Hello Nairalanders,

I want to share an experience of what I am currently going through.

Sometime last year, after so much brainstorming and testing while spending money, I developed a business model that will benefit me and whoever will participate, without being too greedy.

In fact, in order make things run smoothly and achieve my goals, I had to do it that way so that whoever will be doing this will be more motivated.

I am in an area where I barely know much people after relocating and so, the closest person I interacted with is a guy whom I starting buying housing materials from, tiles and some other things.

Having noticed that he is very bold, brave and determined like a typical Igbo brother, I shared the idea with him and all he had to do is get clients while I handle the rest, considering he knows the area and have met people due to the nature of his business.

I told him how much would be his share on successful completion of the whole deal and then the hunt began. We had a couple of interested persons that went cold but sometime in October last year, while I traveled, I called him on phone which was when he told me that he got another lead.

On return to base and after he had briefed me on what they want, I told him that we need to make a little changes because I don't want to disappoint people. He grumbled at first but later saw reasons with me.

In order to give him control, to make him feel like team member, I decided not to get in touch with the client, neither did I request for their name or contact... this was my greatest mistake. I did this because I trust him because our friendship had gone far such that if i need any worker, I ask him to refer someone to me.

I only rely on what he tells me as feedback and take them as is. At a point, I started getting restless over the delay to get things done and I also noticed some flaws in his feedback, that is he lacks some analytical and communication skills and also incomplete information.

At this point, I decided to step in so that I could rectify whatever might be going wrong as well as ensure we are not having some time wasters or tire kickers on our hand like we previously had, which prompted me to request for a phone to speak with the client's daughter.

This was were the whole problem started but I didn't notice on time because I trusted him.

He then told me that man's daughter said she is coming. He said this so that I will stop requesting for the number. I said okay, let me wait for her. At least, I will get to meet her one on one and ask pertinent questions.

I waited through out that day and I didn't see anyone. I had to start bugging him to give me the number. He came up with another one that the girl's phone is off and at this time, he said he was told that that man is out of the country.

Anyway, he eventually gave me a phone number but a dead one that is always off (it was easy because he said the girl told him she off her phone because of someone else), he claimed he is only able to get in touch with the girl via the mother's phone.

I didn't bug him after that and so we moved on.

The waiting was being prolonged as we await the man to return to the country. On 28th of Last month, I told him to make a call and find out if the man was back.

I called him same day and asked for feedback as usual. He said that the daughter promised to call him back as the dad was at the airport. I waited for two more days with no call from the supposed girl and then told him that we need to know we are not wasting our time and then prompted him to get an insider at the place where the product will be supplied and find out if anything like that was going on or if any discussion about it has been initiated, so that we can have a little proof or assurance that we are not wasting our time.

Few days later, he said he called them up and that the man was yelling at him on phone, telling him why would he be making inquiries about the whole stuff behind his back (Apparently, the lead partner with the man informed him that some guys were asking questions). He said he tried to explain things to them but they were not listening... they obviously feel he was trying to hijack the whole thing and betray them.

When I looked at the whole situation, I told him to calm down and that I will put the blame on myself if he can let me send them a text, which I did but being a Nigerian or African, I know this is not something you handle by text messages but by physical and verbal discussions.

This is where the whole plot of his hidden agenda came to fore, much unexpected as I hadn't had any reason to suspect him up to this hour.

However, about week before this whole problem started, my sister told me to be prayerful and that I should always pray by 2a.m everyday for 7 days. After she gave me that instruction, she started asking me if I dreamed.

I am a careless person who feels everything should be seen through physical eyes, hardly prayed and just live life by what the day has in stock. However, I did follow up with my sister's instructions. She ask if I do dream, I told her that I hardly dream. She said I should continue and each time she would ask me if I dream. I would repeat my previous answer which is I do not dream.

One day, while still carrying out the prayers, I dreamed but it came in a rather different angle. I saw myself arguing with my own sister, serious one, we were exchanging words angrily. The dream was surprising to me because I saw no reason why I would fight with my sister. I told her the dream and we bought laughed, she is not even in the Nigeria at the moment and so it made it looked even more ridiculous.

Now back to the issue...

I told this guy to let me speak to the man, plead and apologize to him. I told him something of this magnitude for which the man discovered that someone was asking question behind his back is not something you settle by mere text message. Also considering the man is a Yoruba person and I know how Yorubas weigh respect. I told him we need to go see this man or make a phone call so that we can iron things out as this is like a case of betrayal in his own mind even though that wasnt what we had in mind, not sending text. I told him I will put the blame on myself as the person who caused it.

The text I sent, while still being silly, I used his phone to type it.

He was insisting that the text message is enough and that no need to call the man again. He said it is best we let the man decide and call since we have been calling for too long. At this point, I was still blinded by trust but already started seeing patterns.

I told him that the longer we wait the more the man might feel we truly wanted to betray him because the most important thing that should have followed was a visit to their house next day or a phone call.

This guy kept beating around the bush for a phone number that wouldn;t take 1 minute to give me. So after a while, my brother got involved and told him to let me have the man's number at best, he will be there when I make the call so that we both would can speak. He said he would give the number.

Next day, he still didnt give me. I called him up and he said he got my brother's call that when am I coming to his place. I said he should send the number by text or whatsapp. He said he would bring it to me. ah? At this point, it became clear he is hiding something. I still didn't the number neither did he bring it to me.

A day after that I called him again and told him what's up about the phone number. He said he was going to Ikeja and when he returns, he will give me the number. By this time, 4 days had past on an issue that will not take 1 minute. I still waited for him to return by 2 pm. I got to his place and told him what about the phone number. He said the number is at home.

On hearing that, I flared up right there and I was mad, like what sort of nonsense is this. But I was still calm and told him, look if it is a case of you adding more money than I had instructed, take the money, I am not interested but let me speak to this man so as to safe this deal. He said no , he didn't add anything. I noticed he didn't talk much because he knew I had caught him.

I spoke for close to 1 hour and he was still beating around the bush for the number.

At that point, I had to give options:

1. Call the man up and explain things to him... NO
2. Give me the number and let me do the talking... NO
3. Dont give me the number but call with your line and let me speak....NO
4. Let's visit their house and have a talk, he still wasnt willing to do that either.

With anger, I left his presence and he started calling me that day till Friday. I picked on Friday night. He thought he could persuade me like he does when selling his products. I pretended like it was working and I had heard him. By Saturday, I send him a text that I am pulling out since he has decided to spend over 5 days giving defending why no need for the number.

The funniest thing is that I made sure he would make good amount of money that his current business does not even give him profit wise as I try not to be too greedy. I know where I made a mistake was bringing friendship into a business deal.

Since I know the final destination of the proposed idea, I have started making inquiries in order to get the top man of the place. I know a place like Nairaland would have helped me faster in solving this problem but I am worried at the same time about the information going too public. I wish there was a way for me to get this done easily and get in touch with the client.

I am confused at the same time

modernWays:
Just listen to yourself, you left everything for him just because you trusted him or you dont have time to do it by yourself?

He has out smart you sir, but in case of next time, if you want to entrust enything in the hands of others even your blood relatives, make sure you hold an important key/secrete that he/she cant bypass without. An written agreement backed by law is not enough when dealing with close friends, relatives or dubious persons.

And most importantly, never trust any human being with your money, ideas and woman.

lazeal:


He can't get the product. I am the only one that knows where to get it. Thanks for ur other words.

modernWays:


Since he cant get the product to supply the said person, i dont see why you're troubling yourself over this issue.

Just let him be for now, it is possible he is afraid of being sideline just like you( especially since your brother is involve). Except he had got the secrete of where to get the product, no one will hide such information and be successful if you actually have the final says on the product.

Dont spoil your relationship with him now, just relax, ignore and wait for him to ask you about the product. This is where you demand to speak with the buyer and stands on your right.

You are right. I have no intention of sidelining him. I even told him if he has added more money to what what I proposed, he should take it but let me speak to the man and safe the whole situation.

He told me weeks before this problem started that errmmm he added 2k to what I told him. I told him to take it and it is left for him to give me or not and this would have brought his entire stake to over 3M.

I have learned my lessons anyway.

Shamsedeen:
You seem to believe that guy is your only hope. Don't you think if you mention the product or give a little idea of the business here,you might get a better and trust worthy partner? It's quite ok to guide your idea jealously but you don't have to be rigid.

Lol bro, I am not thinking he is my only hope and he knows I am his only hope rather as you would find out soonest. I was only being patient because that is me naturally so that when people hear my story, they wouldn't blame me

I am very sensitive to people's vibes. My worry is that the person we are dealing with might not want it to go beyond our circle as he (the client) has registered a business name for this purpose. I am not worried about a registered business name since I know my own role is not affected by it. Imagine his reaction when he heard people were making inquiries about it.

Also, if you read my post above, you will notice that I said I sent a text message to certain number. I didn't store the number but I took note of the name on the number and when he was proving too stubborn, I took the number using the name to search on his phone. This was possible because he ask me to dial a number for him, using my own phone and I use the opportunity to take the phone number

What I find rather odd is that after taking the number, I waited for extra 24 hours for him to willingly give me the number before I called it. I called but the person refused to pick. Take note.

I called 3 times with no one picking. I had to send a text that I will call next day and they quickly replied requesting " who is this". This is normal considering I have never spoken to them and getting a call from an unknown number out of the blue is one to be security conscious of.

I explained my purpose for contact and gave a little intro about the whole stuff and guess what the reply was? " I am sorry I don't know what you are talking about". I even called next day, thinking they will pick and so that I could easily explain things, but they didn't and so I stopped calling.

AT this stage, the only way to get my friend to respond was to tell him I was pulling out and gave him a grace of today as deadline if he refuse to give me the numbers. He did eventually. He gave me the man and his wife's number (the wife's number is one I took behind his back). I thought he would prove to be stubborn cos he knows I can easily displace him.

But I am surprised the person I sent the text to was feigning ignorance about what I am talking about. It might be just for security reasons because they have never had chance to meet me and it wouldn't be cool responding to unknown number because you don't even know if you are responding to an investigator on the other end. So I will take their reaction in good faith.

It does not mean I am not doing some offline leg work already. I know that letting the info out on here might make things work faster but at the same time, one just have to be careful as well.

He still insist we give them some time though and since I have a number already, I will use the time to get one more number, which he (my friend) does not have, while he is waiting.

Above all, I have learned a lot from this experience and it is well worth it.

iHart:
the business has not actually matured so nobody is betraying you!

He was actually hiding something but I made it clear that I would pull out since he does not want me to get in touch. I mean this whole thing is my whole idea and I have even shared our next move with him, however after this experience with the advice of others here, he will have to sign some legal docs before I will take him on the train cos the next one has an even bigger and better potential than this.

Apparently, he had not mentioned me to the people but let's see how it goes. Thanks for commenting

MrMcJay:
OP,

Get a lawyer to prepare a memorandum of understanding between both of you. Let there be confidentiality, non-compete and profit-sharing clauses in it. Thereafter, get it executed at the High Court.

If he tries to act funny, his signature on that document would be the beginning of his sorrows.

Celcius:
@lazeal I'm sorry this happened to you.
These are some of the challenges we try to address while working with startups/entrepreneurs.
@MrMcJay made a good point.
All of it you will find in a piece I posted today- http://www.foddscapital.com/partnering-finance-challenge/
No matter what the scale of business might be, it is best to get an MoU. Now, if you can not look a partner in the eye and say you need to write an MoU, this will be our general assumption:
1. That the business is not set to grow
2. You are desperate or afraid of your partner.
All a recipe for failure.
We should always note that as business grows, it becomes increasingly difficult to allot shares and assets.

lazeal:
Thanks so much for this. I have taken note of every tips shared here. I do hope everything works out later so I can share the good news with everyone and also seek your advice on structuring my idea into an establish company or organization.

LaudateII:


I am sorry about all what you went through, but there are a lot of unexplained aspects. I read your story and I have a few questions.

1). Have you supplied any product/service through your friend to a particular person/company/3rd party? Or are you just seeking for a contract, to be given to you or your friend, so that you can both supply the goods/services?

2). Do you have any proof that the supplies were actually made to that specific person/company/3rd party, by your friend?

3). Do you have any info on the time period for payment (e.g. 30 days or 45 days etc) or can you ascertain exactly how long it takes, for payment to be made, after goods/services are supplied?

4). If it is a genuine deal, most people/companies/3rd parties who require the goods, or those who have received the goods, would definitely have an idea of what you were talking about, when you called them on the phone. At best, they might ask you to call someone else in charge of that aspect within their organisation, by giving you another name, e-mail or number to call. At worst, if they do not want to divulge information on the phone, they might ask you some relevant questions such as:

a). What is the name of your firm, when were the goods/services delivered, and to whom?
b). Ask you to write a formal letter stating the whole transaction and how it took place, so they can direct it to the relevant authorities, within the firm.

c) List out the relevant procedures/steps you need to go through, to actually get the contract. It may not get you the deal at the end of the day, but you would have gotten relevant information, on how next to proceed.

Finally, your friend is not being transparent and honest. He is not divulging relevant facts, and his secrecy could cause you to lose money and reputation, at the end of the day. Please be careful with him.

If there is truly a contract in place, (as in there is a specific person/company/3rd party who truly requires your goods/services), then your friend should show you details of the contract and/or the LPO for the job. Then make sure you keep a copy with you, which you can go and verify at the firm which issued it.

Last word: If you decide to proceed further with this friend, please ensure you both agree on the rules of engagement. There should be a minimum amount of info, that he needs to provide to you, like customers' name, delivery point, LPO copy and payment period. If he cannot give you all these, kindly walk!

F3JS6r8:
iHart