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Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters - Islam for Muslims - Nairaland

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Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by javalove(m): 8:01pm On May 13, 2010
Salam Alykun Warahmatulah Wbarakatuh

Bismilahi Rahmani Raheem

I know its been a long time I blogged on the Islam for muslim forum but I need you all to assist me.

I am presently in a relationship with a girl and we both are happy toegther. I love her and she loves me too.

Being a medical student that she is, she advised I take a blood test to determine my genotype which I did yesterday. I got my result and for the first time in my life, i heared of a genotype called AC. Now its confirmed now that my genotype is AC.

My hajia;s genotype is AS.

Some medical experts advised me to quit the relationship immediately and not venture into marrying her. Some said the worst case scenario is we have a child with a genotype SC, which they said is similar but less severe than SS (Sickle Cell).

I have cried all my life out today but it wont change anything.

She is suggesting we take the risk and prepare for the worst, that is having an SC genotype child.


There is nothing Allah cannot do. We might give birth to all AA children. We might give birth to all SC children but the decision lies in our hands. She is willing to take the rist but I am scared (it doesnt mean i dont love her). . I just need islamic advice on situations like this.

Salam Alykun
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by Nobody: 8:04pm On May 13, 2010
How selfish can you be to want to bring an SC child into this world?

Remember you are not having children for yourselves alone, but for the joy of seeing them grow up healthy and strong.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by Nobody: 8:07pm On May 13, 2010
adoption is an option
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by tunde1200(m): 9:11pm On May 13, 2010
may allah help you amin
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by macomrades(m): 11:04pm On May 13, 2010
@poster
i think salatul istikhara is your best choice. If you dont know how to perform it, ask those who know. May Allah guide us all. Amin.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by Dfearless1(m): 11:37am On May 14, 2010
I advise U 2 both perform Nafilatul Istikhara. But since U both do not do that in the 1st instance, the best thing 2 do is 2 opt out cos if 1 of the children(if U marry each other & produce children) later is SC & she learnt of the risk U both take, Walahi She will not 4give U 4 the rest of her life. So think twice b4 deciding on what 2 do.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by muhsin(m): 6:21pm On May 14, 2010
Salam,

I actually know little or nothing regarding this SC issue. Hence I can only wish you all the best, and at the same time advise you to seek advice from more learned persons. As says the noble Qur'an: "Fas'aluu ahlu zikir. . ." Meaning ask those who know whenever you are in a state of ignorance.

Remain blessed.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by babs787(m): 9:26pm On May 14, 2010
Salam Javalove

Longest time and I hope you are doing cool?

With regards to the issue at hand, I would suggest that you keep on praying (Nawafil Istikhara) and have faith but not to believe that the relationship should be a do or die affair. Seek advice from the learned ones and you should have it at the back of your mind that, it s not just having kids that matters, but watching them grow up strong, healthy and most importantly, being the joy of parent. 

You should have it at the back you mind that, there is a reason for everything and that the devil known is better than the angel not known as said by a popular proverb. We should not open our eyes and enter a contract that would be unsatisfactory as a result of love and may turn either way later in life. Parting ways now may not seem good to both of you now but it would be the best when all else fail and would lead to future happiness.

At this stage, we should look at what the prophet said on the choice of a wife and we should ask ourselves, will we be happy seeing one's children fall victim as a result of negligence of the parent? We should all know that, it should not be the basis for marrying another wife with a strong genotype.

Lastly, seek advice, pray always and Allah will make things easier for you.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by javalove(m): 6:54pm On May 17, 2010
brother babs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! salam alykun. . . ibo le gbalo lati ojo yi. . . grin grin Nice to see u back on. . pls send me your number on yahoo msngr. . i wud call u. . I'm in lagos now. . .

@topic

Well, i thank you for your advice. Talking about qualities one needs in a spouse, my Sekinat has all I need and want. . .I love her so much but the thought of the fact that we might part ways is making me go crazy. I have been advised by elders to part ways with her which is difficult for me.

I will perform the solat istikhara. May Allah guide me and her to theright decisions. If we are to part ways now, i no no where to start ooo. . .to start to dey find another hajia. . i ti su mi. . .I'm 26 now, I wud be 27 this yr. . I'm getting old, dont you think so. . grin
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by babs787(m): 7:06pm On May 21, 2010
@Javalove

Salam Brother. I am just reading your post now. I have been very busy and it seems you looked scarce as well.

We have lots to discuss online. I will try to catch you on messenger for full gist.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by Toheebah: 2:54pm On Jul 22, 2010
i know what yu mean. i was in a sitaution like that a while ago. it is simple. The love you share should be enough to carry you both. you might be lucky and have none. science is getting better,you might be lucky.
Re: Marital Advice Needed From My Brothers And Sisters by bolseas(f): 1:46pm On Aug 27, 2010
, like what i said on a similar thread, my dad was AS while my mum is AC, I have a younger sister (who happens to be the last born) who is SC.

my parents didnt know they were AS and AC before they got married, maybe that was why God didnt make my sister problematic. she is a healthy girl.

she once had a crises and that was when it was discovered that she is SC.

ps. this is speaking from experience

@ topic

Ihidina sirantal mustakim.

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