Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

Brother your father is a religious extremist, What you did was right , you have fixed a problem and created another , give your Father time , na him go call you.

I understand this feeling... , if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...

Bros you cut ties with your father because of this, you are even in another country so why are you even bothering yourself.

Going to church on Sunday is not a religious doctrine in my opinion, a lot of Nigerian parents do that, it may be to the extreme me but in his mind he is looking out for your spiritual well-being.He's just doing what an average Nigerian pastor parent would do.Its important to him (maybe not to you) that's why he's asking.

Will he use cane to flog you if you don't go to church -NO . so why breaking ties with him because he asked for the number of times you attended, you either answer or laugh over it.

It doesn't make much sense to cut communication with him because of this, he's still your father you can always have your way around him and ignore some of those things. You are not even in naija so why the huffing and puffing.

People have worse parents but still its not advisable to cut them off, you deal with them in wisdom.

A lot of Nigerian parents do things that piss their married children off but you deal with them with wisdom.
Elderly people are to be treated wisely don't hurt him abeg.


Its an irrelevant issue

I think he really do not mean bad for you. It is just the way he feels. You can ignore those things.

My dear,op,thread jeje oo, most nigerian papa are like that ooo,travelled to see my father with my kids, this long vac, on the first night,I did midnight prayer,in the following morning my father rebuked me for not praying for one hour (in my mind, I was like shey this man dey count how many hours wey I take dey pray ni) throughput my stay with them, praying became difficult cos I will be feeling that someone is somewhere counting the number of hours I used in praying.

Old fathers have a nasty way of dying when you least expect it. It can be very annoying.

Listen to the people that commented above @op. Take it easy on the old man.

chii8:
My dear,op,thread jeje oo, most nigerian papa are like that ooo,travelled to see my father with my kids, this long vac, on the first night,I did midnight prayer,in the following morning my father rebuked me for not praying for one hour (in my mind, I was like shey this man dey count how many hours wey I take dey pray ni) throughput my stay with them, praying became difficult cos I will be feeling that someone is somewhere counting the number of hours I used in praying.

Our old folks are wonderful people, you just can't get angry at them.

Well its the intention that matters, in their mind they are looking out for us, that's what I use to console myself.

You cut cord because of this small issue? O boy go and fix that cord before I send you e-slap.

Call him you stubborn son. You are not even in Nigeria sef. Pity us wey dey here. My dad say make I come back before October 1 or else??.

Zeze06:


I understand this feeling... , if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...

yea I could have just lied but that's not my thing.... didn't even come to my head.....

NoToPile:


Bros you cut ties with your father because of this, you are even in another country so why are you even bothering yourself.

Going to church on Sunday is not a religious doctrine in my opinion, a lot of Nigerian parents do that, it may be to the extreme me but in his mind he is looking out for your spiritual well-being.He's just doing what an average Nigerian pastor parent would do.Its important to him (maybe not to you) that's why he's asking.

Will he use cane to flog you if you don't go to church -NO . so why breaking ties with him because he asked for the number of times you attended, you either answer or laugh over it.

It doesn't make much sense to cut communication with him because of this, he's still your father you can always have your way around him and ignore some of those things. You are not even in naija so why the huffing and puffing.

People have worse parents but still its not advisable to cut them off, you deal with them in wisdom.

A lot of Nigerian parents do things that piss their married children off but you deal with them with wisdom.
Elderly people are to be treated wisely don't hurt him abeg.


Its an irrelevant issue

going to church is not a doctrine......but so many things everybody know about his church.....we had a big fight when I was 23 for using a sun shade in a photo that I had to leave d house for 2weeks....being d eldest, I had to come back just not to be a bad example for my poor siblings.
I just wish he would see life in a different way.

You know your dad so you should know how to relate with him.

He should understand you're not the little boy who grew up with him anymore. No need to block him, you can just ignore his calls. You're even lucky you're not in Nigeria with him. Trust me, my dad is worse.

TheArchangel:
Call him you stubborn son. You are not even in Nigeria sef. Pity us wey dey here. My dad say make I come back before October 1 or else??.

lol..

I can relate

Beverly1:
going to church is not a doctrine......but so many things everybody know about his church.....he had a big fight when I was 23 for using a sun shade in a photo that I had to leave r house for 2weeks....
I just wish he would see life in a different way.

Just let it slide, even the past things he has done that hurt you let them go.

Elderly people some times see things their own way you just have to manage them that's all.

Zeze06:


I understand this feeling... , if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...

Good for him he's young ..
So he's probably still strong to handle the separation for a while......I plan to unblock him when I have an answer for his question.

Don't block your dad from reaching you. All you need to do is to make it know to him that you have your own life to live.he should not be monitoring how you live your life.You have grown beyond that stage.abeg free the old man Jared.

Beverly1:
going to church is not a doctrine......but so many things everybody know about his church.....we had a big fight when I was 23 for using a sun shade in a photo that I had to leave d house for 2weeks....being d eldest, I had to come back just not to be a bad example for my poor siblings.
I just wish he would see life in a different way.

walahi you don suffer for the man hand.just policing your life upndan. Even God give us free hand to live our lives.
Please don't block him,just find a way to make him understand you are grown and should not monitored like a small boy.

@OP

Come on! There's something called diplomacy, adopt it and you will see yourself having your way around your father - without being insincere and rude to him - while at the same time being a favorite son before him. So far, you have knowledge but lack understanding. . . there can never be understanding without diplomacy. And knowledge without understanding = conceit (articulate incompetent).

What happened between you and your father was a case of a domineering father vs a conceited son. Diplomacy is the solution.

d old man is simply trying to lead u 2 an everlasting life, obey and u won't regret it

Continue

You did the right thing bro. If you are important to him ( you should if he is a real father and a real Christian) he will call you with time.

But don't see your father as evil for wanting you closer to GOD ( albeit in a wrong way) if I tell you what my father did, you be shocked. I don't talk to him like you have decided and I don't regret it.

OP you shouldn't go that far, he is ur father and u should keep communicating with him. Since you've known him to be religious extremist all u need is to lie to him each time he asks u such questions. My dad do call me most Sundays to ask if I went to church and most times I lie that I did even when I didn't. It's just for peace to reign. He is not there with u to know whether u are telling him the truth or not.

Omo daadaa. Is that the only reason you want to cut ties with your father?

I have no advice to give you because i'm not your father but the truth is that you didn't act wisely.

Check this out, Is it possible for your wife to cut ties with her father if something of like manner happens to her too? If she can't, then why would you.

Your dad is just like my dad, he troubles me about everything, from my hair, to my lifestyle, to my work and my abode. i left home because i don't want him to see me as his problem but i didn't cut ties with him because HE IS STILL MY FATHER

Really

That's the exact thought of a thankless child.
Clap for yourself.
Cut him off, declare him a persona non grata. Spit on his name.
Rubbish father that is so pokenoseous!!!

Ungrateful fool.
One day you will look for tears. There will be none.

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

you ask question use your hand answer am..

love reading people's comments I just can't help myself. It's like an addiction. So in honor of those comments that I have read, I have decided to write my own comment. And it's all for you. I hope you enjoy reading my comment as much as I have enjoyed writing it. It's not an interesting comment, but I'm pretty certain you have read the comment up to this point, so you may as well just keep reading right down to the end. And also thank me for wasting your time cause this is very useless.

Nobody made you antisocial and an introvert.

Greenbullet:
Brother your father is a religious extremist, What you did was right , you have fixed a problem and created another , give your Father time , na him go call you.

Correct !

Deeper life, watchman, Chosen etc etc are overflowing with extremists. If you leave them, they will start Christian Jihad on those whose ways don't align with theirs.

The man is your father. Handle him with love. How do you do that. He deserves to be lied to, big time. Tell him that you sleep in church so he can leave you alone. Thank God you are not even in Nigeria.

Who frequents churches these days if not some desperados for quick wealth and husband.

Yea I said it! Come for me!!