Who says Men and women are the same?
Phone call 1:
Me: Hello Sir
Dad: Hello. How far? Bawo Ni?
Me: Mo wa okay. Bawo Ni day yin?
Dad: O lo daada. Ise nko?
Me: Ise wa daada. Mummy nko?
Dad: O wa. Just be fine. God bless you.
Me: Okay Sir.
Dad: A tun ma soro... Later.
Phone Call 2:
Me: Hello Ma.
Mum: Hello... Oko mi... Akanni omo ologun eru... (she keeps eulogising (I'm not Akanni, just a random name).
Mecuts in) Mummy, shey e wa daada? Bawo Ni gbogbo ile?
Mum: Mo wa. Ko pe ti mo de lati church. Mo ri ore e kan, e Jo ma n wo pata shere Ni kekere ni. Omo iya Kayode to wa Ni...
Me: (cuts in) Mummy, ko pe ti mo d'ele lati ibi ishe, mo Fe lo rest.
Mummy: Hha... Pele oko mi. Shey e tun travel Ni? Shey o ti jeun? Shey o lo ogun malaria yen? Neck pain yen nko? Shey ese to fi gba okuta Ni 2012 yen o ro e mo...
Me: Ko si wahala. O dabo ma.
Mummy: Duro. Voice e lo sile... Kilode? O n bami ja Ni?
Me: Rara ma. O ti remi Ni.
Mummy: Awwww. Oya lo we, ko de jeun. Wa de sun on time. L'oruko Jesu, wa goke
Me: Amin
Mummy: L'oruko Jesu, Inu rere wa ma tan imole fun e
Me: Amin
Mummy: L'oruko Jesu o Ni shi ejo gba. O Ni daran... Won o Ni Koba e. O Ni shishe... Ishe e ko Ni baje. Oluwasegun la so e, oruko e ma ro e...
Me: Amin, Amin, Amin, Amin (Like 10 Amin, thinking she would know I was getting bored already)
Mummy: L'oruko Jesu, o Ni shubu... Ona to shi, Olorun a je ko shi dale...
Me: Amin (Talking through my nose)
Heard Dad's voice in the background
Dad: Je ki omo yi lo sun now.
Mummy: Lo sun, oko mi. L'oruko Jesu awon Angeli ma daabo bo e l'oju orun. Ti o ba ji, won o Ni fi e sile.
Me: Hello... Hello mummy. Network yi o. Hello... MTN is crap (ends the call).
Returns from the bathroom and picks phone: 8 missed calls- mummy.
You can call Dad if all you have is 5 seconds. Mum? Wait till public holiday
May God bless parents in their diversities. For those whose parents are gone, may God rest their souls.