Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,194,196 members, 7,953,720 topics. Date: Friday, 20 September 2024 at 12:48 AM

You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples (1993 Views)

Elderly Man Riding A Ram Like A Horse / See Funny Conversations Between A PUSH Salesman And A Buyer. |PHOTOS| / When Pastor Says Let Ur Amen Sound Like Thunder (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples by Akebulan: 2:58am On Feb 21, 2010
To INSULT SOMEONE 100 TIMES, Start with Number One

- You started out with Nothing & Still have Most of it Left.
- If I Throw a Stick, will you Leave?
- Whatever kind of Look you were Going for, You Missed.
- Not all People like you are Annoying. Some are Dead.
- I'm trying to Imagine you with a Personality.
- When I think of you I think. Too many Freaks, not enough Circuses.
- Nice Perfume. Must you Marinate in it?
- You should go to a Mind Reader…They'll only Charge you Half Price
- I Remember you from Ten years ago…I never forget a Suit
- You're probably Outstanding in your Field…
and that's where you should be… Out Standing in a Field
- Have you ever Thought of Suing your Brains for Non Support
- You're the Type of Person my Parents told me Not to Play with…
- You must have been Raised by the Book, the Ugly American
- You remind me of a Flower, a Blooming Idiot
- Lets play Building and Loan…
Get out of the Building and leave me Alone
- There are Two Schools of thought that People have about you…
They either Dislike you or They Hate you
- You must be Sitting Backward because all I see is an “****”
- The more I know about you…
The more I Understand why some Animals eat their Young
- Something Terrible happened when you were Born…you Lived
- You'll never get Hemmorroids because you're a Perfect ****
- You remind me of Hemorrhoids or some other Pain in the Ass
- I need a Vacuum, is your Head Available
- I bet a lot of Great Ideas go through your Head,
because there's Nothing Stopping them
- You look like the Loser in an Axe Fight
- Its not the Ups and Downs in Life that bother me ,
It's the Jerks like You that do
- If Moses would have Known you…
There would have been Another Commandment
- You sound like a Manure Salesman with a Mouth full of Samples
- Lets do some Impressions Together…
I'll be a dog and you be a Tree
- Lets both do an impression of a Horse…
I'll be the Front End and You just be Yourself
- You have the Face of a Saint… A Saint Bernard
- Your Face reminds me of a Flower… A Cauliflower
- You must have been One of the Main Reasons for Birth Control
- You're the Result of What Happens when Cousins Marry
- Do you know if it weren't for Stupidity…
You’d have No Personality at all
- You should be in the Movies… You Look much better in the Dark
- I don't have to insult you, God already did it for me
- You look Good in Everything but a Mirror
- Most people deserve a Hand… You should just Settle for the Finger
- Is that your Face or did your Neck Throw Up,
- You work well when under Constant Supervision
or when Cornered like a Rat in a Trap.
- You would be out of your Depth in a Parking Lot Puddle.
- You should Go Far, and the Sooner you Start, the Better.
- You've got a full 6-pack,
but lack that Plastic Thing that holds it all together.
- You've been working with too much Glue.
- You're the Type who would Argue with a Sign Post.
- You bring a Lot of Joy, whenever you Leave the Room.
- When your IQ reaches 50, You should Sell.
- Your Gates are Down, the Lights are Flashing,
but the Train isn't Coming.
- If you were any more Stupid, you'd have to be Watered twice a Week.
- If someone gave you a Penny for your Thoughts, They'd get Change.
- It's hard to believe that you beat out 1,000,000 other Sperm.
- Some drink from the Fountain of Knowledge; you only Gargled.
- It probably takes you 2 hours to Watch 60 minutes.
- When I look at you I realize that the Wheel is Turning,
but the Hamster is Dead.
- The problem with your brain is that it is Too Tense,
It's "two tenths" the size of everyone else's
- I have trouble Remembering Names, Can I just call you "****"
- Do you have a Chip on your Shoulders, or is that your Head?
- Some people bring Happiness wherever they go,
You bring Happiness, "Whenever" you go,
- "If brains were Dynamite,
You wouldn't have enough to Blow your Nose"
- "Why don't you go Tie your Shoes,
That should Kill about Twenty Minutes"
- "The Lord sure Screwed up a Nice Ass,
When he put Teeth in your Face"
- "You have a very "Striking" Face,
How many times have you been Struck There."
- You look like a Million Dollars… "All Green and Wrinkled"
- You may not be Tall, Dark and Handsome,
But you are Tall, and Handsome in the Dark
- I know how you can Lose 10 pounds of Ugly Fat,
Cut off your Head
- "You are not so much of a Has-Been,
but more of a Definite Won't Be."
- "You should not be allowed to breed."
- "You should only Open your Mouth,
when it's time to Change Feet."
- You are depriving a Village, Somewhere, of an Idiot."
- I never Forget a Face,
but in your Case, I'll make an Exception
- You have Lips like Petals, Bicycle petals,
- If you see Two people Talking and one looks bored,
He's the Other one."
- Jesus Loves you, but Everyone else thinks you're an ****
- Your gene pool has had way too much Chlorine.
- Save Your Breath… You'll need it to Blow up your Date!
- You’re A few Clowns short of a Circus.
- You’re A few fries short of a Happy Meal
- You’re All foam, no beer.
- The cheese slid off your cracker.
- You apparently fell out of the Stupid Tree
and Hit every Branch on the Way Down.
- You’re As smart as bait.
- You’re Belt doesn't go through all the Loops.
- You’re Proof that Evolution CAN go in Reverse.
- You’re multitalented…
you can talk and annoy people at the same time.
- You’re one of those Bad things that happen to Good People.
- You remind me of the ocean,
not because you’re wild and reckless,
but because you make me sick.
- If you ever took an Aptitude Test…
You’d probably discover that you should be a Galley Slave
- You're he type of guy who if he studies real hard
and graduates college… will one day have his own paper route
- Does your Train of Thought have a Caboose?
- Did the Aliens forget to Remove your Anal Probe?
- I have a Picture of your Parents Wedding?…
You looked Cute Standing between them
- The Stork that brought you,
should have been Arrested for Carrying Dope
- I bet if you had a hemorrhoid operation…
they'd find a Brain Tumor
- Why don't you go Hang out somewhere else.
I'll even supply the Rope
- You should have been Nick Named “Treasure” ,
because you look like you've been Dug Up
- You look like a Million Dollars…, After Taxes
- Your Teeth remind me of Stars… They come out at Night
- Why don't you come out to the Pool with me
and let me give you some Drowning Lessons
- They say we all come from Dust
and when we Die we go back to Dust,
which Explains why there's always a Crowd at your Place…
- You look like a Million Dollars,
which is something I've never seen…
In other words, you look like Something I've Never Seen
- At least we know you weren't Born Yesterday
because Nobody could get that Ugly in 24 hours
- At least you're not Two Faced,
because if you were,
you wouldn't be Wearing that one.


-http://asmonopassing..com/?expref=next-blog
Re: You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples by Kunbee: 10:12pm On Feb 21, 2010
Too long undecided
Re: You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples by KuliKuli1(m): 4:34pm On Feb 23, 2010
TOO LONG & TOO DAMN BORING!!!!! sad
Re: You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples by donsponky(m): 4:41pm On Feb 23, 2010
one can spend the whole days reading that
Re: You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples by Kunbee: 5:54am On Feb 24, 2010
I agree
Re: You Sound Like A Manure Salesman; With A Mouth Full Of Samples by kodylicky(f): 8:25am On Feb 24, 2010
just too long sad

(1) (Reply)

A Bad And Funny Coincidence / Here's An Old Pic Of Me / Wednesday The 22nd Will Pass But The Below Story Is Timeless.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 21
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.