If you truly know you are strong, just go to a funeral service and shout......... "na me kill am!!"

The Lord is your strength �

How many of us can relate

Gbege!.... is when u see your old school️mate at ikorodu and he hails u with*BADOO....*Bro just disappear cos running won't epp.

If yor name is Ngozi and you are 27 yrs old ...you applied for a job at NNPC i just want to inform you that your village winches are really working hard .Am eating Akara with your spplication letter now in my sitting room.

BREAKING NEWS
In a mental hospital yesterday in Yobe state, a patient with a knife in his hand was chasing after the senior doctor.. Eye witnesses confirmed that the doctor was running frantically for his dear life until he got to a dead end and the mad man handed over the knife to him saying "oga, oya now, na ya turn to pursue me".
��������

Trouble* is when the pastor says "Those who want their businesses to grow should come up front."

Then the owner of the local mortuary stands up!�

How girls ask for sex
.
.
White girls..kisses you deeply and Whispers in your ear baby let's do it
.
.
Nigeria girls...baby I will soon be leaving oo

Lol nice one

SOME CHURCH GIRLS SHA :/ :/
Him: bae whats up?
her: pls my name is Grace not bae.
him: ok Grace how ar u?
her: the lord is my strength.
him: ok! what ar u doing now?
her: i'm cooking
him: well should i come and help u?
her: i can do all things through him that strengthens me.
him: hmm ok oo. at least i'll come aftr u've finished cooking so that u'll serve me.
her: pls i only serve the living God not human beings.
him: ok sis Grace what ar u wearing now?
her: i'm wearing the full armor of Christ
him: honestly looking forward to touch ur hands these days.
her: touch not my annointed says the lord
him: alright i give up!
her: God will never give up on u so never give up too.
him: so what can i get for u on ur birthday?
her: the lord is my shepherd i shall not want..

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

How do you suggest we settle this matter A woman was breast feeding her baby and a lady passing by said he sucks just like his father... We still dey separate fight since yesterday evening.

dat was hw a girl took me to her house nd we start making out, she then asked me to tie her to d bed to do wht i knw hw to do best, omo i tied d girl to d bed, took her fone nd laptop and left, i wicked?

Sister nkechi,baby Tessy,sexy brussel...,pwetty nyash etc....please answer this question am about to ask....
With all ur borrowed nyash,borrowed hips,with ur complete hands and extra artificial finger... How many men have u been able to grab for keep?
Just imagine ,this one handed girl is a able to grab and keep a man for her self,what are u doing?
Are u not tired of grabbing different dicks,are u not tired of grabbing sharwama and shisha?
Change o
Change o
Change

A married Man died
before SEX.
His Wife cut his Penis,
filled it with cement &
fixed it in d wall.
Every night she used to
go to d wall & get
satisfied herself. One
day her neighbour saw
this..!
He made a hole in the
wall removed the husband's penis & put his own penis in place of that.. & waited his turn for
sex.
The lady came with a
knife...cut his penis &
said..."Darlingtoday we
are shifting to our new
house..!"
Moral,,,, don't put your dick everywhere

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: "can kids of our age have kids?" Teacher replied " NO Never!!" Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry.... let's go and continue...!

*.... At the bank, Michi tries to deposit a fake note.....*

*Bank Teller ;This money is fake !
*Michi; the money is mine the account is mine What is your problem? Just put it there!!

..Assuming the government says, everybody should register their boyfriend/girlfriend,or wife/ husband before feb 14 2018 and you try to register yours and the machine tells you,
"sorry the person you are registering has already been registered!!!,"What wil you do?!??

..Wait, am I the only one who has been wearing the same boxer for the past 3 months??

..Instead of u to pressure him to meet ur Parents, u are pressuring Him to use ur pix as WhatsApp DP. Sister receive sense in Jesus name.

..Short Guy Telling A Tall Girl That Her Hair Smells Good. So My Brother, Which Kind Of Hair Are You Referring To?

My neighbour came back drunk, He has been knocking at his door for over 2hours Now .. And he stays alone....
Should I go and tell him that he is not around

..Short fat girls holding their waist with one hand be looking like tea cup.

Sometimes you just have to post on someone's girlfriend's wall and say,"Babe last night was epic" just to cause trouble between those two happy lovers. They can't always be happy while you are lonely out there...

*WIFE: Sweety, how many women have you slept with after we got married?*
*HUSBAND: (quiet)*
*WIFE: (10 minutes later) Sweety, I asked you a question* *!*
*HUSBAND: (Quiet)*
*WIFE: (15 minutes later)Are you afraid to tell me the truth?*
*HUSBAND: Will you just shut up and let me finish counting!!!*

You've been wearing the same pant since 29th August 2016, instead of u pressuring ur bf to get u a new one you are rada demanding for iPhone..

.
Are you aware your pant is celebrating its 1st Anniversary today? Check ur date er