I gara luo Nwa ya na NNE ya wu Enyi? they don't always make good wife no matter what. I don't even think u can break such bond. that was what chased my brother from marrying his best friend till today.the girl was so,so attached to her mum.

Dude keep your marital life out of social media...even peeps without gf or lived-in partner will be spilling thrash.

Man up and handle your affair privately, your not the first with marital challenges...

Besides your story is one-sided...

Gloriagee:
Dude, ko ye mi. Why on earth does ur MIL need to tell u she's going to see ur mum for? Can't ur mum give u that update? So someone must announce a good deed before doing that.

You are making a good deed seem like a disfavor. You guys were bereaved n she went to commiserate with ur mum, u dey vex. What's her crime?

I am surprised too. From the story I don't see what the women (both his wife and MIL did wrong). The guy is probably a problematic person who feels he should be treated as the Lord and mighty. He came to tell us his wife did nasty things, is he all that innocent? What led to the nasty thing she did? What role did he play? Even if she did something wrong, why can't it be resolved without pastor being involved. The pastor is obviously going to heap the blame on the woman and tell her she isn't submissive enough. A lot of Nairaland guys are quick to come online and tell stories that makes their wives look evil and paint themselves as saints solely because they know a lot of guys who have patriarchy deeply rooted in their DNA would speak in their favour. Very sickening! Tueh!

kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES

Oga did i just read your wife threatened you with divorce pls bear with me for asking am having eye problem

If that's the true!

Oga pls divorce that daughter of jezebel systematically

Like taking your kids from her and leave her to do as she pleases
If she or her tricky mum calls you tell her that your done with the marriage

Hope no court marriage is involved see ooooooo!

Man will turn to woman in his house

Come no vex

Is it you that paid the bride price?

Next time you hear that shìt pls slap it outta her mouth

kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES

Your mother in law is an adult I don't think she needs your permission to visit your family or go to any family event.

secondly, stop making are more relevant than she is in your home, its a recipe for disaster.

amakadihot87:
..........i bu ekwensu........keep leading people astray..........agent of darkness

See who is talking. Your profile picture and and your personal text can also lead people astray. Onye ekwensu

How about our institution bring a fresh course ''Marital and home affairs 101''

A lot of people need hands out on how to control their home.


Op, Let them undermine you, You're good as long as you don't undermine yourself..

Be straight with what you want, because it's your home..And if both of them won't comply with your decision and how you want things to be, then cut the sh1t off..

Fam, if you're not strong enough, don't go into marriage.

I'm tired of seeing a lot of y'll opening new acct just to seek for advice.

When you were kneeling down in the street, begging her to marry you, you remember nairaland?

Society, please stop pushing these kids.

If you're 40 and single and living peacefully, you're alright...don't let nobody fool you

Only get married when you know you ready

Marriage is politics..so Op, pls STEP UP your game!

Bring in a female friend claim she's a business partner or colleague and have some drinks, later on invite her guy to join two of you the drive out all three together without your wife, then keep late or don't comeback for the weekend, then see what ur wife has to say, your story will be that u had to travel, it was urgent, if she acts up call for a family meeting, that's what will put ur wife in check, u should always be in control or an unbalanced woman will ruin ur home, do something to bring her to salinity

Those commenters that said visiting your mum without informing you isn't an issue do not understand basic family etiquette. The man is the eye of his extended family while the wife is the eye of hers, you should contact him before making a move. Him not knowing about your move is undermining the person of the man which is not right.

Bro,..there are two ways to handle issues,..either you go looking for solutions to restructure it or you look for a solution to destroy it,...I will a advice for restructuring,..call your MIL that you will like to see her for a family meeting,..then sit her down and your wife and narrate what you just said over here,..then As the chairman of the meeting throw out these solutions I mentioned up there and ask them which one to choose,...that will make you a man you are rather than causing wars or beating up somebody,..it makes you more of a weakling that I believe you don't want to be,...

weak men should not be allowed to procreate ..

Guys should be very careful who they get married to, cos most time u are not getting married to anything different from the mother -in-law. So b4 u get married watch d mother -in- law very well

NwaAmaikpe:



I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.

U have a special seat in homeboys hell fire

kapelvej:
My brother, you are right, thank you very much, truth is that, she has all these characters during our dating, but you know all these pastors with their forgive, forgive and forgive. I even called off the marriage twice,but elders in Church intervened, but the whole matter don get k leg now

Guy stand your ground ...there is always a way out of every Kleg matter...some women require very tough sanctions to fall in line....

Never engage her in an anguement except its for sport, if in the process of tryn to communicate she enters ranting mode..take yourself far away from that toxic behaviour and go have fun with your guys....come home late(9pm) , and when you do locate guest room for your peaceful sleep .

2.avoid topics that involves her mum cos most women will never take sides wif ya against their folks even when the folks Bleep up and its glaring. If it were me I would put a call across or waited to see the MIL to ask in the most polite manner about her trip to the member of my familys house she visited ..and after she has enjoyed narrating to me like person wen come from jand then u go tell am not to visit without informing you next time, even if she turns it into an argeuement stand there and not argue and when she done tryn to justify her actions and u get a chance to speak,reiterate you last stament of her not repeating her saction ,all this wif a very calm voice and walk away till u fade out of sight...if she calls any body to report at that point she wil be blamed.

For wify..cut all the treat wen u dey arrange am before if she ask tell her things have changed since she decided to maintain her behavour without improvement...and if she dey threaten you wif divorce...try surprise her wif live document make she sign

But I have to ask what do u have to lose if it comes down to a divorce?

kapelvej:
My brother, you are right, thank you very much, truth is that, she has all these characters during our dating, but you know all these pastors with their forgive, forgive and forgive. I even called off the marriage twice,but elders in Church intervened, but the whole matter don get k leg now

You need to let your wife know there can only be one head in the house. Put her in line.

Get out of that marriage very fast!!!!!Especially if your claim that your wife threatened you with divorce.Something is wrong somewhere.You are a man ,you will always find someone else.You dont want to spend your entire life on this earth in misery.

kapelvej:
you are right, I have forgiven so many things in the past, and they are all hunting me now. I think they see me as weak. But I will through a surprise soon

Why is it that ur wife always threatened u with divorce I don't get it.

1. Is there still any love between u 2? If not u shud ask why? Wat kind of relationship do both of u have? Cat and mouse? Tom and Jerry?

2. Women shud respect their husbands. If she is rude was that how she was wen u dated and got married? If No wat happened along the line. Correct it and stand u ground when necessary.

3. Try to talk with ur wife and understand her 1st b4 u correct her. It takes 2 to tango. If she's sensible she will reason. If not go back to 2.

4. Do not let major issues slide. Deal with it either wen fresh and wen settled abit bt u must address it accordingly. U don't hv to address every issue cos dat wud be nagging.

5. Work on ur relationship with ur wife personally. Her mothers influence is as a result of ur poor relationship with ur wife I think. Unless she's been this way and u still chose to marry her.

Op, please are you married to your wife or your MIL because I don't understand how you are dragging the woman as if she is your mate?

By my assessment, without even requesting for the other side of the story, my stand is that you are guilty. By the the time I'll hear the other side of the story, my judgment will be, go and check your ways, get where u r getting it wrong and grow up. There is no way ur mother in law will attend such occasion if she doesn't like you.
MW, I ll like to know if u r on drug... If yes, try as much to stop it, if no, then, you have an unknown problem.

kapelvej:
My brother, you are right, thank you very much, truth is that, she has all these characters during our dating, but you know all these pastors with their forgive, forgive and forgive. I even called off the marriage twice,but elders in Church intervened, but the whole matter don get k leg now

both of you attend the same church

kapelvej:
Thanks for your response, but if you read the story again you will see where the problem lies, if we lost someone, I should be the one she should start with, not jumping to see my mum without commiserating with me.And kindly see the part where I said she has been avoiding contact with me because of her trying to manipulate me through her pastor.

It's still not a crime. Or would you have preferred she didn't go at all at all? I'm sorry but weak men like you disgust me. How can you let pastor dictate your life? Who's suffering it now? Shey the pastor is helping you to carry some of the headache? Sigh

kapelvej:
Hello all

I am not new to nairaland, this is just a new account.
I am more than fed up with my mother in law and my wife, I think they are undermining me. Recently my mother in law went to visit my mum who was in another state with my eldest brother because we lost someone in the family, she spent a night there, she never told me before going, even while there, she never told me she was there, she came back almost 4 days now, she still did not tell me. Although my brother told me the day she came.

She also told my wife- her daughter about the journey, but this was only when she arrived. My wife told me about the journey, and I asked my wife why did her mother do that, she said her mother was of the opinion that if she tells any of us, we may not allow her to go. I try to tell my wife that it even makes it worse, she flared up and started getting angry and saying different things. I was not surprised because she always quarrels anytime I try to express my feelings over issues like that.

Now the big story is that before now, in the past 18 months my mother in law has been avoiding my calls, reason being that my wife did some nasty things, she heard of it, she was not sure of the action I would take, she told her pastor to call me, I got talking with the pastor, the pastor was trying his best to resolve the issue, at a time my mother in law wanted to manipulate the pastor against me, the man stood his ground- God bless him. My mother-in-law so scared the pastor will tell me about the manipulation she wanted to carry out started avoiding me and the pastor till now. we only spoke on those three occasions because they were Easter, Christmas and New year. I am already thinking of telling my wife to go and marry her mum because they are the same thing.

I am seriously thinking of making a huge trouble out of this to drive home the point that I am not as weak as both of them think. Especially for a woman that keeps threatening me with divorce and insults me at will, and a crafty mother in law who is only interested in herself and her daughter...

PLEASE I NEED YOUR KIND RESPONSES

From what I deduced in your write up : you are not weak rather your pocket is or that you are hiding your financial ability from your wife. Try and build trust with your wife first.

mrsfavour:
I gara luo Nwa ya na NNE ya wu Enyi? they don't always make good wife no matter what. I don't even think u can break such bond. that was what chased my brother from marrying his best friend till today.the girl was so,so attached to her mum.

Madam, what exactly are you saying? Did you read that guy's rant at all. Are you saying the mother and daughter should separate because the daughter is married to a man? Who is he that the MIL would tell him every movement of hers. How many times has he questioned his own mother? Nke a bukwa mmadu ino n' ulo nopia kpuru amu ya.

NwaAmaikpe:



I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.

my guy I hail you bro

Purehuman:
Those commenters that said visiting your mum without informing you isn't an issue do not understand basic family etiquette. The man is the eye of his extended family while the wife is the eye of hers, you should contact him before making a move. Him not knowing about your move is undermining the person of the man which is not right.

Oh reallly

What won't I read on nairaland.

So his MIL needs to take his permission/ inform him before visiting his own bereaved mother . Is his MIL his wife? I thought marriage brings two families together.

If he's feeling undermined or uneasy that his mother inlaw visited his mum without informing him then the OP has a problem.

I felt the op was petty when I read his initial post, reading his later posts where he said he should be the one the MIL should start commiserating with him not his mother confirmed my suspicion.

Someone that can make an issue out of this will make issues out of other things and call them 'nasty things'.

NwaAmaikpe:



I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.

NwaAmaikpe:



I wish you could say the nasty things your wife did; that way my advice will be well-informed.

But the problem here is a strong bond between your wife and her mother.
Your mom has an unfathomable influence over your wife.
It's so strong that she will confide in her mom and plan with her without your knowledge. This could be detrimental to you and your position as head of the family.

But there's a solution.
Seduce your mother in-law, make her fall in love with you. Ravish her, make her feel like the only woman in the world, make her yearn for you.
Most importantly, try and bed her.

Consider this a dirty task you must do to recover your manhood.
That way her loyalty will change, she will see her daughter as a competitor and not an ally.

She will also know she has an unsavoury secret with you and will be more om your side than against you.

That way she would have lost complete influence over your wife.
Good luck with this.

oya na...gbogbo awon tom cruise...
#MISSION IMPOSSIBLE..

I actually saw nothing wrong that this OP is making a scene of.

Your in-laws do not need your permissions to meet and the love between a mother and a daughter can not be equated to your little sexual years with your wife.

You are meddling on local domestic affairs and its already stressed you out, now you are not thinking correctly.

Instead of focusing on how to conquer more material wealth as crowns of glory to activate respect and headship of home, you want to be King of Home by monitoring what the women in your lives are doing.

You need to grow up, my friend.

I saw no problems there, except you have nothing to do than focus on aggrandising your little ego

First bigin to be mysterious ignore your mother in law. Tell your wife in plain language to choose between you and her mum. If the offence of your wife is infidelity trow her out of the house. She and her mother should be the people looking for forgivness and peace. If they come for reconciliation you give her condition and if they dont them look for another wife. I have been there. If you can stand your grouund you will get back ur respects

Safiaaa:
PLEASE LETS MAKE A PETITION TO GET NWAAMAIKPE OFF NL. HE IS A NUISANCE TO OUR COMMUNITY, WE DO NOT WANT HIM HERE!!!!!

You're less important to the forum too. So I'll rather make a petition to kick your feminist ass outta this forum for good!

DoTheNeedful:


See who is talking. Your profile picture and and your personal text can also lead people astray. Onye ekwensu

...........u mean lead people to d right path?........ok because of you ill change it

mavinc4u:


Madam, what exactly are you saying? Did you read that guy's rant at all. Are you saying the mother and daughter should separate because the daughter is married to a man? Who is he that the MIL would tell him every movement of hers. How many times has he questioned his own mother? Nke a bukwa mmadu ino n' ulo nopia kpuru amu ya.

Onye Igbo,I hail o