but you did not bother to show any empathy. That man has been going through a hard time. He is a job-hunting father who just lost his only son and has been pondering on how to bury his dead. To you, he is just a depressed fellow who should not bother others with his woes.
You saw her in a bar reeking of alcohol, she kept laughing and muttering to himself “Why me, Why me?” You walked past her, even though a voice inside of you kept telling you to find out her problem. You shut the voice down and tagged her “A cheap drunk”. But that cheap drunk is a widow who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer; moreover, she just lost her job a month ago. Now, she thinks those bottles of alcohol could wash away her sorrows.
And you claim to have the light, you boast in the scriptures because you know only the letters but you are devoid of revelation. You failed to bring the “bad, hard guy” close and show him the truth and now he has fulfilled the request of his gang by raping his younger sister leaving his whole family distraught and confused.
Also, your ₦100 could not help that young girl for she finally yielded to the advances of her “rich and religious” uncle. Now, she has been deflowered, all hormones have been let loose. She has been selling her wares to all and sundry and she got pregnant. At present, her cold body is lying in a mortuary because of trying to commit an abortion just because you refused to bring her close and show her the ideals of life and yet you claim you have the light.
The depressed man you insulted was seen hanging from a mango tree recently. His suicide note read “I am too weak to carry on”. You could not show him any form sympathy; perhaps, he might have shared his burden with you. Then you would have let him know that in his weakness, God’s strength is manifested. And you claim you have the light.
That “cheap drunk” is now on the hospital bed staring into space in despair, waiting for death to wrap on the door. All she needs is a message of hope, a message that would give her life not destructive criticism.
When you throw negative energy at another human being, you are hurting him or her, whether you realize it or not. You have the ability to interfere with another’s self-esteem and self-worth which changes who they are and how they perceive the world around them. At the same time, you are throwing negative energy out into the universe for yourself. .
A judgmental person is insecure, scared, intimidated or lonely because judging others end up hurting an individual involved in the act. Also, when you judge other people, it makes us feel worse about ourselves afterwards. You might get a tiny rush from the judgments, but, ultimately, you feel guilty. You think you’re a bad person for casting such harsh judgments on others. You bring yourself down when you bring others down.
If you’re judging others, you’re probably judging yourself pretty harshly as well. For instance when you judge ones clothing, food or behaviour, you are extremely careful what you eat as well as your behaviour so you won’t fall a victim.
You can stop judging people by monitoring your thoughts and pushing them in a positive direction. There is almost always something positive you can find in someone or something. Avoid stereotyping and focus on your own life. When all else fails and judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don’t worry about what other people are doing, wearing, eating, etc.
Also, remember how it feels to be judged. AND remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn’t feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now.
Anger begets anger. Violence begets violence, and that is why there is so much pain in the world. However, we should never be accepting of behaviour that blatantly harms another human being either. So for those who profess to stand strongly against the atrocities of humanity, put your passion to work by doing all that you can to come from a place of love and be of service to those in need of help — not from a place of anger toward their situation and hate for their oppressors. If you engage in the latter, all you are doing is simply adding strength and momentum to the energies you claim to be fighting against, which only perpetuates the endless cycle. We can’t solve the world’s issues with the same mind-set that created them. It is our pure and loving intentions, devoid of ego, that will support the highest good of all mankind.
We know that we’re all different, have our own opinions and everyone is never going to agree on everything. Hence, the bottom line is as it always has been; if you can’t say something nice, well, you know the rest because inside every person you know, there is a person you don’t know.
Gloria Edet.
www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/hey-pause-with-the-judgment

You can as well read different Articles on mbnaija.com . Among others are:

� *5 NIGERIAN WEDDING CUSTOMS THAT SCARE YOUTHS*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/5-nigerian-wedding-customs-that-scare-youths/

� *RWANDA GENOCIDE: A WHISTLE FOR THE ROAMING DOG*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/06/30/rwanda-genocide-a-whistle-for-the-roaming-dog/

� *A WONDER JOURNEY TO HELL*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/a-wonder-journey-to-hell/

� *ARE THE GODS DEAD*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/are-the-gods-dead/

�� *DEAR NIGERIAN YOUTHS, IT IS TIME TO RESIST THE SYSTEM*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/dear-nigerian-youth-it-is-time-to-resist-the-system/

�‍�‍� *LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/letter-to-my-unborn-child/

� *PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI EID EL FITRI MESSAGE; REALITY OR HOAX*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/president-muhammadu-buhari-eid-el-fitri-message-reality-or-hoax/

� *TIME TO SAVE US FROM THE MEN IN KHAKI*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/time-to-save-us-from-the-men-in-khaki/

� *I PRAY YOUR LIFE IS ROUGH……….*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/i-pray-your-life-is-rough/

� *SEX: BEWARE OF WHERE YOU DO IT*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/sex-beware-of-where-you-do-it/

� *EBOLA: ARE THE WEST AT IT AGAIN?*http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/ebola-are-the-west-at-it-again/

� *RELIGION IS THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE, WHO STANDS…*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/religion-is-the-opium-of-the-people-who-stands-to-gain/


� *WORLD MOST EXPENSIVE XI EVER FEATURES BUFFON, BALE, RONALDO*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/world-most-expensive-xi-ever-features-buffon-bale-ronaldo/

� *HOW BOKO HARAM TRANSFORMED FROM BEING AN ISLAMIC SOCIAL…*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/05/13/how-boko-haram-transformed-from-being-an-islamic-social-group-to-a-terrorist-group-the-politicians-touch/
� * GENERATIONAL JINX ? REASONS AFRICAN BUSINESSES DO NOT SURVIVE BEYOND…*:http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/generational-jinx-reasons-african-businesses-do-not-survive-beyond-the-first-generation/
� *RELIGION IS THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE, WHO STANDS TO GAIN?
http://www.mbnaija.com/2017/07/01/religion-is-the-opium-of-the-people-who-stands-to-gain/