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How We Really Think: - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumEntertainmentJokes EtcHow We Really Think: (741 Views)

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How We Really Think: by leftone(op): 8:35am On Feb 13, 2010
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note, these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn how to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sport. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not w ork!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials,

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1.Always and Never are NOT are not always or never, ever.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.




1 Pain will create expletives.




1 Wind must always be allowed freedom; besides it warms up the bed.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want answered, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really . The same rule should apply to us.




1. Yes, we do love all women drivers.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.
Re: How We Really Think: by studio43(m): 10:07am On Feb 13, 2010
Makes no Sense
Re: How We Really Think: by Rooneyboy(m): 11:38am On Feb 13, 2010
Absolutely fantastic ! I love it.
Re: How We Really Think: by Rooneyboy(m): 11:46am On Feb 13, 2010
studio43:
Makes no Sense
both ur sense of humour and understanding has been washed away by HERB. Its a pity , u now have a head filled up with sawdust.
Re: How We Really Think: by Ben13(mod): 12:01pm On Feb 13, 2010
^^That must be studio shocked grin
Re: How We Really Think: by dani1luv(mod): 12:12pm On Feb 13, 2010
must you laff at every statement. .if Funny or not funny tongue
Re: How We Really Think: by studio43(m): 12:24pm On Feb 13, 2010
No Comment lol
Re: How We Really Think: by dani1luv(mod): 12:37pm On Feb 13, 2010
^^Whatbout Side Comment undecided
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