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Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 12:55pm On Oct 11, 2017
ToZaraWithaZ:
Exactly. WHY should there be a "head"? What's the point? It's pointless and meaningless.

By definition, being the "head" confers upon you the authority to make the FINAL decision - the power to have the FINAL say. You can't call yourself the head, and in the same breath lie through your teeth that you don't think your spouse should be SUBMISSIVE. Both are mutually exclusive. You're either the "head" or you're not. You can't hold unto that archaic title and still claim that you're equal. That's plain dishonesty.

Haven said that, what kind of a SICK FÜCK wants to order their spouse around? I don't quite get it. undecided
Lol, well said. grin
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by mechanics(m): 1:32pm On Oct 11, 2017
The Bible is clear, the man is always the head of the family, after all Adam was the head of Eve, God created woman from man, a woman can assist the family but that does not mean she's the head.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Jsaviour(f): 2:09pm On Oct 11, 2017
IBBG:
i think ceremonially, the man is designated the head of the home, but functionally anybody can assume that role. When there is understanding between both parties, then there will be no need to want to flex muscle to show who is the head. i think men especially should always see their wifes as their equals and not their inferior, and see the position of being the head as a shared responsibilty. which means the man is responsible to the woman and the woman is responsible to the man, nobody is superior to each other, by so doing whoever is footing the family bills will not feel cheated or feel the other party is irrelevant. As for me both man and woman are both the head. nothing less

Well said
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by eelipumpin: 2:25pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Go and know what analogy means and how it is used.
lol. smh
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by queenjuli(f): 2:33pm On Oct 11, 2017
my husband is the head of my home because society has made me believe so, and again because he is older in age and stronger. as for the breadwinner thing, if you give that poo talk because you're bringing more cash to the table, I'll give you that same poo talk when the table turns.

2 Likes

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 2:34pm On Oct 11, 2017
dane15:


I am sure that I am not the only one who does not understand you again.
It is difficult to point you to the way because you do not want to work with religion, tradition or even Science.
You are very funny. Are you saying that if you train a goat not to eat yams, it won't eat it? A thousand times No. Your biological configuration makes some things naturally easier for you. A woman can naturally multitask. She can be cooking, be attending to a baby, be writing a book and so many other things at the same time. A man cannot. Read my lips words, cannot. You can research this. They can only try.
Remove science from there because your analogy is not scientific, a goat will eat anything when extremely hungry with necessity no matter how you train the goat, just like wild animals, a lion trained not to eat flesh will eat anything flesh when not fed, lions are naturally carnivorous, humans eat raw flesh during early human era, they ate flesh with necessity, if a man is thrown to the jungle wont he act like animals if he doesn't find anything to eat?

Are there no male cook, male servant that are trained? if parents train their boys how to keep a home like they did to girls, it will suit them and be better home keeper but in Africa many parents only train the girls how to keep the home.

I agree that there may be some exceptions here and there but it does not invalidate the overall integrity of the facts that women are better home makers, men are better at logical decision making.
If boys are trained on how to keep a home, they will be better home makers.

Who goes into a war planning to lose? Even as a business man, if I have a team of male workers, I will trust the most logical guy to make decisions.Why? because he will make decisions without bias or sentiments.
Does it mean all the other people are not needed ? No! Does it make the team members lesser than the team leader? No.
You are diverting the thread goal, the topic is about a woman being the head if she is the provider. What you are saying here is personal character.

A woman providing for the family is not dumb.

It only means I am taking advantage of his strength to maximize the team's productivity. I think you are seeing it from the point of " Whoever leads is better". Which is a wrong concept of a marriage.
I have a boss (male) who writes emails with emotions. He calls me to vet, "formalize" and rearrange his emails. Does that make me his boss? No.
Just see it from that perspective. The concept of head of family is not a head and servant relationship. It is a Leader/Assistant Leader relationship.
Is this is not what i am saying? if a husband cant take responsibilities as the so called head and the wife is doing it, who is stressing the brain day and night? is it the lazy husband or the hard working wife?

Personally, i dont subscribe to the head of the home thing, it is kind of lame in a logical sense and reality.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 2:44pm On Oct 11, 2017
queenjuli:
my husband is the head of my home because society has made me believe so, and again because he is older in age and stronger. as for the breadwinner thing, if you give that poo talk because you're bringing more cash to the table, I'll give you that same poo talk when the table turns.
@bold, you were programmed to believe so, thanks for the honesty.

@NairaSand, you can see another programmed lady.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 4:09pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
That's for the ancient Jewish God, he favor men than women, the discrimination, degrading on women in the Bible is alarming, I can quote them out if you want.

Men are physically strong no doubt, but being the head of a house is a societal construct by our forefathers, but as of now the table is turning especially in the western countries, women are now doing the men's duties.

So, madam it is double standard, the discrimination against women in Africa is alarming except if you don't see that.

A wife don't cook she's bashed, not a good wife, a man don't do his responsibilities he's not bashed, he's still the head, now tell me what's the quality of being the head of a home? And please don't say it is your God, that's your belief not mine.

Does a man get upset when the wife doesn't cook because of her work, yes or no?

You need wisdom to how to talk to a spouse and make him understand and that’s what I’m saying matters
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 4:54pm On Oct 11, 2017
solasoulmusic:


You need wisdom to how to talk to a spouse and make him understand and that’s what I’m saying matters
Yes I agree with you, how many men in Africa here will tolerate a working class wife that doesn't cook?
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 4:58pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Yes I agree with you, how many men in Africa here will tolerate a working class wife that doesn't cook?

Not many to be honest I have a friend in Atlanta that doesn’t cook but will order everything and put in homemade dish it’s working for her

Her husband isn’t complaining she serves him she pretends tho but if she was in Naija I doubt she will be thrown out Your not marrying a Slave but there’s nothing wrong catering for your man I had to learn to cook when I moved to America alone
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 5:12pm On Oct 11, 2017
solasoulmusic:


Not many to be honest I have a friend in Atlanta that doesn’t cook but will order everything and put in homemade dish it’s working for her

Her husband isn’t complaining she serves him she pretends tho but if she was in Naija I doubt she will be thrown out Your not marrying a Slave but there’s nothing wrong catering for your man I had to learn to cook when I moved to America alone
Thank goodness it is Atlanta, each society all have their problems. Here in Nigeria gender discrimination is still a problem.

Now you get the logic, it is a smart move you did to learn how to Cook, is your husband Nigerian?
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 5:18pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Thank goodness it is Atlanta, each society all have their problems. Here in Nigeria gender discrimination is still a problem.

Now you get the logic, it is a smart move you did to learn how to Cook, is your husband Nigerian?
at 17 I moved into an apartment alone but here I had helpers and at first I would eat take out then one Day I just started cooking and enjoying it too


I am not married yet
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
I've responded to whoever thinks I'm a lady, well your African programmed archaic thinking will always think the person behind this post is a lady because it is strange and rare for a man to support equality.

I always time for rational debate, I love rational debate.

I'm not transgender, my diçk is real and active cheesy, this is a faceless forum so I don't expect you to believe





HEheheheheheheh grin


O ga o cheesy
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 5:52pm On Oct 11, 2017
alexialin:


HEheheheheheheh grin


O ga o cheesy
Not funny. angry
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 5:58pm On Oct 11, 2017
solasoulmusic:
at 17 I moved into an apartment alone but here I had helpers and at first I would eat take out then one Day I just started cooking and enjoying it too


I am not married yet
Thank goodness you're not here in Nigeria, enjoy your life to the fullest.

Thought you're married.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 6:08pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Thank goodness you're not here in Nigeria, enjoy your life to the fullest.

Thought you're married.
I’m sure you know where I am

When I said Here I was referring to Nigeria
Good luck with your spouse

I Don’t have to be married to contribute effectively based on experience.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Not funny. angry






Well, u amuse me with your mentality.

It's amazing cheesy
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 6:26pm On Oct 11, 2017
solasoulmusic:
I’m sure you know where I am

When I said Here I was referring to Nigeria
Good luck with your spouse
Okay.
Lol, my Future spouse.


I Don’t have to be married to contribute effectively based on experience.
Ofcos, I know.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 6:27pm On Oct 11, 2017
alexialin:


Well, u amuse me with your mentality.

It's amazing cheesy
Yeah, that's why I call myself "divergent". wink
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Nobody: 6:31pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Yeah, that's why I call myself "divergent". wink





Lol cheesy


Oh jeez!

You try

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by bukatyne(f): 7:22pm On Oct 11, 2017
What a topic!

Is a husband the head if he is not earning and the wife brings the bacon?

Yes, religiously.

It would however be very hypocritical to deny that husbands have always used their earning power to have the final say or one of the critically defining factor of a head is breadwinnership.

We always have phrases like 'who paid the bride price'; 'after I paid complete bride price' etc. referencing money.

Before wives started earning enough to make a difference, this thread would not exist.

Now we are shifting the goal post because we know tying finances to headship is very risky grin

This now brings the question i asked in a thread....

What is the role of a husband?
What is the role of a wife?

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 7:26pm On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
Okay.
Lol, my Future spouse.

Ofcos, I know.

Bless

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Joy1706(f): 8:14am On Oct 12, 2017
MrBigiman:
Off course. Giving woman money is like giving weed to an area boy. It intoxicates them.
Yet it's the men that go about screaming 'my house, my house' 'I will send you back to your father's house' 'I will send you packing'. If that's not being intoxicated, I don't know what is.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 8:33am On Oct 12, 2017
alexialin:



Lol cheesy


Oh jeez!

You try
Lol @meme grin
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 8:58am On Oct 12, 2017
bukatyne:
What a topic!

Is a husband the head if he is not earning and the wife brings the bacon?

Yes, religiously.

It would however be very hypocritical to deny that husbands have always used their earning power to have the final say or one of the critically defining factor of a head is breadwinnership.

We always have phrases like 'who paid the bride price'; 'after I paid complete bride price' etc. referencing money.

Before wives started earning enough to make a difference, this thread would not exist.

Now we are shifting the goal post because we know tying finances to headship is very risky grin

This now brings the question i asked in a thread....

What is the role of a husband?
What is the role of a wife?

Madam Bukatyne you still dey, longest time. cheesy

Anyways, the thing is the headship of a thing is lame in a logical sense and reality since is it most times tied to the breadwinner, but people of today don't have any other reason than to said it is ordained by God or society without given any factual reason for it.

The reason society placed headship on men was because men are physically strong and they go out to work and provide for the family, but today the table is turning and woman are now even doing double duties than men.

And when women are not doing thier responsibility as a good wife she's bashed but when the husband do same he's not bashed and still maintain the head of the house. Double standard.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Klinee: 7:55pm On Oct 18, 2017
Jsaviour:
Being the breadwinner doesn't make one any head or tail neither do I think there should be anything like head or tail.
A man and a woman deserve respect and love from each other. Man cordinates the home, the woman keeps the home and things move smoothly.
But when one start lording over the other or start expecting more than what he or she is giving in the home then the person needs his or her head to be thoroughly examined.

One should be contributing to the positive growth of a home before he or she can expect any responsibility from the other.

Not for someone here to say even if the man is a drunkard or whatever, he is still the head.

Is that what the religion, tradition or logical sense or whatever you believe taught you?.

Do what works for you and you are good to go
Mehn, I like your comment!!!! Any man who is not the main provider of his family is goat!! He deserves zero respect from any of his family being the wife, the kids or any other. Leave these stupid boys here that is supporting such imbecilic men, "they are worst than infidel" said the holy Bible.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Dotng: 11:19pm On Oct 20, 2017
All I see in most of the post on this topic are products of either broken homes or people who are not married but have become self made consultants on marriage. Later on, they will open another tread on why marriages don't last and flood the same thread with cries of woe. Whatever opinion you hold is not what will make your marriage successful but the proven principles that have stood the test of time. The comments on this topic reek of anger and rebellion against their parents because of what they have suffered or have been denied by society. As you lay your bed, so you will lie on it.

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