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The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) - Foreign Affairs - Nairaland

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The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by overhypedsteve(m): 12:59pm On Sep 23, 2017
bilms:
Why Israel is against 2 states solution on Palestine
By Abdulrazaq O Hamzat

The United Nations Security Council meeting, an annual event, started its 72nd session few days ago at the UN Headquarters in United States of America. More than 100 world leaders, thousands of diplomats and advocates are presently in New York City, in an event scheduled to hold from 19-25 September 2017 to fashion out a way forward in pursuit of global peace and security.

This year’s theme is Focusing on people — striving for peace and a decent life for all on a sustainable planet.
On the first day of the event, precisely on 19th September 2017, world leaders took turn to address their counterparts and other participants, either in advancement of their national agenda’s, pursuit of global ideas, defense of policies or solidarity with other nations.

Nigeria’s President, Muhammadu Buhari was at the event and he spoke on variety of issues, among which include Nigeria’s fight against terrorism and the country’s role in advancing democracy in Gambia.

President Buhari also spoke about the threat of nuclear war (North Korean missile program), which he says is a crisis equal to that of Cuban (1962), when the world was close to a war.
"All necessary pressure and diplomatic efforts must be brought to bear on North Korea to accept peaceful resolution of the crisis." He said.
In staying true to Nigeria’s long term stand on the Israel and Palestine dispute, President Buhari once again declared Nigeria’s total support for a two-state solution to the conflict, calling on world leaders not to forget about the unresolved dispute.

‘’New conflicts should not make us lose focus on ongoing unresolved old conflicts’’. ‘’For example, several UN Security Council Resolutions from 1967 on the Middle East crisis remain unimplemented. Meanwhile, the suffering of the Palestinian people and the blockade of Gaza continue’’. Buhari said.

In a similar speech given last year on the same issue, President Buhari had stated that,“our support for various Security Council resolutions restoring and respecting 1967 boundaries with Jerusalem as capital of Palestine is firm and unshaken.

What president Buhari has done since coming to power is to re-emphasize Nigeria’s stand on the issue as often done by his predecessors. Nigeria is known to take a consistent stand on key global issues and this is not in any way different.
I am beginning to suspect that the president is not well informed on the capabilities of our Armed Forces. This is the same thing as saying we side the United States and we hate the stupid North Koreans even without having an ambassador there to hear them out. OK, what if this old griot make us a spot in the target map of the North Korean mad man. At least the US will defend where it has bases with SAMs but who will defend us? With no single air defence system in place this old man is adding us to a conflict where most of the main actors are trying to stay neutral. I think the president is not well informed on the attack or defensive capabilities of our Armed formations. If he does then he should know that we have a national emergency in those areas, he won't be giving out big talks. Believe you me this old men are sometimes clueless in this things.
My Pops a former big dog in the Armed Forces would get furious anytime he hear that we are training with the Pakistan he will always tell me that those are really poor defenseless countries and the Nigerian Armed Forces can take them on easily. He would then recount the Liberian days and Sierra Leone, he would mention some outdated equipments that he believe would kick a55 in battle. He told me the Alpha jets where the fastest jets in Africa and they where the key to the win in Liberia. Old man would sometimes sit with his old retired colleagues talking about the valiance of their days, they always conclude that any nation pitched against Nigeria in battle would have to face the indomitable Nigerian infantry and the unbeatable Alpha Jets. I fear the outdated doctrine of our Armed Forces but what I fear more is the outdated minds of its thinkers. Imagine a whole Air Chief calling Governors and vips to celebrate and induct five units of a trainer aircraft, that's because in his mind with the proper equipments added he can invade Russia with that jet. I piety those online that are thinking this guy's know what they are doing, well it's either of two things. It's either they don't know what they are doing or they do and are deliberately incapacitating the Armed Forces of the most threatened Nation is Sub Saharan Africa.


Case scenario :
Nigerian airspace have just been invaded by two fourth generation aircraft of a neighboring nation, the aircraft is spotted heading to Abuja.

(At the Aso Villa)

President: hmm so those Chadians think they can invade my country, Air Chief send in the F7s and shoot those planes down.

Air Chief: sir we have done that already, but I am afraid we are out of F7s sir.

President : what do you mean out of F7s? Those jets are the jets we ve been using to kill Boko Haram and scare West African Dictators.

Air Chief: the jets in question are too fast for the F7s it's like it sees them before they leave the base and lay in wait for them. The jet is so advanced with smart raders, smart missile and with our present technology we can only barely see them, our jets are flying blindly sir.

President : hmm. That's new, who would have ever thought a plane can carry it's own rader(and to think the Chadians got it before us) Air Chief! Do you think that Tucano that trump is selling for us for 500million dollars have a rader on top of it like this one?

Air Chief: I do not know yet sir. I only ran a quick search on Google about the plane before we decided to buy it. Let me quickly check Wikipedia.

President : no time for that. Call me the army chief

Army Chief: Salute sir.

President : take it easy on yourself, before you fall down.
Okay we have two strange aircraft coming towards Abuja carrying a new technology called "rader" and we need you to use those advanced Anti Aircraft Guns that you are always telling me can shoot anything down to shoot it down.

Army Chief: OK sir. We will shoot it down in no time. Although we may have to go through the manual again to see how it works when using it against air targets. We have not tried that before.


President : OK then be fast. Use the Air chief's phone. There is this thing called google that he use for getting information's.

Army Chief : OK sir.

At the Barrack in Abuja. Men are seen mounting the gunner of 2 old rusty looking Shilka.

Army Chief: OK men. Our nation is under attack. Do well to shoot down this two jets that are invading us. We will wait for the moment they cross into Abuja and shoot them. From the calculations we received from the guys at NASRDA they will come through here.

While the army Chief spoke two tiny object far away in the sky zoomed past leaving a trail in the clouds.

Army Chief : never mind this is useless, the planes just entered Abuja go home and pray with your families. It's up to the boys in the Guard Brigade now to sing the president a befitting funeral song.

At the Aso Villa

President : I am seriously mad at you, how is it that I am not aware that Chad have this kind of aircraft.

Air Chief: sir we never saw them as a threat till now.

President : please check if they are heading for Aso Rock. So that I can kick off the "official presidential last prayers"

Air Chief : they are heading here sir. I just googled again and someone is saying on Nairaland that...

President : Nairaland? Oh! I know that site. There is this brilliant ICT guy called Overhypedsteve who could design you a website, e-commerce shops and a registration portal within days (email me @ stevezuks@gmail.com).


Air Chief : OK, I got Intel from Nairaland that the Chadians have been purchasing some kind of fancy bombs called bunker buster that can hit anything even inside a hardened bunker like we have here in Aso Rock. And the Chadian President's twitter account have been spreading this hash tag #FromDerbyWithLove with pictures of him posing close to the bomb. Sir been a very smart intelligent somebody with military experience I have come to the conclusion that they are going to use those bomb on Aso Rock.

President : no way. No Bomb can penetrate the Aso Rock bunker we just upgraded it remember?


Air Chief: sir since we are all going to die let me just come out clean and say that, the upgrade never happened, we just repainted it and I gave the rest of the cash to charity.

President : well at least you gave the money to charity.
What's the name of the charity.


Air Chief: erm! erm! DubaiSummerShoppin&spaCharity its aimed at helping poor kids and wife of Air Force Chiefs go to Dubai for shopping and Spa. So far we were able to test run it by sending my kids and wife to Dubai. It was successful.


President: wow that's cool. I really like Dubai. There is this Spa I once visited where they will put slices of cucumbers on your eyes and allow you to lay down in mud. First I thought it was disgusting but then later I realized it was rejuvenating. Let's go to Dubai sometimes if we survive this.

The sound of helicopters rotors could be heard outside.

President : go and check what is happening outside I think the jets are about to start bombing us.

A loud mega phone could be heard from outside( Good afternoon Mr President! This is an intervention team from the US African Command. We have airlfted two units of the patriot missile system and our men are on board to man them. You have no reason to fear. We will protect you.

President: Thank God you guys got here quickly. I was almost about to start the "Official Presidential last prayer". Thank you USA but to what do we owe this honour?

AfriCom: well we figured if we help you shoot down the Chadians jets you would allow us build a military base in your country. That way we will always be on ground to protect you in times like this.

President : wow the US is really great. No hidden agenda. (whispers to the Airchief use Google and check the CIA website to see if they have hidden Agenda's)

Air Chief: OK sir, (looked into his phone for a while and whispers to the president) sir I have checked the CIA website and I am sure there is no hidden agenda. In fact I was able to screenshot a big sign from the site on which is written in bold "No Hidden Agenda's "

President : well white people. You can come and build a base in our country so long as you will protect us from "rader" planes. But that will be until we build more sophisticated planes for ourselves. You see the Air Chief is a very smart man and he has been visiting a Do it yourself website which coupled with some YouTube videos he will soon build us the greatest attack jets ever made.

That is how it will just happen. Building a base in Nigeria would even be a small request from anybody that will save our a55 from the glaring stup1dity of the ruling class.


Peace Y'all.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by Nobody: 2:25pm On Sep 23, 2017
The fact that we lack behind in some capacity doesn't warrant ignorant remarks. your former top dog papa should have told you Nigeria and Pakistan likewise other allies go way back. o boy stop this hallucination.
Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by Nobody: 5:16pm On Sep 23, 2017
Wait! That is not all.

Part Two:

President: Air chief, but there are some boys on Nairaland who you told me have been giving you updates on the Afrikan Military & Security Services?

Air Chief: That's right sir! One of them is Henry240 and the other is Tdayof. We even have them on our payroll sir but unfortunately, I just found out that Henry is an independent gun-running contractor who has been supplying chinese-made copies of AK-47 to militia & rebels in Somalia, Congo & Sierra Leone while Tdayof is an upcoming inventor who is currently studying in China about how to build “toy-drones” for Nigeria. grin cheesy grin

Infact, it was Henry240's idea that made me order for those Amerikan Tucanos.

President: I see! grin cheesy grin

Army Chief: I should have listened to Appleyard, Scully95, Nairaminted, Capip120, Bonechamberlain, Seunny4lif, Romme2u, Overhypedsteve, EdoBoy90 & Poseidon000.

President: Are they the new G.O.Cs? grin

Army Chief: No sir! These guys are seasoned military strategists who have studied international military doctrines since the time of Hitler.

President: Oh! They used to work for Hitler - The President of Western Germany? grin

Army Chief: No sir! They are mostly on Nairaland educating our officers on the latest military technologies & advancements of Countries such as Russia, India, Iran, China & North Korea cheesy

They once advised me to procure some highly sophisticated military equipment from Russia such as the Iskander-M ballistic missile systems, Mig-29k jets, SU-30SM jets, S-400 SAMs, Pantsir-S1, BUK self-propelled SAMs & 3 Admiral Gorshkov-class frigates but Henry240 discouraged me saying - our shilka, bazooka, greenades, T54/55 armoured tanks & F7 jets can withstand & repel invasion from any Country. grin cheesy grin

President: Send the DSS to arrest both Henry240 & Tdayof for deliberately misleading & sabotaging the security of our Nation. They will be tried for treason. grin cheesy grin

Army Chief: Yes sir!

President: This Nairaland sef, who owns it?

Army Chief: It is one Yoruba boy who lives in Sango Ota. His name is Seun.

President: My media spokesperson (Lauretta Onochie) told me there is no day they do not abuse me on Nairaland. Is it true?

Army Chief: That is correct sir! Infact, there are two boys called Lalasticlala & Mynd44 who are always pushing the threads to the front page for the whole world to see. Even our enemies now know your nicknames like Bubu, Fulani Terrorist & Daura Cow cheesy

President: Good! Now, order your boys to launch “Operation Python Dance - Season 4” on Nairaland so that I can deal with them. grin

***Naval Chief Runs Inside The Bunker To Deliver Some Bad News***

Naval Chief: Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! We are in cataclysmic trouble.

President: IPOB has invaded Aso Rock? grin

Naval Chief: No sir! The 2 Algerians fighter jets have just taken out the Amerikans and their Patriot Air Defense System which were meant to be protecting us.

And the 2 jets are currently flying low & simulating missile attack against Aso Rock but our Guards Brigade are trying to bring them down with our Chinese-made AK-47. grin

President: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.

***Another loud mega phone could be heard from outside***

This is the Algerian super-commander Abdelaziz Salah. You are advised to surrender your wife Mrs. Aisha Buhari now or I shall bomb Asorock to ashes. You have just 40minutes to comply grin cheesy grin

President: Buratai - Pls, you know I have just one wife, and you have 3 wives.

Army Chief Interrupts: Sir! All my wives have gone for shopping in Dubai but I know a girl on Nairaland who we can package to look exactly like Mrs. Aisha Buhari. Her name is Missy89 grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin

Army Chief Phone rings: Grreeem, Grreeem (This is Sergei Shoigu - The Russian Defense Minister - I have 2 Akula-class submarines patrolling the Nigerian territorial waters & requesting invitation to neutralize the threats against Nigeria - Over? )

President: Delta, Alpha, Romeo, Echo, Copy - Invitation Approved Dan bura uba! grin cheesy grin

To be continued.........

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by seunny4lif(m): 5:55pm On Sep 23, 2017
Zoharariel:
Wait! That is not all.

Part Two:

President: Air chief, but there are some boys on Nairaland who you told me have been giving you updates on the Afrikan Military & Security Services?

Air Chief: That's right sir! One of them is Henry240 and the other is Tdayof. We even have them on our payroll sir but unfortunately, I just found out that Henry is an independent gun-running contractor who has been supplying chinese-made copies of AK-47 to militia & rebels in Somalia, Congo & Sierra Leone while Tdayof is an upcoming inventor who is currently studying in China about how to build “toy-drones” for Nigeria. grin cheesy grin

Infact, it was Henry240's idea that made me order for those Amerikan Tucanos.

President: I see! grin cheesy grin

Army Chief: I should have listened to Appleyard, Scully95, Nairaminted, Capip120, Bonechamberlain, Seunny4lif, Romme2u, Overhypedsteve, EdoBoy90 & Poseidon000.

President: Are they the new G.O.Cs? grin

Army Chief: No sir! These guys are seasoned military strategists who have studied international military doctrines since the time of Hitler.

President: Oh! They used to work for Hitler - The President of Western Germany? grin

Army Chief: No sir! They are mostly on Nairaland educating our officers on the latest military technologies & advancements of Countries such as Russia, India, Iran, China & North Korea cheesy

They once advised me to procure some highly sophisticated military equipment from Russia such as the Iskander-M ballistic missile systems, Mig-29k jets, SU-30SM jets, S-400 SAMs, Pantsir-S1, BUK self-propelled SAMs & 3 Admiral Gorshkov-class frigates but Henry240 discouraged me saying - our shilka, bazooka, greenades, T54/55 armoured tanks & F7 jets can withstand & repel invasion from any Country. grin cheesy grin

President: Send the DSS to arrest both Henry240 & Tdayof for deliberately misleading & sabotaging the security of our Nation. They will be tried for treason. grin cheesy grin

Army Chief: Yes sir!

President: This Nairaland sef, who owns it?

Army Chief: It is one Yoruba boy who lives in Sango Ota. His name is Seun.

President: My media spokesperson (Lauretta Onochie) told me there is no day they do not abuse me on Nairaland. Is it true?

Army Chief: That is correct sir! Infact, there are two boys called Lalasticlala & Mynd44 who are always pushing the threads to the front page for the whole world to see. Even our enemies now know your nicknames like Bubu, Fulani Terrorist & Daura Cow cheesy

President: Good! Now, order your boys to launch “Operation Python Dance - Season 4” on Nairaland so that I can deal with them. grin

***Naval Chief Runs Inside The Bunker To Deliver Some Bad News***

Naval Chief: Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! We are in cataclysmic trouble.

President: IPOB has invaded Aso Rock? grin

Naval Chief: No sir! The 2 Algerians fighter jets have just taken out the Amerikans and their Patriot Air Defense System which were meant to be protecting us.

And the 2 jets are currently flying low & simulating missile attack against Aso Rock but our Guards Brigade are trying to bring them down with our Chinese-made AK-47. grin

President: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.

***Another loud mega phone could be heard from outside***

This is the Algerian super-commander Abdelaziz Salah. You are advised to surrender your wife Mrs. Aisha Buhari now or I shall bomb Asorock to ashes. You have just 40minutes to comply grin cheesy grin

President: Buratai - Pls, you know I have just one wife, and you have 3 wives.

Army Chief Interrupts: Sir! All my wives have gone for shopping in Dubai but I know a girl on Nairaland who we can package to look exactly like Mrs. Aisha Buhari. Her name is Missy89 grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin

Army Chief Phone rings: Grreeem, Grreeem (This is Sergei Shoigu - The Russian Defense Minister - I have 2 Akula-class submarines patrolling the Nigerian territorial waters & requesting invitation to neutralize the threats against Nigeria - Over? )

President: Delta, Alpha, Romeo, Echo, Copy - Invitation Approved Dan bura uba! grin cheesy grin

To be continued.........

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by seunny4lif(m): 5:56pm On Sep 23, 2017
Lala we need this in FP grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by overhypedsteve(m): 6:22pm On Sep 23, 2017
bilms:
Why Israel is against 2 states solution on Palestine
By Abdulrazaq O Hamzat

The United Nations Security Council meeting, an annual event, started its 72nd session few days ago at the UN Headquarters in United States of America. More than 100 world leaders, thousands of diplomats and advocates are presently in New York City, in an event scheduled to hold from 19-25 September 2017 to fashion out a way forward in pursuit of global peace and security.

This year’s theme is Focusing on people — striving for peace and a decent life for all on a sustainable planet.
On the first day of the event, precisely on 19th September 2017, world leaders took turn to address their counterparts and other participants, either in advancement of their national agenda’s, pursuit of global ideas, defense of policies or solidarity with other nations.

Nigeria’s President, Muhammadu Buhari was at the event and he spoke on variety of issues, among which include Nigeria’s fight against terrorism and the country’s role in advancing democracy in Gambia.

President Buhari also spoke about the threat of nuclear war (North Korean missile program), which he says is a crisis equal to that of Cuban (1962), when the world was close to a war.
"All necessary pressure and diplomatic efforts must be brought to bear on North Korea to accept peaceful resolution of the crisis." He said.
In staying true to Nigeria’s long term stand on the Israel and Palestine dispute, President Buhari once again declared Nigeria’s total support for a two-state solution to the conflict, calling on world leaders not to forget about the unresolved dispute.

‘’New conflicts should not make us lose focus on ongoing unresolved old conflicts’’. ‘’For example, several UN Security Council Resolutions from 1967 on the Middle East crisis remain unimplemented. Meanwhile, the suffering of the Palestinian people and the blockade of Gaza continue’’. Buhari said.

In a similar speech given last year on the same issue, President Buhari had stated that,“our support for various Security Council resolutions restoring and respecting 1967 boundaries with Jerusalem as capital of Palestine is firm and unshaken.

What president Buhari has done since coming to power is to re-emphasize Nigeria’s stand on the issue as often done by his predecessors. Nigeria is known to take a consistent stand on key global issues and this is not in any way different.

The two-state solution refers to a solution of the Israeli–Palestinian conflict which calls for "two states for two groups of people." The two-state solution envisages an independent State of Palestine alongside the Israel, west of the Jordan River. The boundary between the two states is still subject to dispute and negotiation, with Palestinian and Arab leadership insisting on the "1967 borders", which is not accepted by Israel. The territory of the former Mandate Palestine which shall not form part of the Palestinian State, shall be part of Israeli territory.

After the Six Day War in June 1967, the United Nations Security Council unanimously passed "United Nations Security Council Resolution 242" calling for Israeli withdrawal from the "Israeli-occupied territories" during the war, in exchange for "termination of all claims or states of belligerency" and "acknowledgement of sovereignty, territorial integrity and political independence of every state in the area". The "Palestine Liberation Organization" (PLO), which had been formed in 1964, strongly criticized the resolution, saying that it reduced the question of Palestine to a refugee problem.

In September 1974, 56 Member States proposed that "the question of Palestine" be included as an item in the General Assembly’s agenda. In a resolution adopted on 22 November 1974, the General Assembly affirmed Palestinian rights, which included the "right to self-determination without external interference", "the right to national independence and sovereignty", and the "right to return to their homes and property". These rights have been affirmed every year since.
However, despite the resolution and endorsement by almost all countries of the world, Israel backed by the United States of America has continued to reject the solution.

While Israel doesn’t out rightly reject the two states solution, it prefer the one-state solution and the similar bi national solution. Proponents of a bi national solution to the conflict advocate a single state in Israel, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, with citizenship and equal rights in the combined entity for all inhabitants of all three territories, without regard to ethnicity or religion, but most countries of the world differ, yet are not trying to understand why Israel is reluctant to go ahead with the two states solution as resolved by the United Nations.

Many have been asking, why is Israel against the two states solution when almost all countries of the world endorsed it as the best solution? Do they really love the crisis to remain unresolved for as long as possible? If not, why are they refusing to implement a resolution the global body consider appropriate? Or better still, when will Israel agree to end this crisis that is doing more harm than good to both parties?

My understanding as a peace professional is that, Israel has fears and worries, which are genuine and needed to be adequately dealt with by the global body. They understand that if those issues are not addressed before the two states solution is implemented, the two states will not be a solution; it would rather be the beginning of greater crisis.

It is not a secret that between Israel and Palestine leadership, there is intractable mutual hatred. Individual leaders that have worked for a peaceful resolution of the crisis from both sides had been murdered for their efforts. Former Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and President Anwar Sadat of Egypt come to mind here.

If Israel declare the conflict over today and allow the resolution to take place as proposed, the unaddressed mutual hatred within both parties will only give the Palestinian hardliners some legitimacy to not only acquire arms to engage in real hostility against Israel, it would also enable them to partner with enemy nations to start a greater conflict with Israel, in furtherance of their mutual hatred. I am sure no nation would deliberately empower its hostile neighbor to have more capacity to turn against it.

In conclusion, my proposition would that, the United Nations design a 5 years strategic confidence building program to reduce hostility and mutual hatred between both parties.

The high level programme should carefully articulate Israel’s fear and concerns and work to address them before pushing for the implementation of the UN resolution.

The programme should be built in such a way that, both parties interact more and are given platform to commit themselves to not just being independent of each other, but working together at the highest level.

Until Israel become comfortable that it is safe in a two state solution, it would never agree for it to be implemented.

Abdulrazaq O Hamzat is the Executive Director of Foundation for Peace Professionals.
I am beginning to suspect that the president is not well informed on the capabilities of our Armed Forces. This is the same thing as saying we side the United States and we hate the stupid North Koreans even without having an ambassador there to hear them out. OK, what if this old griot make us a spot in the target map of the North Korean mad man. At least the US will defend where it has bases with SAMs but who will defend us? With no single air defence system in place this old man is adding us to a conflict where most of the main actors are trying to stay neutral. I think the president is not well informed on the attack or defensive capabilities of our Armed formations. If he does then he should know that we have a national emergency in those areas, he won't be giving out big talks. Believe you me this old men are sometimes clueless in this things.
My Pops a former big dog in the Armed Forces would get furious anytime he hear that we are training with the Pakistan he will always tell me that those are really poor defenseless countries and the Nigerian Armed Forces can take them on easily. He would then recount the Liberian days and Sierra Leone, he would mention some outdated equipments that he believe would kick a55 in battle. He told me the Alpha jets where the fastest jets in Africa and they where the key to the win in Liberia. Old man would sometimes sit with his old retired colleagues talking about the valiance of their days, they always conclude that any nation pitched against Nigeria in battle would have to face the indomitable Nigerian infantry and the unbeatable Alpha Jets. I fear the outdated doctrine of our Armed Forces but what I fear more is the outdated minds of its thinkers. Imagine a whole Air Chief calling Governors and vips to celebrate and induct five units of a trainer aircraft, that's because in his mind with the proper equipments added he can invade Russia with that jet. I piety those online that are thinking this guy's know what they are doing, well it's either of two things. It's either they don't know what they are doing or they do and are deliberately incapacitating the Armed Forces of the most threatened Nation is Sub Saharan Africa.




Case scenario (part 1)
Nigerian airspace have just been invaded by two fourth generation aircraft of a neighboring nation, the aircraft is spotted heading to Abuja.

(At the Aso Villa)

President: hmm so those Chadians think they can invade my country, Air Chief send in the F7s and shoot those planes down.

Air Chief: sir we have done that already, but I am afraid we are out of F7s sir.

President : what do you mean out of F7s? Those jets are the jets we ve been using to kill Boko Haram and scare West African Dictators.

Air Chief: the jets in question are too fast for the F7s it's like it sees them before they leave the base and lay in wait for them. The jet is so advanced with smart raders, smart missile and with our present technology we can only barely see them, our jets are flying blindly sir.

President : hmm. That's new, who would have ever thought a plane can carry it's own rader(and to think the Chadians got it before us) Air Chief! Do you think that Tucano that trump is selling for us for 500million dollars have a rader on top of it like this one?

Air Chief: I do not know yet sir. I only ran a quick search on Google about the plane before we decided to buy it. Let me quickly check Wikipedia.

President : no time for that. Call me the army chief

Army Chief: Salute sir.

President : take it easy on yourself, before you fall down.
Okay we have two strange aircraft coming towards Abuja carrying a new technology called "rader" and we need you to use those advanced Anti Aircraft Guns that you are always telling me can shoot anything down to shoot it down.

Army Chief: OK sir. We will shoot it down in no time. Although we may have to go through the manual again to see how it works when using it against air targets. We have not tried that before.


President : OK then be fast. Use the Air chief's phone. There is this thing called google that he use for getting information's.

Army Chief : OK sir.

At the Barrack in Abuja. Men are seen mounting the gunner of 2 old rusty looking Shilka.

Army Chief: OK men. Our nation is under attack. Do well to shoot down this two jets that are invading us. We will wait for the moment they cross into Abuja and shoot them. From the calculations we received from the guys at NASRDA they will come through here.

While the army Chief spoke two tiny object far away in the sky zoomed past leaving a trail in the clouds.

Army Chief : never mind this is useless, the planes just entered Abuja go home and pray with your families. It's up to the boys in the Guard Brigade now to sing the president a befitting funeral song.

At the Aso Villa

President : I am seriously mad at you, how is it that I am not aware that Chad have this kind of aircraft.

Air Chief: sir we never saw them as a threat till now.

President : please check if they are heading for Aso Rock. So that I can kick off the "official presidential last prayers"

Air Chief : they are heading here sir. I just googled again and someone is saying on Nairaland that...

President : Nairaland? Oh! I know that site. There is this brilliant ICT guy called Overhypedsteve who could design you a website, e-commerce shops and a registration portal within days (email me @ stevezuks@gmail.com).


Air Chief : OK, I got Intel from Nairaland that the Chadians have been purchasing some kind of fancy bombs called bunker buster that can hit anything even inside a hardened bunker like we have here in Aso Rock. And the Chadian President's twitter account have been spreading this hash tag #FromDerbyWithLove with pictures of him posing close to the bomb. Sir been a very smart intelligent somebody with military experience I have come to the conclusion that they are going to use those bomb on Aso Rock.

President : no way. No Bomb can penetrate the Aso Rock bunker we just upgraded it remember?


Air Chief: sir since we are all going to die let me just come out clean and say that, the upgrade never happened, we just repainted it and I gave the rest of the cash to charity.

President : well at least you gave the money to charity.
What's the name of the charity.


Air Chief: erm! erm! DubaiSummerShoppin&spaCharity its aimed at helping poor kids and wife of Air Force Chiefs go to Dubai for shopping and Spa. So far we were able to test run it by sending my kids and wife to Dubai. It was successful.


President: wow that's cool. I really like Dubai. There is this Spa I once visited where they will put slices of cucumbers on your eyes and allow you to lay down in mud. First I thought it was disgusting but then later I realized it was rejuvenating. Let's go to Dubai sometimes if we survive this.

The sound of helicopters rotors could be heard outside.

President : go and check what is happening outside I think the jets are about to start bombing us.

A loud mega phone could be heard from outside( Good afternoon Mr President! This is an intervention team from the US African Command. We have airlfted two units of the patriot missile system and our men are on board to man them. You have no reason to fear. We will protect you.

President: Thank God you guys got here quickly. I was almost about to start the "Official Presidential last prayer". Thank you USA but to what do we owe this honour?

AfriCom: well we figured if we help you shoot down the Chadians jets you would allow us build a military base in your country. That way we will always be on ground to protect you in times like this.

President : wow the US is really great. No hidden agenda. (whispers to the Airchief use Google and check the CIA website to see if they have hidden Agenda's)

Air Chief: OK sir, (looked into his phone for a while and whispers to the president) sir I have checked the CIA website and I am sure there is no hidden agenda. In fact I was able to screenshot a big sign from the site on which is written in bold "No Hidden Agenda's "

President : well white people. You can come and build a base in our country so long as you will protect us from "rader" planes. But that will be until we build more sophisticated planes for ourselves. You see the Air Chief is a very smart man and he has been visiting a Do it yourself website which coupled with some YouTube videos he will soon build us the greatest attack jets ever made.

That is how it will just happen. Building a base in Nigeria would even be a small request from anybody that will save our a55 from the glaring stup1dity of the ruling class.

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Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by overhypedsteve(m): 6:26pm On Sep 23, 2017
The initial post was banned but above this comment is a repost. Please unban the post

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Re: The Day Chadian Planes Invaded Nigeria And The President's Reponse(hypothetical) by hamzeiy: 9:34pm On Sep 24, 2017
Hahahaha...its a crazy piece. Anyway no country can invade nigeria in the world just like that.

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