eph12:
The man is still a married man. He has not cut ties with his wife yet.

I think it's biblical to divorce and remarry if a partner commits adultery

godfatherx:
He has been nursing a relationship with you even when he was with his wife! He is a cheat!!
My 1 cent.
Just out of curiosity, find out from the wife why she left him. You'll be shocked he's a terrible person.

Hiswordxray:
Do not intervene the problem is between the man and his wife. He married her and he must bear the burden. She is one with him and she would remain one with him until she is joined to another man (remarried). Based on what you narrated I don't think she had been married to another, therefore she is still married to this pastor.

Let me quote Paul on marriage;
"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." (1Cor 7:10-11).

Even if she leaves her husband the man must not put her away until she is married to another man. Be careful siste, do not fall to this deception. The man saw the woman and yet married her, now he is looking to marry another person. Let him bear his affliction, God would comfort him.

Kereokwu:
Yes, I think so too but how do I contact the wife and at least clear myself without creating a scene. Thanks dear.

Kereokwu:
Thanks, I don't think the woman committed adultery, she just left her matrimonial home.

Kereokwu:
Yes, I think so too but how do I contact the wife and at least clear myself without creating a scene. Thanks dear.

petra1:


You don’t need to contact the wife . Let them sort themselves out . If they want to divorce they should limit it between themselves .

Secondly you don’t have anything to clear . She didn’t accuse or confront you . Wife and husband can say harsh words or accusations . You calling her will only give impression of guilt and inflate fire .

eph12:

She should be investigated. She's probably just that u guys don't know

godfatherx:


"small world" they say, you can always find someone who knows someone who knows her, but I'll advice you stay away from this pastor guy completely.

Kereokwu:
Thanks, the pastor said that the woman is innocent but moved out. I think the pastor might be the bad person here, he certainly not saying the truth.

Topgainer:
It is good to hear there are ladies who still have some active conscience. The mistake a lot of people make is to give unnecessary attention to every Tom and Dick that goes with the appendage of a Pastor. Some of them pretend to be good and use all kinds of catch words to woe the feeble into submission to all manipulative acts. The mere fact that he walked up to you with a text message from his wife accusing you both of dating means he is a manipulator. A man whose motive is clear will dismiss the allegations and be able to clear it with his wife, not you. He already knew the effect the text message will have on you before dashing to your office with it.
If you have been patient regarding premarital rendezvous, then be patient to the end. You shouldn't be enticed by a tokunbo man much less a pastor who is still legally married to his wife. Except maybe you hope to see him as a CEO of a Church Cooperation in future and to see yourself as Mama GO with lots of servants and sycophantic slaves around you.
If you must be a second it shouldn't be to a Pastor or a man occupying leadership position in a Church. Church Leaders should be husbands of one wife (if they must marry) or they resign from such positions, that is an age long church tradition and time tested.
Cut that relationship off, COMPLETELY. You can't be a second wife to a Pastor. You shouldn't be desperate, if you are really good be rest assured many eligible guys are on your trail.
If he so desires as a pastor to marry a new wife contrary to the Bible, he should pick among the Mgbekes in his Church Choir or from the desperados in his Church who wouldn't mind aiding him to murder his wife. Afterall, in the PFN Prophet Oritsejafor, Pastor Chris Okotie, Bishop Chris Kwakpovwe (ODM), and so many of them acquired new wives at the instance of disagreements with their first wives.

Topgainer:
It is good to hear there are ladies who still have some active conscience. The mistake a lot of people make is to give unnecessary attention to every Tom and Dick that goes with the appendage of a Pastor. Some of them pretend to be good and use all kinds of catch words to woe the feeble into submission to all manipulative acts. The mere fact that he walked up to you with a text message from his wife accusing you both of dating means he is a manipulator. A man whose motive is clear will dismiss the allegations and be able to clear it with his wife, not you. He already knew the effect the text message will have on you before dashing to your office with it.
If you have been patient regarding premarital rendezvous, then be patient to the end. You shouldn't be enticed by a tokunbo man much less a pastor who is still legally married to his wife. Except maybe you hope to see him as a CEO of a Church Cooperation in future and to see yourself as Mama GO with lots of servants and sycophantic slaves around you.
If you must be a second it shouldn't be to a Pastor or a man occupying leadership position in a Church. Church Leaders should be husbands of one wife (if they must marry) or they resign from such positions, that is an age long church tradition and time tested.
Cut that relationship off, COMPLETELY. You can't be a second wife to a Pastor. You shouldn't be desperate, if you are really good be rest assured many eligible guys are on your trail.
If he so desires as a pastor to marry a new wife contrary to the Bible, he should pick among the Mgbekes in his Church Choir or from the desperados in his Church who wouldn't mind aiding him to murder his wife. Afterall, in the PFN Prophet Oritsejafor, Pastor Chris Okotie, Bishop Chris Kwakpovwe (ODM), and so many of them acquired new wives at the instance of disagreements with their first wives.

Kereokwu:
Thanks dear, I am grateful that in this crazy world we still have those who are upholding Gods standard.
Please there is a new twist to the issue. The cousin came yesterday(maybe because I cut ties with him) and explained that
1. They were not properly married(no court wedding, no church, traditionally not properly done)
2. The wife moved(packed her things) out more than a year ago and she has refused every plea to come back.
3. During the period of the marriage no child.
He then asked me, if the pastor was my uncle what will I advise him to do?

Your advice is very simple. They should go and complete whatever is incomplete about their traditional wedding, and as a Pastor he should lead by example by taking his wife to the altar, in this case marriage blessings. Shameful, isn't it? What sort of a pastor moves in to live with a woman with no church wedding in view. I can assure you, the issue there is not even about finance, because he could easily get a fellow pastor to join him and the wife soon after traditional wedding, a few bottles of coke and gala after Church to the guests ends that. And that solves the moral question.

There is nothing like a traditional not done properly, these days, it is rare to fulfill all the cultural requirements of a trad. Among the tribes in Rivers State, the Ogonis and the Ikweres for e.g. the representatives of the families, the tokens- a reflection of the listed items and a few guests gathered for 1 or 2 hours on any day of the week, with prayers and goodwishes from the familes could serve as a traditional wedding. Now, this does not in anyway belittle the trad or make it 'not proper' because within the same culture they may decide to set hurdles for another set of couples with elaborate cultural requirements and a Saturday- long affair. You may want to ask what defines a Proper Traditional Wedding for Pastor who took his wife home after the 'improper one' and they have been living as husbands and wife with streams of disagreement all these while?

The Lady is question is his wife and will it surprise you to know that despite the so called traditional wedding not done properly that his Holiness the Pastor lived with the woman not as girlfriend, concubine, not as sister Mary and brother James but as husband and wife with all the full conjugal meetings. The issue of not having a child while they have lived together for donkey years, known to both families as married, is immaterial and really adds nothing to the sudden effort by the Pastor to discredit his marriage and loop you in. What were they all these while they lived together? Brothers and Sisters of the same parents.
I can see you are giving much time and consideration to this Pastor and his stories.
Assuming, you were my younger sister, such marriage will go on without my approval if not for anything, the fact that he is a 'pastor' with all these Shadows. I can assure you the story will not be different when you settle with him. Maybe, because you are a working class lady, the economic story like the measure of comfort in the new union will be better than with his former wife. Do you really want to be married to a 'Pastor' especially of the stock you just described?
If you are below 40, I will strongly advise you exercise a little more patience. Above 40, some may advise you go in have one or two kids as biological clock tics ( but it is dicey against the background that his wife has not been able to conceive) in that case tradition demands (Igbo culture or subculture), the wife's family will return the bride price and the pot- a sign that they do not consider him their in law; his own family will accept the visitors and wish them well. And my sister, you should have somebody witness that event.

od4life:

My friend stop that lie about Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor disagreeing with his first wife & marrying a new wife. Ayo Oritsejafor's late wife died around 1997/1998 & upon her death he now married his present wife Helen.

Topgainer:

Your advice is very simple. They should go and complete whatever is incomplete about their traditional wedding, and as a Pastor he should lead by example by taking his wife to the altar, in this case marriage blessings. Shameful, isn't it? What sort of a pastor moves in to live with a woman with no church wedding in view. I can assure you, the issue there is not even about finance, because he could easily get a fellow pastor to join him and the wife soon after traditional wedding, a few bottles of coke and gala after Church to the guests ends that. And that solves the moral question.

There is nothing like a traditional not done properly, these days, it is rare to fulfill all the cultural requirements of a trad. Among the tribes in Rivers State, the Ogonis and the Ikweres for e.g. the representatives of the families, the tokens- a reflection of the listed items and a few guests gathered for 1 or 2 hours on any day of the week, with prayers and goodwishes from the familes could serve as a traditional wedding. Now, this does not in anyway belittle the trad or make it 'not proper' because within the same culture they may decide to set hurdles for another set of couples with elaborate cultural requirements and a Saturday- long affair. You may want to ask what defines a Proper Traditional Wedding for Pastor who took his wife home after the 'improper one' and they have been living as husbands and wife with streams of disagreement all these while?

The Lady is question is his wife and will it surprise you to know that despite the so called traditional wedding not done properly that his Holiness the Pastor lived with the woman not as girlfriend, concubine, not as sister Mary and brother James but as husband and wife with all the full conjugal meetings. The issue of not having a child while they have lived together for donkey years, known to both families as married, is immaterial and really adds nothing to the sudden effort by the Pastor to discredit his marriage and loop you in. What were they all these while they lived together? Brothers and Sisters of the same parents.
I can see you are giving much time and consideration to this Pastor and his stories.
Assuming, you were my younger sister, such marriage will go on without my approval if not for anything, the fact that he is a 'pastor' with all these Shadows. I can assure you the story will not be different when you settle with him. Maybe, because you are a working class lady, the economic story like the measure of comfort in the new union will be better than with his former wife. Do you really want to be married to a 'Pastor' especially of the stock you just described?
If you are below 40, I will strongly advise you exercise a little more patience. Above 40, some may advise you go in have one or two kids as biological clock tics ( but it is dicey against the background that his wife has not been able to conceive) in that case tradition demands (Igbo culture or subculture), the wife's family will return the bride price and the pot- a sign that they do not consider him their in law; his own family will accept the visitors and wish them well. And my sister, you should have somebody witness that event.