Hello , a friend complained to me that he saw a chat between his wife and her church member, although everything in the chat were routine talk, but three things struck his mind :

1 The guy was addressing his wife as babes, and madam inter changeably
2 Some of the chats were as late as 11 pm
3The guy in one of the chats asked the lady if the lady missed him. And the lady's reply was : are you serious,? I am with my husband, and the guy replied that he was serious. the lady did not say anything, the normal gist continued till the guy asked the lady again if she misses him, but this time the lady ignored the question and continued with their normal gist.

He said when he confronted his wife, the woman was angry, but later apologized after 3days for her anger, and the chat, but the my friend insisted he will investigate further, and the woman said she is not bothered.

Although I told my friend its just nothing serious, that he might have acted to harsh, but I am beginning to think I have just advised him wrongly.what do you all think, especially the ladies, yes I mean the ladies . Do you think the lady is cheating, should I re- advise my friend to take the matter serious.?

Uhmmmm
A married woman is supposed to set boundaries for herself
D way you position yourself attimes gives chances and space for naughty chats.
If u won't like something don't start/do it.

hmmm

The problem with suspicion in marriage is that it can eat you up from the inside, at times when there's nothing to bother about.

To suspect his wife of cheating would be most foolish,

And I would recommend he doesn't go through her phone again to avoid issues of mistrust.

I would also recommend you leave them alone to sort their mess; your advice may do more damage than harm.

But if you must advise him tell him not to suspect his wife until she starts keeping late nights or exhibits otherwise funny behavior.

You could just save some kids the stress of coming from a broken home, destroyed by too much monitoring spirit.

Apparently she might not be cheating, what I find annoying is the way she is losing guard towards that so called friend to the extent that he would be asking her if she misses him. The guy is just being a perv and should try and get a girlfriend that would miss him, not a married woman.

Also, I think he is mistaking the woman's posture (being at ease) around him to mean she has interest. She should minimize the way she chats with him especially that night chat because it seems it's beginning to give him ideas.

That friend obviously wants to extend the frienship .

Nothing wrong with the address, something wrong with the timing. E better make everybody face front biko.

It depends on how close, but it is wrong

tuscani:
Hello , a friend complained to me that he saw a chat between his wife and her church member, although everything in the chat were routine talk, but three things struck his mind :

1 The guy was addressing his wife as babes, and madam inter changeably
2 Some of the chats were as late as 11 pm
3The guy in one of the chats asked the lady if the lady missed him. And the lady's reply was : are you serious,? I am with my husband, and the guy replied that he was serious. the lady did not say anything, the normal gist continued till the guy asked the lady again if she misses him, but this time the lady ignored the question and continued with their normal gist.

He said when he confronted his wife, the woman was angry, but later apologized after 3days for her anger, and the chat, but the my friend insisted he will investigate further, and the woman said she is not bothered.

Although I told my friend its just nothing serious, that he might have acted to harsh, but I am beginning to think I have just advised him wrongly.what do you all think, especially the ladies, yes I mean the ladies . Do you think the lady is cheating, should I re- advise my friend to take the matter serious.?

His wife might be innocent, hence her anger when hubby confronted him. But she owes him clear explanations as to what lead to a male asking her, "do you miss me" more than once in a chat in an ungodly hour for a married woman.

Aside that, it might be an expensive joke from the guy which needs to be checked and cautioned.

I have about 3 female colleagues I do play with in the office since I often want them to assist with some task. Most times I will walk up to a particular one and say, do you miss me? Mind you, I do not even have her mobile number, not to talk of ever chatting with her on phone. There is another I call my office wife, mind you, I equally do not have her digits to even warrant a discussion outside the office settings.

In a clear tone, no man goes asking another man's wife if she misses him, without having ulterior motives. Especially repeating it more than once in chat. He is simply trying to gradually make her loose her guard, so he can strike.

Tell your guy to warn the man in a plain language, and caution his wife to be weary of his antics.

richyblink1:


Oga, you may need to read the post again, nobody said it was a group chat, it was a personal chat between two of them

Whether na group chat or personal chat...so because she is married she can't have her life again ? It's only men that have insecurity issues that will be tail tagging their wives up and down. It's women I know that will complain of stuffs like these, not a man. Tell the guy to go find person wey him sef go dey follow chat. These are petty talks, if you can't trust your spouse's fidelity then you married the wrong person. - except there has been a clear previous reason not to.

Goldenboy007:


Whether na group chat or personal chat...so because she is married she can't have her life again ? It's only men that have insecurity issues that will be tail tagging their wives up and down. It's women I know that will complain of stuffs like these, not a man. Tell the guy to go find person wey him sef go dey follow chat. These are petty talks, if you can't trust your spouse's fidelity then you married the wrong person. - except there has been a clear previous reason not to.

From your post it's obvious you are either single, or fail to understand what "do you miss me" means as used in this situation, especially the man repeating it and begging for a response.

All the same, good night

Itstee:
Uhmmmm
A married woman is supposed to set boundaries for herself
D way you position yourself attimes gives chances and space for naughty chats.
If u won't like something don't start/do it.

Wait,you mean someone cannot play with a married woman again. So if call a married woman names like Boo Boo, Honey, Sugar etc

Have I committed any crime?

truthsayer009:


Wait,you mean someone cannot play with a married woman again. So if call a married woman names like Boo Boo, Honey, Sugar etc

Have I committed any crime?

So playing with a married woman involves chatting her up at odd hours (11pm) and asking her repeatedly if she missed you?

What's exactly the problem
The person calling your wife babe and madam interchangeably?
The time the message was sent
Or the fact that he said he misses her?
Which one?

By the way why do you men make marriage look like serving prison time? What the fok is the big deal if he called her babes or he misses her?so what?

So she cannot have Male friends again because she has bagged the Mrs title?

I miss you is it the same as I love you or I want to fok you?anybody can say I miss you without no motives or anything of such.I miss you is I miss you.nawa for you o op


Friend indeed

dangotesmummy:
What's exactly the problem
The person calling your wife babe and madam interchangeably?
The time the message was sent
Or the fact that he said he misses her?
Which one?

By the way why do you men make marriage look like serving prison time? What the fok is the big deal if he called her babes or he misses her?so what?

So she cannot have Male friends again because she has bagged the Mrs title?

I miss you is it the same as I love you or I want to fok you?anybody can say I miss you without no motives or anything of such.I miss you is I miss you.nawa for you o op


Friend indeed

You get power sha.

richyblink1:


So playing with a married woman involves chatting her up at odd hours (11pm) and asking her repeatedly if she missed you?

The question is why do I have her number in the first place? That one is a no no.
But then Women like to be called pet names. Married or not. It makes them happy

EfemenaXY:


You get power sha.

Fkforyou:
Apparently she might not be cheating, what I find annoying is the way she is losing guard towards that so called friend to the extent that he would be asking her if she misses him. The guy is just being a perv and should try and get a girlfriend that would miss him, not a married woman.

Also, I think he is mistaking the woman's posture (being at ease) around him to mean she has interest. She should minimize the way she chats with him especially that night chat because it seems it's beginning to give him ideas.

You might be right.
I call my married female friends Babe, even when I receive or call them in my wife's presence. The only thing I would have done differently if I were the lady is to ask the guy to stop being silly by asking me if I missed him (even if we had a history) and the late chats too will definitely pass a wrong message.
But the heart of men/women is very deep sha, it is well.
OP, like someone suggested, let themselves out. You might give an advice that may be misconstrued once they have made up and are in za oza room. Ọrọ Ọkọ ati Iyawo o se da si.

i dont know about the wife oooo but the guy in the picture had something else on his mind and he definitely wants to knack that married woman the job is for the husband now if truly he loves his wife he should stop her from chatting with that perv and cut all means of communication between the two cause you know some women has fish brains like they say one thing might lead to another and before you know it the woman is in the guy"s bed room already... he needs to caution the wife seriously before it breaks their home... my humble opinion tho

Seanjay:
i dont know about the wife oooo but the guy in the picture had something else on his mind and he definitely wants to knack that married woman the job is for the husband now if truly he loves his wife he should stop her from chatting with that perv and cut all means of communication between the two cause you know some women has fish brains like they say one thing might lead to another and before you know it the woman is in the guy"s bed room already... he needs to caution the wife seriously before it breaks their home... my humble opinion tho

you are right, but I feel something must have happened between them, for the man to be asking to be asking the woman that kind of question, and for the man to be bold enough to ask her again even when she tried to stop him

tuscani:
you are right, but I feel something must have happened between them, for the man to be asking to be asking the woman that kind of question, and for the man to be bold enough to ask her again even when she tried to stop him

true talk they just have to iron things out and try to know why the other guy keep asking the woman if she misses him

Marriage
Would the woman be comfortable if it was the other way round?
My advise is men should be more caring and affectionate towards the wives. If you don't, they seek it elsewhere. Mind you there are lots of prey outside there. Innocent women without cheating intention would suddenly found themselves already involved in extramarital mess.

Most cases of married women that have stylishly been asking men out lack care and affections in their marriage.
I have settled a marriage case between a couple afrer the woman became friend with me for extramarital affair.. She wanted it badly but I made her understand the reasons she mustn't and later reconciled her with husband without me knowing him.

I tell you it is a dangerous path, if you are not strong willed, please don't follow.

Good talk

dangotesmummy:
What's exactly the problem
The person calling your wife babe and madam interchangeably?
The time the message was sent
Or the fact that he said he misses her?
Which one?

By the way why do you men make marriage look like serving prison time? What the fok is the big deal if he called her babes or he misses her?so what?

So she cannot have Male friends again because she has bagged the Mrs title?

I miss you is it the same as I love you or I want to fok you?anybody can say I miss you without no motives or anything of such.I miss you is I miss you.nawa for you o op


Friend indeed

what are you actually saying ?

tuscani:
what are you actually saying ?

exactly what I said

Please kindly explain further