Pls forgive me if these jokes are old. I've just seen them:

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife ,"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip unclothed. When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."
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A dentist's patient was grumbling about the fee. "Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!," she exclaimed. "And it's only a minute's work." "Well, if you wish," the dentist said, "I'll pull it out slowly."

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Embarrassing Moments
"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror n.a.k.e.d!"