Encountering an ex while in a new relationship is common occurrence. Especially if you live in the same neighborhood, city, country. Also the emergence of the Internet, social media has made it almost impossible to avoid contact with people.

The question is how do you handle them if they show up and put pressure on you for another chance while in another serious relationship.

Some people advocate that you avoid them. This is partly true as avoiding them could help a great deal. But what if a situation arises where they cant be avoided what to you do? The truth is that we cannot always avoid them but we could learn to manage them or the situation it arise.

Also it's important to note that there is no specific way or special formula to effectively manage these real life situations.

Here are some tips that can help.
There different degrees of pressure from an ex, and these degrees demands different approaches.

1. First degree pressure (FGP).
This stage is quite easy and you can comfortably handle it. It characterised with infrequent calls and text messages, harmless pleasantries and for most people it's OK and the can handle it. So if you feel safe handling it, good for you.

2. Second degree pressure (SDP)
This is where caution is required and most often our response in the first stage often determines how fast or whether or not we would get to the second stage.
The ex becomes bolder, calls and messages becomes more frequent. This is where the red light in you begins to beep. But we often ignored it and if this is not properly handled things could get worse.

And I think it's time you involve a third party who can either be your spouse or someone you can be accountable to. Involving a third party often helps to keep us in check if by any means we get shaky alittle emontionally.

TELL YOUR SPOUSE
Please tell your spouse. It's dangerous if they find out accidentally even if your motives are pure or its just "harmless communication" Letting your spouse know is not a sign of weakness or incompetence rather its a sign of trust and love.

But what if my spouse misunderstands me? Many people have had this challenge, they tell their spouse and them get blamed for it. "Its your fault, you let her into your life again" True your actions maybe misunderstood or you let down your guards and it happened. But for opening up to you speaks in volume. And as for spouses whose reactions are not accommodative, you may want to consider being in their shoes for a moment so listen with your heart.

PRAY ABOUT IT
For those of you who believe in the power of pray, then pray about itpray about it. God cares and He is willing to help you if you ask for help. You ask for his help not only when you feel you can't handle the situation but also if though you feel you can too. Talk to the Lord about it he will help you.

Pls feel free to contribute.... Thanks