Boarding school is a jungle. I mean real Tarzan stuff, swinging through vines and trying to dodge the snakes and gorrilas who appear in the form of your teachers, housemasters and all the other low key depressed people who jerk off to seeing you steer through some difficult time. Let’s not even talk about the seniors students  who for no reason just decided to become a gathering of “A holes”.

In retrospect, it all seems like an amusing version of temple run. There is no way you go through boarding school without it leaving footprints in your lifestyle. I mean it prepares your naive self for the outside world which of course is a really shitty place .





1. The truth does not set you free(most times)



I have grown up hearing people especially adults say that the truth will set you free and blah blah blah this I learnt to be the biggest lie. You can’t open up and expect a hug and feast like the prodigal son did. If you don’t at least get a beating from whoever lured you to be truthful,you’ll sure lose their trust. I am not trying to turn you away from your moral standards. The consequences of telling the truth and lying are sometimes almost equal. How does this help you? Some might argue there’s no such thing as a good lie, but sometimes you make someone feel good or protect their interest by telling a lie. Funny example is how you might have told someone she looks really good today, and f**k it you made her day.



2. Forks and spoons is just fancy form of your hands but less useful



Why do we even try so hard to display some sort of sophistication, trying so hard to figure whether the fork is meant to be on your left hand or the right, like how do you even eat a chicken. I go for events where everyone is frantically calculating how to properly cut the chicken into bits with their fork and knives without slipping off their plates instead of enjoying the damn chicken. Why don’t we be real instead of trying to fulfill some stifling etiquette.

3. Snitches get stitches

This happens to be unwritten law in a good number of places, however some of us  found out the hard way, which goes to show how unreliable protection from higher authority could be. A lot of people are oppressed and are unable to voice out because they are scared straight. The principal isn’t going to protect you everyday from that weird guy who beats the shit outta you, and even if he gets expelled you’re bush meat to his other bully friends. But hey, sometimes you have to take down somebody who makes you feel like crap, and when you go down with that piece of shit make sure you look damn good like this war boy from mad max.





4. How to bathe with a quarter bucket of water



It may sound funny, but this skill alone is equal to a 4 year management degree course in some universities, business executives have a tough job, trying so hard to combine several factors to make profit, tough decisions have to be made and you have unrealistic goals to magically come up with ideas to attain, same sort of stuff you face in boarding school, over time to figure out how to improvise, i’ve heard about people who bathed with washing powder. But who cares, they still bathed.

sauceandsound
https://www.sauceandsound.com/2017/11/29/4-odd-lessons-i-learnt-from-boarding-school-the-truth-wont-set-you-free/

It's part of what it takes to graduate from the "School of Hard-knocks"
For some of us who missed-out from the 'boarding house n dormitory experience', we made do with the daily wahala of seniors in Government Secondary Schools.
If you attended a Govt. Sec. School in the late 90's you'll understand better!

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Lol

I concur