Person 1: Great God, it is April 2010. What kind of sleep did I fall into? Is my calendar fast or have I really being sleeping for two scores less 5 months.

Person 2: Good to see you awake my friend. You have been in a strange sleep for that long, but I am glad you are okay now.

Person 1: Don't play me. Are you telling me that it has been that long since we elected the man of 7 agenda.

Person 2: Yep.

Person 1: Doesn't look like it. The headlines seem to be the same as back then.

Person 2: --mumbles: memory test. How so my dear friend?

Person 1:  Well, IBB is trolling the Nigerian landscape trying to get the PDP nomination. Atiku is still fighting to get his way in the PDP. Obasanjo is making statements about what politicians need to do for fair elections. INEC still doesn't have a clue about what an election entails. At least according to the radio.

Person 2: , begins to laugh,

Person 1:  Ah, do we have 6000 MW of electricity now? That would convince me?

Person 2: Nope. No 6000MW. I'll try to help you find something convincing.

Person 1: Vision 2020 is halfway achieved?

Person 2: Sorry again.

Person 1: NEEDS, nko?

Person 2: NEEDS ko, NADDS ni. If you need something just say so!

Person 1: So, what have the politicians being doing?

Person 2: Nothing.

Person 1: Nothing you say - well I think you are being economical with the truth. With that pile of newspapers in the corner they must have been doing something.

Person 2: Yes, busy stealing the funds and fighting in the courts. Some election cases are still in the courts, you know.

Person 1: What about my hero, Ribadu?

Person 2: Oh yeah, they got busy on him right away. First, they demoted him and sent him to "school", then they tried to kill him, and lastly he had to get out of here in a hurry.

Person 1: For a few months there I thought we had a chance in this country. Didn't the 7 agenda man include rule of law in his manifesto?

Person 2: ---mumbles,

Person 1:  What? I mis-read it? You mean the 7 agenda man actually wrote ruse of law.

Person 2:  One foolish man, I think his name was Rufai, who thought the nation cannot be allowed to see this, that the nation needs to move forward, was the one that single-handely changed "ruse" to "rule" with fervent hope for his countrymen.

Person 1: So what happened to him?

Person 2: Well, he had to hightail out of here for daring to bring civility to the uncivilized political climate. Served him right won't you say? I remember Atiku was mightily pissed at that "boy".

Person 1: I just heard that someone by his name is heading home. That is him? Really? What gave him the confidence that he would not be in hot-water upon return.

Person 2: Where have you being man? Sorry, forgot about your sleep for a moment there. The man of 7 agenda has not been seen for several months. Don't say it, he was not overthrown by the coup makers. No, no, no, my friend, our military knows what is good for them now. They are professionals or so they claim. You remember the man of 7 agenda was not feeling too good before his selection, right?

Person 1:  Oh yeah, memory fails me.

Person 2: Well, it was a little more than fever, if you know what I mean. After a couple of hide-and-seek games, the guy had to stampede out of here in the middle of the night to you know where. He has not been seen since then, but we are told, and don't quote me oh, that he is playing with kids, doing yoga, jumping rope and is planning to play for the Nigerian team in South Africa.

Person 1: That reminds me. How did the hosting of the under-17 world cup go?

Person 2: You must be kidding, right? After all I have told you, what do you think happened?

Person 1: What happened?

Person 2: What happened? They shamed us in the eyes of the world is what happened.

Person 1: I will read these newspapers thoroughly so as to stop displaying ignorant hope, dear friend. One last question, if you don't mind, were there any moments of elation, pure joy and togetherness during my sojourn into sleephood?

Person 2: You are a coconut head aren't you? If you still don't get it, let me put the cake on top of it for you. There was one Boko Haram and one Abdul Mutallab - look it up then come talk to me.

Person 1: Okay I'll start reading these newspapers to refresh my memory.

Person 2: Or you can just watch TV and listen to radio for the next twoscore months, because another episode of "Soap Nigeriana" is about to begin. The format is a little bit different this time. The Americans are telling us that Nigeria is good enough for two shows.

Person 1: Why?

Person 2: There you go with those silly questions. Just open your window, let the light jump in, and watch this first episode of the re-make of "Soap Nigeriana". You will understand my friend, in time, you will understand. I'll tell you this. They think there is at least one recalcitrant actor on set that might, for all we know, burn the whole place down if not gently lowered. They know for a fact that he is being recruited by an "enemy" network. May God save us all or we can decide to save ourselves. It has been a long time since God sent fire from heaven or parted the sea for any person or group of persons. Right now he is probably just watching the show and surfing the universal internet.