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6 Tips To Help Lower Your Gaze by olaztek(m): 5:08pm On Feb 01, 2018
“Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of
their vision and guard their private parts.
That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is
Acquainted with what they do. And tell the
believing women to reduce [some] of their
vision and guard their private
parts…” [ Qur’an: Chapter 24, Verses
30-31 ].

Not only does the Qur’an make a
connection between the gaze and sexual
desires, it does so explicitly by specifying
the physical area of the body associated
with sexual desires: the private parts. The
explicit nature of the verse should catch
our attention. It should also make us
realize the seriousness of the issue,
considering that the ultimate sin of the
private parts is zina (fornication).

It is incredible to realize that something as
serious as zina can start from something
as simple as a gaze! The path to zina can
be short or long. For some, Shaytan may
slowly whisper for years and years before
the individual falls into the trap of zina.
Shaytan is relentless and he is patient.
Whatever small opportunity he sees, he
will take it, as long as it leads us closer
to zina.

The danger is that we might be oblivious
to all the more reason why we should
cultivate the awareness of Allah in
ourselves. Those who are most aware of
Allah (those who have more taqwa)
are those who are hardest for Shaytan to
lead astray. And in this context, it makes
perfect sense that more taqwa leads to
the protection from Shaytan. This is the
reason why Allah prohibits not only
zina itself, but anything that leads to it,
as He says:

“And do not approach unlawful sexual
intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality
and is evil as a way” [ Qur’an: Chapter 17,
Verse 32 ].

We have all heard that “prevention is
better than cure”, and preventing zina
starts from lowering the gaze. So, how
can we fulfill this command?

1. Find Good Friends

As much as we are autonomous and in
control, we cannot deny the power of the
environment we are in. We are all directly
or indirectly influenced (in a good way or
bad way) by the people we hang out with.
They shape a large part of who we are. If
you want to know who you are, look at the
people whom you spend most of your
time with. We must be wise in choosing
our friends. If we choose friends who are
guarding their gaze, In sha Allah we will
follow their footsteps. Good friends help
each other in the struggle to lower the
gaze by reminding each other when one
forgets and succumbs to the gaze. Even
being in the presence of people who lower
their gaze is a form of reminder in and of
itself. Allah’s Messenger said:

“The example of a good companion in
comparison with a bad one, is like that of the
musk seller and the blacksmith’s furnace;
from the first you would either buy mush or
enjoy its good smell while the furnace would
either burn your clothes or your house, or
you get a bad nasty smell
thereof.” [Bukhari ]

Therefore, it is essential to surround
yourself with friends who are unlike the
obviously lustful and those who make
quick comments on the appearance or
attractiveness of the opposite gender. If
you notice the people around you
behaving as such, either remind them to
lower their gaze, or surround yourself with
those who do so and whose presence are
constant reminders of Allah and His
Messenger .

2. Carry a Book

This one is a personal tip from me.
Sometimes I find myself in situations, for
example when waiting for a bus, where my
eyes tend to wander. To avoid that, I try
to always carry a book with me. Whenever
I am in such a situation, I take out my
book and read. It is a good way to spend
time and learn something. Reading off
your phone or e-book reader is a good
substitute as well.

3. Fight the Second Gaze

At times we find ourselves unintentionally
looking at something we should not look
at. For example, while we are walking in a
mall, we might come upon an
inappropriate sight. In such a situation,
we should avert our gaze immediately and
actively fight to avoid looking at it again
(as tempting as it might be). We will not
be held accountable for the first
unintentional gaze, In sha Allah.

Ideally, we should strive to avoid the first
gaze but that is not always under our
control and is not always practical. But
what we can do is try and avoid going to
places where there will be sights we
should not see, if we are able to. For
example, if there is no need to go to the
mall, it is best to avoid going there in the
first place.

However, there are instances where that is
impractical, like being in a workplace with
non-Muslims , for example. Some of them
might be wearing clothes that are not
particularly modest. You cannot avoid the
place you work in. So, what do you do? In
such a situation, we should avoid their
unnecessary company whenever possible
(e.g. during lunch breaks).

A place where avoiding the second gaze is
very challenging is the internet. Even
when we surf through innocent parts of
the web, we are never entirely free from
inappropriate images, for example, in pop-
up ads or banner ads. Alhamdulillah, there
are ways to go around it like installing an
adblocker on our browsers. However,
cutting out unnecessary and time-wasting
web pages is essential.

4. Get Married

One a related note, the Prophet
recommended two sure-fire solutions for
fighting the urge to look again: marriage
for those who can afford it, and fasting for
those who cannot.

He said: “O young men, whoever
among you can afford it, let him get married,
for it is more effective in lowering the gaze
and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever
cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a
shield for him.” [An-Nasai ]

Without a doubt, being married protects
you from fulfilling your natural desires in
unlawful ways as you have a spouse
whose company and comfort you can
enjoy day and night. As for those whose
circumstances do not permit them to
commit to marriage yet (such as financial
reasons, bad temper, or those who are not
mentally fully committed to all aspects of
marriage), fasting gives them time to
build themselves up, and particularly
helps diminish their sexual urge and their
inclination to look at what is unlawful.

On the other hand, if one is already
married yet having trouble with their
wandering gaze, they should make some
time in their day to bond more with their
spouse. Discuss what pleases you/them
and what else you/they can do to be more
attractive and pleasing, such as smelling
good, wearing nice clothing, giving proper
attention, listening, conversing etc. Also,
if you wear glasses/contact lenses and
are not incredibly vision-impaired, keep
them off whenever you can and your
spouse will appear more beautiful to you
and other people less relevant.

5. Remember Allah

When our parents are around, would we
feast our eyes on things we should not
see (out of shame and respect for them)?
Hopefully we would not. Of course, they
are not with us all the time. However,
Allah is. We should be more
ashamed and more respectful towards
Allah than we are towards our
parents. Constantly remind yourself that
Allah is All-Aware of every gaze,
every glimpse, and every peek we take.
Making it a habit to constantly remember
Allah’s presence will help us be
careful about our every move, including
the movements of our eyes. Most
importantly, the reward for constantly
remembering Allah and trying our
best to avoid shameful deeds is nothing
but Paradise, as Allah says:

“But as for he who feared the position of his
Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful]
inclination, Then indeed, Paradise will be
[his] refuge” [ Qur’an: Chapter 79, Verses
40-41 ].

By creating a habit of constant dhikr
throughout the day it can help you trigger
the thoughts of your Creator, in front of
whom you should have utmost humility.

6. Ask Allah for Help

Lowering the gaze is not easy. It is a
constant struggle, especially if we are in a
society where inappropriate sights are
almost everywhere. No matter where we
look, it is there. It goes without saying
that we will slip up once in a while.
However, know that Allah ’s Mercy is
bigger than our sins. Therefore, as long
as we are still breathing, we should
always be in a state of asking for Allah
’s forgiveness and help . Since
lowering the gaze is not an easy thing to do,
we need all the help that we can get. What
better help to have than Allah ’s Help?
Ask Him and ask abundantly!

In an effort to avoid committing the same
sin repeatedly, we should pinpoint the
source of the sin and cut it at the source.
For example, if we find that we are more
likely to indulge in corrupting our gaze
when we are with certain friends, then it
might be a good idea to distance
ourselves from those friends.

We are not alone in our struggle and we
are in need of help, so we should build a
positive and healthy support system for
ourselves. Surrounding ourselves with
good company and frequenting spiritually
rejuvenating gatherings and places like
the masjid and iman-building courses and
conferences boost our remembrance and
awareness of Allah .

I ask Allah to give us the strength to
lower our gaze, to protect us from
inappropriate sights, and to purify our eyes
so that they may be crystal clear when we
set our ultimate gaze at the most beautiful
sight of all, His Face . Ameen.

What other tips or words of advice can you
offer to someone who is struggling with
lowering their gaze? Please share your
thoughts below!I

Source : productiveMuslim.com

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