Reporter: How are you feeling Mr. President?
Yar’Adua: I feel like I am still in Saudi Arabia though I am not sure where I am. Ask Turai, she will tell you how I am feeling.

Reporter: Why did you give interview to BBC instead of NTA?
Yar’Adua: My people cannot watch or listen to NTA due to NEPA. But with BBC, everyone will turn on their generators to watch and listen, Who will burn their diesel to watch NTA? Even Goodluck will not do that.

Reporter: What about your 7 point agenda?
Yar’Adua: Forget about that! That was dead on arrival. It was even OBJ’s idea. I have streamlined that into only 1 agenda – ‘Hanging on to dear life’. This will work for every Nigerian. Very simple concept that I learned here in Saudi or Yemen!

Reporter: What are you going to do about Jos crisis?
Yar’Adua: Jos? Is that still part of Nigeria? Wallahi, I didn’t remember.

Reporter: When are you coming back to Nigeria?
Yar’Adua: Never! I am not coming back but don’t tell Turai or Andoakaa. Turai might order these housemaids to switch off my life support. Andoakaa might convince Nigerians that I can rule from heaven(?) and I am just tired of the whole thing.

Reporter: What message do you have for your daughters?
Yar’Adua: Marry only governors. Forget the Muttallab’s!

Reporter: What message do you have for Nigerians?
Yar’Adua: Hold on tight! You think the ride has been rough, it is going to get worse from here. I am glad that I am not going to be part of it. I am enjoying my stay here. My brother, please change that channel for me. I need to watch the next soccer game. Angolans are my favorite team. I just love them.

Reporter: Thank you Mr. President.
Yar’Adua: Oh me? I am still the President? Thank you! You better leave before Turai gets back here!

u neva see something . . . . .

Cul