Mr and Mrs Jones
One day Mrs. Jones went to
have a talk with the minister at
the local church. "Reverend,"
she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep
during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I
do?"
"I have an idea," said the
minister. "Take this hatpin with
you. I will be able to tell when
Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times.
When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday,
Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to
work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he
said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife
jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones,"
said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again,
the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the
congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he
was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister,
smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones
again winked off. However, this
time the minister did not notice.
As he picked up the tempo of his
sermon, he made a few motions
that Mrs. Jones mistook as
signals to bayonet her husband
with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what
did Eve say to Adam after she
bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband,
who yelled, "You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more
time and I'll break it in half and
shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the
congregation