If You See Olosho, Marry Her! She'll Almost Make A Better Wife.

Not many Nigerians drop in customary courts. In today's Nigeria of emptiness, thirst and lack, you are only depriving yourself of 24-carat relaxation, if you are not a signatory to the painful comedies that sneak out from such courts. I've not been there though; the stories that escape those enclosures bring about genuine laughter meant only for trying times like this. "I know of four men that my wife has slept with," "I'm no longer interested, I caught her stuffing the turkey with my gateman," "oh! I caught this woman with my younger brother, sinking the sausage in my own bed," "dissolve us please, she still has sex with her ex, after five years of marriage," "my mechanic has been sleeping with my wife," and so on, are the likes of things couples discuss with the president/Judge. Who will get married to an innocent looking girl? You? Well.

An average man prefers a young,pretty, innocent looking and well structured doll face for a wife. In fact, old men who want to re-marry even prefer such ladies. Mere seeing their faces, you can't but trust such butterflies. Before they tell you 'yes,' you are already planning marriage with them. When they smile at you, you would definitely will half of your real estate to them. Twenty four hours into your relationship, you can beat your chest that she's all yours and loves you without reservation. She can't have a side chic, not her type does that. Mere looking at her lips, you want to get married tomorrow. Woah! She's just too soft. When some meet such girls, they even pooh-pooh and brush off their friends.She's enough for a companion. She's caring, loving, gentle, intelligent and fun to be with, so, what else? Death! Oh sorry, next paragrah!

Have you ever imagined why some men just die of heart attack? One of the most stinging and sensitive feelings is that of when a girl you live for, cheats on you without a single sign of remorse. If there's one attribute of innocent looking ladies not many care to know, it is that they are also blunt. They are intelligent enough to give you reasons they slept with your driver and/or friend. "Because you do go to work in the morning and come back in the evening. I always feel lonely, what do you expect me to do?" If you are not satisfied with that beautiful response, then she'll continue, "Maybe we should break up.I had no option then, you should try to understand." That's when a lover boy/man would collapse only to wake up in the hospital.

Someone told me the story of a guy who went to pay his friend a visit, on getting there, he met his friend and they gisted. The friend he was visiting told him how hes been on the job with a pretty girl.They must have both laughed as the friend even showed his visitor some of the girls' undies. It was not funny when the girl showed up from the bathroom and alas! She was the visitors' girlfriend.What a dark day for a serious lover! This is the minim: Is it not better to date Olosho (a sex worker), so that at least you are sure of something? You are sure your babe is with some guy now getting herself screwed. Even, getting married to Olosho seems better as you would also be sure your wife is with some other man rendering sexual service when you are out for work. In fact, if you get home before her, you can easily put a call through to her and ask her to give the phone to the man she's sleeping with. That done, you would just request that the man releases your wife with a promise that you would relief her very early the next day, so that she would continue with the chemistry. Oh shit! What have I been saying? Who will marry Olosho?

How I wish innocent looking ladies are really above suspicion.If Only Saint-like girls are really trustworthy.That, no girl is truly angelic? No! Well, I will get married to a pretty and innocent looking lady who is decent too.Just that I won't place all my trust in her, but in God, who is the only one that can't disappoint.

Ayeni Faith Damilola is a writer, public speaker and eulogist.
faithdamilolaayeni@yahoo.com

You dey craze... Never make a hoe a housewife... A wise man once said