₦airaland Forum

May God give me wisdom to meet and understand the next marriageable woman.The ex tried to embarass me,which I think is wickedness.To PaperLace who asked her age,I say her age shouldn't matter in goodness of her heart.A sick person needs attention no matter your age,whether you know them or not,even if you're enemies.Only a dead heart,I said callous in my initial posts,will act otherwise.When I looked at her in that moment,I saw an uncaring person who needed to be on their own.You don't beg a caring person for attention when you're sick.If I have done the same to her,even if,as a caring person,a woman for that matter,her maternal instincts should kick in in my moments of weakness.But her conscience was dead.All she could think was the high being wicked will give her.Of course,I'll never discuss this with her.Relationship is over,except she gets a new conscience,realizes she made a huge error,apologizes and is greatly patient for me to heal.But she won't do this because of gigantic ego.

dokwhot:
May God give me wisdom to meet and understand the next marriageable woman.The ex tried to embarass me,which I think is wickedness.To PaperLace who asked her age,I say her age shouldn't matter in goodness of her heart.A sick person needs attention no matter your age,whether you know them or not,even if you're enemies.Only a dead heart,I said callous in my initial posts,will act otherwise.When I looked at her in that moment,I saw an uncaring person who needed to be on their own.You don't beg a caring person for attention when you're sick.If I have done the same to her,even if,as a caring person,a woman for that matter,her maternal instincts should kick in in my moments of weakness.But her conscience was dead.All she could think was the high being wicked will give her.Of course,I'll never discuss this with her.Relationship is over,except she gets a new conscience,realizes she made a huge error,apologizes and is greatly patient for me to heal.But she won't do this because of gigantic ego.

Okay, break-up. Better luck next time.

I asked her age because of her subsequent actions not her insensitivity to your ill health, I think that's obvious _based on the paragraph(s).

PaperLace:
Okay, break-up. Better luck next time.

I asked her age because of her subsequent actions not her insensitivity to your ill health, I think that's obvious _based on the paragraph(s).

I don't need luck. But work and faith in God.I know something better will happen for me.As this post is now my diary,I'll announce it here,invite all to the ceremony.

PaperLace:
What is wrong in what I said?
His post was vague, except there are underlying issues which he finally agreed to, calling off a prospective marriage over a one time experience is not right to me!!!

Yes, (some) people do. Don't act like you don't know it happens, that would be very myopic or pretentious. The earlier you all that think marriage is a walk in the park know it isn't, the better for us all. Everything, break-up, separate, divorce, jokers!

My post was centred on understanding what led to that issue, if you couldn't comprehend that_take your gender biased talk to people who have the time. I addressed the wrong of both parties,while asking for clarifications.

Let me just make my point clear, so we won't be going back and forth on this

1. Anyone who doesn't care to help their spouse in the point illness because of a Grudge they hold shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place. They can/should carry their bags and go. There is no excuse.

2. Our men and MY HOUSE, always ordering their girlfriends and wives out of their house. -- This generalization which you used is what was pissing me off. The issue of the OP in this case was right for telling her to leave.

No need to reply my comment.

Guitarlife:
Op don't listen to all these weak and selfish ladies on this platform, I have been looking for a wife now for the past 1 year same with my friend we never see.

Since I came to Lagos all I see are myopic, selfish and empty headed ladies covering their ignorance with heavy makeup.
I will advise you to look for a humble and decent girl. Not the kind of lady who did not even think of appealing to you when you got mad .
The kind of mentality ladies are moving with these days is bad, work hard , make your money and next time do not ignore red flags .
Personally, I do not like ladies who watch movies too much, I watch movies once in a while but when lady sits all day watching telemundo and african magic how will she raise your children to be the einsteins and the mark Zuckerberg ?

Lmao !!!

In as much as I also live in Lagos, Habba. E never reach like that. There are so many good decent ladies in Lagos. Infact you have a higher chance in Lagos with a population of over 25M people.

truthsayer009:
Let me just make my point clear, so we won't be going back and forth on this

1. Anyone who doesn't care to help their spouse in the point illness because of a Grudge they hold shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place. They can/should carry their bags and go. There is no excuse.

2. Our men and MY HOUSE, always ordering their girlfriends and wives out of their house. -- This generalization which you used is what was pissing me off. The issue of the OP in this case was right for telling her to leave.

No need to reply my comment.

I'll reply your comment if I see the need to, no need telling me not to _childish. Our is a pronoun. If you had stated your opinion(s) as yours and respected mine as mine, I wouldn't be wasting my alphabets. RIGHT is subjective, the girl can also argue her actions were right.

People are so fast to drop a relationship sha

PaperLace:
I'll reply your comment if I see the need to, no need telling me not to _childish. If you had states your opinions as yours and respected mine as mine, I wouldn't be wasting my alphabets.

Ok, I apologize. I don't just want to be going back and forth.

dokwhot:
Her father called after the issue,asked me what happened.I could only say "Sir,please ask ...(her name)".I don't really love complaining or drama.I've never called him to discuss any issue in my relationship with the daughter.It's not going to happen now.It was something we both agreed on together.She has broken that agreement and had been discussing everything with her friends and family secretly,I now realize.Obviously,I don't like hurting people.It's better she is the one who breaks up with me.I'm still friends with all my exes,we communicate.

Drama drama drama

truthsayer009:
Is there any other way to tell someone to leave your house? Abi na Email you wan send before she leave.

You should write an email and Copy her parents in the mail. Mtchew !

Lmao!

Adaumunocha:
People are so fast to drop a relationship sha

Alternatives is the problem. The problem now is before you say two things to people, someone has gone to remove what we tell them, confuse them. and most times, these alternatives are fakes, liars and deceivers.

Maybe the babe no get television for house..lol.she came to visit her guy that is ill and did not even pay attention to the guy and some people are even saying the guy is not understanding.. abeg,what is there to understand .if it were to be the other way round they would say the guy is not caring....mtchew like someone said Do not ignore reg flag

supersystemsnig:
Alternatives is the problem. The problem now is before you say two things to people, someone has gone to remove what we tell them, confuse them. and most times, these alternatives are fakes, liars and deceivers.

And most relationships have become impersonal,people respect their online chatting partners than people they relate with.Nice online,vultures in reality.

supersystemsnig:
Alternatives is the problem. The problem now is before you say two things to people, someone has gone to remove what we tell them, confuse them. and most times, these alternatives are fakes, liars and deceivers.

Yea

dokwhot:
And most relationships have become impersonal,people respect their online chatting partners than people they relate with.Nice online,vultures in reality.

True. The problem with relationships is not the body but the mind. You get the body have amazing time. but friends have deposited thrash in their minds and it dictates the pace of things, and sadly, you can't tell them...They can't believe it....


Men, i'm done with naija chicks, moving on to my yankee babes back abeg

Adaumunocha:
Yea

You have to agree with me that most married people are not happy, because they didnt marry the best person. The best candidate was looked down upon, they walked away, only for them to turn back and realise the best candidate isn't who they got married to, it causes frustration and unhappiness, many couples are actors, nollywood entertainers, which is why people should not be hasty to quit relationships

supersystemsnig:
You have to agree with me that most married people are not happy, because they didnt marry the best person. The best candidate was looked down upon, they walked away, only for them to turn back and realise the best candidate isn't who they got married to, it causes frustration and unhappiness, many couples are actors, nollywood entertainers, which is why people should not be hasty to quit relationships

I hope to marry my best friend

Adaumunocha:
I hope to marry my best friend

Stick to him, and give him signs you want more than friendship. Hoping is not enough baby

ur babe is wrong even if there is a fight,she is suppose to care abt ur health,nawa 4 u sef, u bought her a phone & collected it cos of small fight hmmm

your action was uncalled for though

The OP didn't overreact and what he did sounds like what i'm capable of doing. I also don't think her apparent neglect on that day was the reason for sending her packing. It was just the last straw. She must have been doing things that have been pissing off the OP and he just had the last of it after she refused to show concern to someone who is ill. I don't understand why some ladies think that the only thing they can bring to a relationship is by being demanding financially without add as little as showing some concern for the well being of the man.

I gave my all but it wasn't enough...On to the next.I must succeed.Her "friend" destroyed our relationship.I kept saying it when this friend of hers showed up.I noticed and said soon,you'll get infected with hatred.I read the hatred and wickedness in said friend.She changed soon enough.She never believed me.Now she claims it's all my fault.I behaved as a good man,no cheating,good provider,tried to protect her from vultures who pretend as friends.The seed was already sown.I succeeded in creating a chasm between them but my once sweet relationship was already poisoned.

dokwhot:
I gave my all but it wasn't enough...On to the next.I must succeed.Her "friend" destroyed our relationship.I kept saying it when this friend of hers showed up.I noticed and said soon,you'll get infected with hatred.I read the hatred and wickedness in said friend.She changed soon enough.She never believed me.Now she claims it's all my fault.I behaved as a good man,no cheating,good provider,tried to protect her from vultures who pretend as friends.The seed was already sown.I succeeded in creating a chasm between them but my once sweet relationship was already poisoned.

It is always their friends that destroys the relationship...I can feel you're hurt...Take it easy, it's their friends oh...Sorry, wish i can console you

dokwhot:
I gave my all but it wasn't enough...On to the next.I must succeed.Her "friend" destroyed our relationship.I kept saying it when this friend of hers showed up.I noticed and said soon,you'll get infected with hatred.I read the hatred and wickedness in said friend.She changed soon enough.She never believed me.Now she claims it's all my fault.[b] I behaved as a good man,no cheating,good provider,tried to protect her from vultures who pretend as friends.[b] The seed was already sown.I succeeded in creating a chasm between them but my once sweet relationship was already poisoned.

You were a boring, beta man. Why won't she run for the hills and tell you yada Yada reasons for breaking up?

peterphd:
You were a boring, beta man. Why won't she run for the hills and tell you yada Yada reasons for breaking up?

Boring,beta? Man all the same. Read from the beginning of the thread.I disagree with your assessment because it cheapens it all,makes me out to be a weakling.I cut her off and refused to be guilt tripped.I'm anything but weak.I'm not emotionally hurt.I took actions before I came here to seek advice.If I could make her mine,rest assured,I can do much much better than her.I know she will be back and it will be,if it does continue,on my terms.This is alpha territory,the advanced program. Donald Trump is not boring and is certainly alpha but has been divorced twice.You're an angry person who gets dumped easily.

dokwhot:
May God give me wisdom to meet and understand the next marriageable woman.The ex tried to embarass me,which I think is wickedness.To PaperLace who asked her age,I say her age shouldn't matter in goodness of her heart.A sick person needs attention no matter your age,whether you know them or not,even if you're enemies.Only a dead heart,I said callous in my initial posts,will act otherwise.When I looked at her in that moment,I saw an uncaring person who needed to be on their own.You don't beg a caring person for attention when you're sick.If I have done the same to her,even if,as a caring person,a woman for that matter,her maternal instincts should kick in in my moments of weakness.But her conscience was dead.All she could think was the high being wicked will give her.Of course,I'll never discuss this with her.Relationship is over,except she gets a new conscience,realizes she made a huge error,apologizes and is greatly patient for me to heal.But she won't do this because of gigantic ego.

Read this.Not beta stuff,not boring.

Please free her, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, from all you said, seem you have been the one trying to make things workout...please you just learn a lesson, never force or entice a woman into marriage, she may only enjoy the relationship but doesn't want to marry you for some reasons known to her, look for all what you want in a woman before even introduce her to your friends lastly, marry someone that loves you cos she will always do anything to make you happy. MARRIAGE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU PLAY WITH COS IS A LIFE TIME CONTRACT.

I'm happy as I told her to leave.It's better, she was playing god,thinking she is the most sought after commodity.Good riddance.

Ugh why are people blaming the OP?
He was sick and the girl didn't show concern. That's very bad. End of.

Why be with someone if their presence can't make you feel better?
It wouldn't have hurt her to pamper him a little when he's in that state. (Shivering and sick)

It doesn't even matter to me if they were having issues at the moment. She should have let him get better before acting out.

Jeez OP sorry my dear. Hugs.

You'll find a more loving and compassionate partner.

Thanks,cococandy.Seems you're a sweet girl.Can we connect? Seeing I'm a single man now.

dokwhot:
Thanks,cococandy.Seems you're a sweet girl.Can we connect? Seeing I'm a single man now.

lol. You moved on fast
I'm married. Thanks for the compliment.

Next girl you get, if she doesn't make you hot soup or tea and press cool towels on your forehead when you're sick( while cradling your head in her thighs) she's not worth the trouble.

I'm glad you said you did the same for your ex, it's real nice that you did that. keep it up, you'll find someone who will reciprocate that. It's important to hold others to the same standards they expect from you.

People nowadays have lost all love and compassion.

I would even take care of someone else that way much less my fiancé/husband.

cococandy:
lol. You moved on fast
I'm married. Thanks for the compliment.

Next girl you get, if she doesn't make you hot soup or tea and press cool towels on your forehead when you're sick( while cradling your head in her thighs) she's not worth the trouble.

I'm glad you said you did the same for your ex, it's real nice that you did that. keep it up, you'll find someone who will reciprocate that. It's important to hold others to the same standards they expect from you.

People nowadays have lost all love and compassion.

I would even take care of someone else that way much less my fiancé/husband.

Chai, you married so soon.