Nice evening to you all.. ever since my childhood, my parents have been insensitive of one's feelings especially mine. I'm a 25 years old lady with a nice paying job. I recently moved out of my parents house because of the stress and how insensitive they are to me. This is not a normal parents and child fallout, I have had to deal with a lot as child of theirs, they emotionally blackmail me and act like nothing is wrong, especially my mom. The recent incident that happened after I moved out was my mom calling to tell me to go and babysit my elder sister's child on a Monday morning when I'm supposed to be at work ,I knew she wanted to provoke me, so I kept my cool but her insults got my blood pressure high so I cut the call, she called back and I didn't pick, my father had to call back and accused me of all sorts of things my mom said about me. I haven't spoken to them since Monday, and they heard that I am on admission in a hospital close to them, yet no words from them,i had an attack following their provocations,and this is not the first time. if not my resemblance to them, I would have sworn being adopted.they constantly abuse me emotionally.. what can I do or what should I do to be stronger. Sad as it is, since I have not spoken to them, I feel light and at peace. Their attitude is not exclusively done to me alone but also my siblings, but mine is worst because I do everything they say. what should I do?

Hold on a sec


Is time you need to rebel a little. Change your sim card so they won't call you.

Op,dont worry,the elders would soon be here..

the elders are below.. Wait a little while please..

Same ova here ooo esp the obedience part, they will turn you into a tool

For the sake of your health, which they don't seem to care about, desist from picking their calls since they're always stressing you out. Take care of you.

Pele...start not minding them. It is that simple.

I empathize with you but some parents are like that and no changing them.

Cut off for a while and get your peace of mind and whatever contributions you normally would make to them keep doing but from a distance.

What's your relationship like with your siblings? Your elder sister who's child needed baby sitting for eg what did she have to say about the incident?

Ehya, sorry about that.

Hope you are better now?


Maybe that's their way of showing love. Try and speak to your mum about her attitude when she is in a good mood.


Call her and ask her if she did not hear you were admitted?


Don't stay away from them please. Cherish your parents as much as you can

Thank God you are independent. Change your sim card, avoid talking with them for about 3 mths to access your health condition. If your health steadily improves, ask for a transfer to another state entirely or move to another part of town. If your company doesn't have another branch, look for a job that will take you away from that vicinity.

Once you have created some distance between them, call them once a week just to check on their welfare and ignore their annoying behavior towards you. This is how you should live from now on

Good luck

Moving out was the best solution...

The next step now will be your phone. ...change your simcard..and hide your new number when contacting them... if they ask for your number, tell them u have not memorized it yet... if they pressurize u for it as time goes on, politely inform them that u will be doing the calling...that it was best that way... be polite but firm...Do not visit except u were invited... but call when u can.. do not cut them off totally... that is how u can have your sanity..

It seems that you are equally seeking for their attention... u were hospitalized yet u want them to come and pay u a visit... are u sure u really want to be free from their emotional "heart ache "

Hi and babysit when you are supposed to be at work? Very funny.

Pls OP they are your parents, no doubt but if they do not act like they care about your wellbeing, you need to care for yourself. Limit your communication with them. When they call and start the trouble, just listen and say ok. But what you will do is in your mind. No need to argue or shout with them. With time, they will take dressing.

Do you have friends? There are some friends that are closer than family. Spend time with them and try to keep being with people that you feel good with.

I don't know your parent's reasons for doing what they do but you cannot keep condoning it. You need to start calling the shots on your life. Please take charge.

We all are on a personal race in the world!!! take any action that will please you, and be responsible for it.

I dont know abt your parents but i'm more interested in your sis whose baby is to be taken care of.why couldnt she call you herself and ask for help,its called courtesy,whether younger or older everybody deserves respect

when i was to go in for induction it was difficult for me to make that reqyest but i told younger sis who had to take permission fron work for tge 3 days i was in hospital(thankfully her boss's wife was also near term and granted her permission inmediately,even kept calling while in labor and after birth),even if its an emergency she should have called you not your parents!

I respect even my 13 yr old cousin living with me and it makes him perform at optimum.

Na real wa

ireneblush they want you to go baby sit for the man that nearly raped you? are they offering you to him like burnt offering?

At 25, they expect you not to go to work but to babysit your elder sister’s baby. Very funny.

Why didn’t your sister call you herself to ask if she desperately needed the favour?

Irene, it will be better for you if you moved to another state, if you can.

Pearl05:
Hold on a sec


Is time you need to rebel a little. Change your sim card so they won't call you.

i can't do that because of my job

Gluhbirne:
For the sake of your health, which they don't seem to care about, desist from picking their calls since they're always stressing you out. Take care of you.

thanks

ireneblush:
i can't do that because of my job

Blacklist them for abt 3 months

thanks to you all that took out time to advice Me. I don't know why my sister couldn't call herself, but she's not in support of my mom. she didn't even want to call me as there was no emergency. she also couldn't speak to my mom because she's avoiding her trouble. I can't change my SIM because of the nature of my job. Relocating is not easy and totally not possible for me until at least after two years. And for those advising me to talk to my mom, you can't even have a normal conversation with her without problems arising. I don't even intend to call them anytime soon,because I'm enjoying some sort of peace these past days. Thanks buddies, much love.

Blonchilli:
ireneblush they want you to go baby sit for the man that nearly raped you? are they offering you to him like burnt offering?

hahaha lol.the one you are talking of isn't due yet.

ireneblush:
hahaha lol.the one you are talking of isn't due yet.

Thought they were married already. Always remember it's you first

LadySarah:
I dont know abt your parents but i'm more interested in your sis whose baby is to be taken care of.why couldnt she call you herself and ask for help,its called courtesy,whether younger or older everybody deserves respect

when i was to go in for induction it was difficult for me to make that reqyest but i told younger sis who had to take permission fron work for tge 3 days i was in hospital(thankfully her boss's wife was also near term and granted her permission inmediately,even kept calling while in labor and after birth),even if its an emergency she should have called you not your parents!

I respect even my 13 yr old cousin living with me and it makes him perform at optimum.

@bolded.
Perform what at optimum?

ireneblush:
Nice evening to you all.. ever since my childhood, my parents have been insensitive of one's feelings especially mine. I'm a 25 years old lady with a nice paying job. I recently moved out of my parents house because of the stress and how insensitive they are to me. This is not a normal parents and child fallout, I have had to deal with a lot as child of theirs, they emotionally blackmail me and act like nothing is wrong, especially my mom. The recent incident that happened after I moved out was my mom calling to tell me to go and babysit my elder sister's child on a Monday morning when I'm supposed to be at work ,I knew she wanted to provoke me, so I kept my cool but her insults got my blood pressure high so I cut the call, she called back and I didn't pick, my father had to call back and accused me of all sorts of things my mom said about me. I haven't spoken to them since Monday, and they heard that I am on admission in a hospital close to them, yet no words from them,i had an attack following their provocations,and this is not the first time. if not my resemblance to them, I would have sworn being adopted.they constantly abuse me emotionally.. what can I do or what should I do to be stronger. Sad as it is, since I have not spoken to them, I feel light and at peace. Their attitude is not exclusively done to me alone but also my siblings, but mine is worst because I do everything they say. what should I do?

I hope things are okay between you and your parents. Parents are almost the same everywhere - they expect their “investment” to pay obeisance to them. My dad can be a bit frustrating; however, he knows I would not pick up his phone calls during the week or reply his text messages during work days except when he sends a “stinker”. I call him on my own terms and text him if I like.

I think your “fault” lies in the bolded sentence up there - but mine is worst because I do everything they say. Irene don’t be mad at me if I said that you don’t have an identity. I wish I could explain in a few letters what I mean. However, what I mean are these:
1. You seek people’s opinion for nearly everything.
2. You are predictable. Deep down, you don’t trust yourself.
3. You are defined by the relationship(s) you have.
4. You don’t have true friends. Perhaps, you usually have them but you don’t keep them for long.

I hope I am wrong. If what I have identified are true, they aren’t your fault but the effect of the “control mechanism” your parents have “steam rolled” over you. You are older now and can control most of things that happen to you now. Socialize, try new things and get consumed in things that would make you “unreachable” until you have your true identity.

Stay safe wherever you are.