It is now.
This moment, this present time as I type this. Black history.

Is.

Me heading off to school or not,  my grannie a bethroed child.
It is our black history. Grannie being a light skinned butcher & meat seller who gave birth to that child who later graduated and became a mother of 5 and jumped ship,  for a better life for me. A dark skinned lanky me.
It is my grandfather loving for love and squashing boundaries for what is to be. It is black history he made, unbeknownst to him.

Black history is. Me.
Black history, is the movement away from everything I was, towards everything that is, and in some cases, stagnance.
Black history, is maintaining the status quo.
It is what that lady is doing rocking that weave and the other not,  it just is us.
Black history, is love, and lack there of; for you and yours.
Black history, is that fist that you held up as another desires to blend in this melting pot.

"Why do we praise ourselves as blacks when it would only encourage segregation?"
Isnt segregation only going to darken the lines between us and promote ethnocentrism,  promote hate?
Black history are these questions.
Black history is everything.
It is the process of writting this/

It is westernization. It is losing ourselves and rediscovering something else n the process. It is not knowing why we do the things we do and wondering what it is we will become when the damages are done. It is the anticipation., and hope for an end to change YET Black history IS change and whatever inspired the process.

Wondering and questioning things. Black history is the result of Nina Simone's songs' impacts on my soul as I listen to her sing,
"Sophisticated lady, I know,  you miss the love you lost long ago, and when nobody is near, you cry".

Black history is the several numerous bits of diverged fights we fight,  all in the name of self love.
The story of my people,  from the ones unknown to Mrs Tubman and the ones that helped her get known.
The story tellers.
The story of my people. From the heros to the zeros and the significance of the zeros in helping to measure our heroes.

My people have lost alot. But see? Even that is black history.
Black history is me. And the path that was paved to make me.

It is every hit that was sustained, every lynch, every slave, every man that was not strong enough to make the trade and,  rastafaris and the black revolutionaries, it is every hate and every rebel that became what they were rebeling against.

It is every despoil and every love that was too shameful to be proclaimed.
It is the journey through, towards, and against recognizing that blacks are from the one land. It is the segregation between Africans and Caribbeans and the love of Rastafaris for the holy land.

It is every wrong judgement that man allowed to pass. It is segregation and unity.

Black history is knowing better, yet feeling lost to the system and living your life to be part of a process so that your offsprings can someday, maybe, hopefully live a little better so that their offsprings can finally eventually self actualize. It is that sacrifice that your life has become.

Black history!
This moment. Me. My love for it and lack of it. Black history, is this.




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