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The Effect Of Manchester United Loss - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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The Effect Of Manchester United Loss by COvo(m): 1:26pm On Mar 14, 2018
THE EFFECT OF MAN UNITED'S LOSS
.
Four years after graduation and things seem to move from bad to worse. You're still your own boss and still a broke arse because ‘self employed’ sometimes means jobless and penniless. No penny in your pocket, no Henny in the fridge but your pen*s is intact though it hardly gets erect of late.
What used to be your weapon of mass destruction seems to understand that the economy has been in peril of late. Your mighty man can no longer find moral justification for irresponsible erections since its master is suffering economic meltdown.
Even your so-called sweetheart, has left you for her old boss.

So, there you were, reeling in super-agony when the opportunity came knocking. It was Emeka, he came with "good" news.
"O boy, shey you know sey Man u de play with Seville today"
You nod your head lightly, cos the emptiness in your stomach affects your body reaction.
"I hear sey na sure win o" you looked at him, his face pale like a sun-stricken cassava.
"Make we play that game, na sure game be dat" he continued.
You're not a betting man, but how man go do?
You thought for a moment. The only money with you is the one given to you by papa Amara, to give to his wife when she returns.
You shook your head...
"O boy the only moni wey dey my hand na mama Amara 20k"
"Really?!" Emeka exclaimed.
"You don hamma be nah, just bet d 20k, win 80k, then give her bak d 20k".
It sounded like a good idea and before you could conjure a contradictory thought, you're already in a betting shop, placing your bet.
Basking in the euphoria of potential winning....you returned home, your heart as light as an Angel's kiss.
.
You couldn't sleep that night, the time became a snail. Your torchlight phone couldn't access livescore.com
You thought of what 60k would do for your semi-miserable life. You nod your head; you shake it; you nod it again as million thoughts ran zig-zag in your big head.

Finally, mother nature wrapped her caring hands on your withered body and off to dreamland you were. There, you found yourself with Emeka and some babes, drinking bottles of beer and plates of peppersoup littered everywhere.

A persistent knock on your door cut short your Neverland enjoyment.
It was mama Amara.
You greeted her delightedly.
.
She came for her money.
You told her to give you 30mins. You washed your face and off to the betting shop you went.
As you got close, Emeka's gloomy face greeted you. Your heart nearly skipped a beat.
"Okay, dat game cut o". Emeka said, dejectedly.

You couldn't find your voice at that moment.
Fear gripped you. Mama Amara will disgrace you today. You've got to find a means.
You ran back to the house, carried your generator, electric iron, your spoilt laptop.
You were able to sell those items but, it was not enough.
You still needed 8k to complete the money...
You thought of going to beg mama Amara. What will you tell her? Will she agree?

But....then, a thought graced your mind....Barcelona vs Chelsea is tonight... Why not invest the 12k on Chelsea and probably get 40+k. Great idea, and before the wind could blow south.... The bet shop you are....placing the bet....but...
Who knows what tonight holds...?
Will Chelsea win tonight?
Or will this jobless guy's woes continue?
By the way....
Mama Amara awaits...
Re: The Effect Of Manchester United Loss by Merisco: 12:19am On Aug 22, 2020
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