Relationships; at some point in our lives we’ve all imagined or fantasised about being in a relationship but do we actually understand what role fantasy should play in a relationship as opposed to when it’s getting unhealthy or even out of control?
Sometimes fantasy can develop into a block to our ability to relate or an obsession that dominates our lives. Let’s break it down for you!
All relationships begin with fantasy, fantasies of who the other is, what they will be in our lives and fantasies about ourselves, who we are and what we will mean to the other in this relationship.
Most of us understand that most good relationships involve sharing - sharing of the labour, the kids, the worry and bad times and the good times too, but we often do not share with partners our fantasies of who they are or of how the relationship is going to turn out.
Relationships can get complicated, be it at the beginning, middle or end. These complications are often caused by either partner having a different expectation or fantasy about what the other person should be like, how they should treat them or what the relationship should be like, as well as its future.
What can cause people to live in a fantasy relationship?
Not only do all relationships start off with some fantasy, they can also tend to be pretty intense. Heck, for some people the fantasy starts during the “crush’ stage where boy likes girl or girl likes boy or two boys or two girls like each other but haven’t yet declared their feelings.
The idea of this person being “the one” or the excitement of having someone like us can send us into a cloud of fantasy because well, we feel happy and excited for the future. Especially if other aspects of our lives like our studies, work etc are pretty boring at the time, it’s really appealing to drift off and imagine what we’d rather be doing.
And it can be a nice and healthy feeling. It’s better to know that someone is excited at the thought of holding hands with you than knowing that person is nonchalant or unfazed about being your boo, right?
But once that buzz has worn off, reality starts to kick in. The fantasy we started off with about the other person now needs to be replaced with some real sense of who they are.
Source:http://nigerianshood..com