Many parents find it difficult to talk about sex and intimacy with their children. No one ever taught them how, and it's understandably uncomfortable. But like anything else, as a parent you need to figure out how and when to discuss sex and intimacy with your child before society does.

The reality is; Today’s children are at greater risk of developing a warped view of sex and intimacy than ever before. They desperately need you to explain to them your view of what healthy sex and intimacy look like.

The phrase ”warped view” ain't referring to kinky sex practices or alternative sexuality. We're far more concerned about the average views regarding sex and sexuality and how they are communicated.

Research shows that young people receive most of their modeling around sexual behavior from the media — in particular, pornography.

Don’t misquote us. This is not an anti-pornography stance. My concerns here revolve around the fact young people are getting the majority of their information from such an impersonal source.

While attending the recent TED Women Conference, what speaker Peggy Orenstein chilled to the bone.

Orenstein conducted research focused on girls and sex. She performed an in-depth interview with a group of 70 racially and ethnically diverse girls between the ages of 15 and 20 who identified as either college bound or already in college. Among the group, 10 percent placed themselves on the sexuality spectrum as being either lesbian or bisexual.

Research shows a high prevalence of sexual assault occurs on college campuses. Even in our modern culture we still have difficulty navigating discussions of consent without the inevitable spiral into talk of "false allegations."

As the mother of a 14 ½-year-old son who has been raised in a complicated family, We strive to give him the tools necessary for negotiating the minefield of sexual and intimate relationships.

1. He has a variety of people he can talk to about these decisions whom will always have his back.
2. He knows that he needs to discover his own desires, likes, and dislikes.
3. He knows that his body belongs to him.
4. He knows about consent.
5. He knows to treat his partners with respect and not to be judgmental.
6. He also knows that talking about these things, though potentially embarrassing, is essential to having healthy and satisfying long-term sexual relationships.

As an intimacy coach and a psychologist, We remain concerned for those kids raised in homes in which their parents never even mention sex, the children whose parents are never physically affectionate in front of them, and those in homes in which too much adult sexual behavior is seen.

Paul Bryant, a professor of telecommunications at Indiana University Bloomington, highlights the trouble faced by children learning about sex through pornography in his "sexual script theory" regarding the sexual socialization of teens.

For today’s teen, pornography lays down internal scripts for a variety of sexual behaviors and scenarios.

If parents do not present an alternative view, the only model for how to behave in sexual relationships will come from media — not just pornography, but from music and music videos as well. Without the safeguard of knowing they have a non-judgmental parent to discuss with what they see and learn, they have no meaningful way to understand and consider the positives and negatives among the variety of sexual scripts they see in order to weigh their feeling about the perceived possibilities.

There is no easy fix to this discussion.

As adults, we need to examine the way we relate to sex and how we talk about it with each other. As we become more comfortable talking about sex with our own partners and peers, we will become more confident about discussing it as a parent as well.

To get you on your way, here are 7 steps you can take to begin addressing the problem and have conversations with your child about sex — starting right now.

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SOURCE: All Naija Entertainment