Could Your Solo Time Be Harming Your Love Life In The Bedroom?

Aly Walansky

Obviously, self-pleasure is a healthy and normal part of everyone’s sexual health. That said, just like our enjoyment of cheese fries or beer, everything is best enjoyed in moderation. The same can be true for masturbation: There can be too much of a good thing.

Have you ever stayed up just a bit too late rubbing one out, or were late to school or work because you got carried away in the morning? Or maybe you turned down an opportunity to meet someone to stay home and watch porn and enjoy yourself, by yourself? You aren’t alone. Here’s some other warning signs to look out for.


1. Training For Speed
Some guys have trained themselves to rub one out quickly, which can lead to ejaculating sooner than they'd like when they're getting it on with their sweetheart. “This can even lead to premature ejaculation issues over the long term,” says Antonia Hall, MA., a psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert and the award-winning author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.

2. Is It Becoming A Crutch?
Many men practice masturbation in the wild hope they will suddenly start lasting longer. That’s actually not likely to happen.

“Weak erections and early ejaculation are very real problems for over 30% of the male population,” says Jacqui Olliver, The technique modifier at End the Problem and creator of Sex Mastery: Hard AND in Control! While a useful tool for practicing techniques to last longer, masturbation becomes dangerous when it is used as a crutch to avoid having sex with a partner. “This is because masturbating to the point of ejaculation reduces a man's desire for sex which then impacts his partner and causes (her) to wonder why he masturbates but won't have sex with her. This can lead to unnecessary confusion and stress in his relationship,” says Olliver.

3. Chemical Overload
As we said, there always can be too much of a great thing. And then it’s not so great. “When you masturbate, your body starts to kick out hormones and neurotransmitters, which can be healthy in moderation, but can lead to an imbalance when overly generated,” says Hall. “Eastern philosophies have warned about ejaculating too frequently as a drain on men's health for thousands of years,” says Hall. These physical symptoms can include back pain, tired, dry eyes, and problems with vision, fatigue and even hair loss.


4. Guilt/Shame Spirals
Depending upon the messages one was raised with, there can be a lot of shame or guilt that comes with masturbating and finding pleasure through the body. “These psychological messages can lead to physiological symptoms if they're not addressed. It's important to question if the messages we're raised with resonate as true for us as adults so they don't limit our happiness,” says Hall.

5. Difficulty Getting An Erection Or Reaching Climax
Overdoing anything is unhealthy for the body, and with overly frequent masturbation a guy may find that his erection is just not getting as firm as he'd like. “Similarly, reaching climax may become more difficult. All of this should reset itself if he reduces his masturbatory practices for a while,” says Hall.

6. Skin Issues
Any chronic rubbing of the skin can cause chafing, where the skin barrier becomes disrupted leading to dryness and irritation. “To avoid chaffing, use a moisturizer or lubricant to allow for gliding over the skin, which prevents chafing. It’s the same concept behind putting petroleum jelly on the nipples before a marathon to prevent chronic rubbing,” says New York-based celebrity dermatologist Josh Zeichner.

7. Hand Pain
Have you ever used your computer for 12 hours straight and noticed your hands painfully locked in that position after? It’s known as carpal tunnel syndrome, and it’s evidenced by numbness and weakness or pain in your hand, due to pressure on the nerves on your wrist. Guess what else can cause that? Yup. “Carpal tunnel syndrome is a disorder caused by compression of the media nerve as it travels through the carpal tunnel of the hand,” says Christopher Hollingsworth, MD of NYC Surgical Associates. “Most often it is caused by repetitive wrist motion that occurs at work, although it could absolutely be caused by hobbies like masturbation. If you find that during masturbation you have pain, tingling or numbness in the thumb, index finger or middle finger, you may be giving yourself carpal tunnel syndrome and might want to dial it back a notch,” says Dr. Hollingsworth. But there is always surgical correction with a carpal tunnel release if you want to continue unimpeded, says Dr. Hollingsworth.

While you’re at it, tennis elbow is also a potential issue. According to experts at Everyday Health, "the condition is triggered by any repetitive movement of the forearm muscles."

8. Hormonal Imbalances
Getting off is going to involve the same hormones as sex, and doing it too much can cause your hormones to go haywire, in a singular direction.

“In my practice, the untoward side effects I see from over-masturbation are usually related to the neurochemical pathways which result in an increase in inflammatory factors such as cortisol, prostaglandin and certain interleukin levels,” says Dima Ali, M.D. of Wellmedica Aesthetic & Anti-Aging Medicine, Reston, VA, a cosmetic dermatologist/laser surgeon and anti-aging medicine expert. These can increase physiologically with normal levels of masturbation but can become overstimulated with excessive/addictive forms, resulting in hormonal imbalances and altered neurochemical pathways. “I have treated men for symptoms ranging from chronic pain and fatigue to thinning hair, adult acne, prostatitis, penile dermatitis/psoriasis, obesity and even impotence that have all resolved once the behavior normalized,” Dr. Ali says.

9. Infections
You can’t get STIs from self-pleasure, but you can aggravate other infections, and spread outbreaks from one area to another. Chronic infections of the penis, such as balanitis (more commonly seen in uncircumcised men), and outbreaks of Herpes II are also more common with excessive masturbation due to the increased chance of skin breakage. “Stress also decreases both the body’s ability to produce natural lubricating factors and to heal such lesions, which can result in difficult-to-treat/chronic conditions. The good news is that cessation of the behavior is often a cure,” says Dr. Ali.