divinelove:


u pushed him away for needing sex from his wife after 4 kids, u are very lucky he still desires your body after 4 kids. you must be blessed with nice body otherwise by now u should be the one begging him for sex as a woman should be very fat n unattractive after 4kids.

keep pushing him away, u don't kW what u have till u lose it.

getting a new wife is an empty threat, he still loves u

You're a born by mistake. Idiot!

appsdope:


You're a born by mistake. Idiot!

Who is this demented animal

Anuofia

freshvine:
if your husband is an ibo man, defininately he's a rabble rouser and wont do jack...another wife?,that's a taboo.

if he's a yoruba...prepare for the worst. it's a culture thing.

but if your husband is a moslem, you need not complain. thats a religious obligation.

Stereotype.Why do you people believe everything they tell you in the village?

You are the one stressing yourself, how can you have 4kids under six years of marriage? Are you a machine? The stress will be killing and the man is even bragging to a second wife because the only thing he thinks you bring to the table is sex, kids, school runs and house chores. Is that the only thing you want for yourself? Get busy be productive, do something for yourself and don't be afraid of him taking a second wife, so far the woman won't invade your privacy. Sex in marriage should be a mutual agreement not a chore. Plan yourself properly, there are women who work, have kids, do school runs and chores and still have a healthy sex life. Don't build your world round a man or even kids. Go out and be more than a wife and mother. Respect begets Respect

[quote author=divinelove post=68956781]

u pushed him away for needing sex from his wife after 4 kids, u are very lucky he still desires your body after 4 kids. you must be blessed with nice body otherwise by now u should be the one begging him for sex as a woman should be very fat n unattractive after 4kids.

keep pushing him away, u don't kW what u have till u lose it[/quote To whom brain is given,sense is expected!

Was it not better to just open your legs to let him release his demons? The man has come home to “relax” and does not care for your excuses.

He was working all day abi? Or is he jobless?
Your own house-wife stress is not his business.
Find a way to complete your own work on time and give him HIS OWN SIX SEX SECONDS!

Instead, with “headache” you gathered strength to “push him”.

Since you don’t believe in birth control, stress will always be your portion.

You have 5 children o. The husband is #5! He too must suck “bobby” ke!

As for marrying a second wife, you have no control over that. Sex or no sex!

Please, get ready to be a baby mamma if you do not learn to manage yourself or your time.

Or the stress might just stroke you out, your husband will indeed get another wife and your children will be HOUSE-HELPS!


You know most men will sell their children for good sex? You better take charge of your home and take care of ALL KIDS EQUALLY.

If the dude is UNEMPLOYED? Please, start another thread because that is a different PROBLEM that needs different solutions.

Let us not compound the issues you have at the moment.

Good luck!

divinelove:


u pushed him away for needing sex from his wife after 4 kids, u are very lucky he still desires your body after 4 kids. you must be blessed with nice body otherwise by now u should be the one begging him for sex as a woman should be very fat n unattractive after 4kids.

keep pushing him away, u don't kW what u have till u lose it.

getting a new wife is an empty threat, he still loves u

all women are not so unkept after having children, and yes 4kids in 6yrs. Egima3 + 1. And she's a final year student, she can't come n kill herself all bcus of sex. She needs to rest too and probably a massage. The man is just insensitive and stingy.

delly2015:
I have been married for 6yrs with 4children. Each time I and my hubby have a little misunderstanding or arguments, he will always say he will marry another woman and if I like I stay , if I don't like I go. And it has been going on for sometimes. Recently, I've been going through a lot of stress, from house chores to doing school runs. At the end of the day I will be tire and next thing is sleep. Yesterday after all the running around I had a terrible headache which I told him about, but he didn't say anything. At night he came to touch me, I told him again that the headache is getting worse he told me to take paracetamol, which I did. After that I told him I need to rest a bit, he tired getting in there but I pushed him off and pleaded with him to let me rest, he got upset and slept the sitting room. Woke up this morning greeted him, he didn't answer and didn't even asked how I was feeling. He said he won't take that rubbish from me(not giving him s*x) and said he has future plans to marry another woman that won't be giving him excuse for s*x. Am tired of hearing these all the time, I want to quit.[color=#990000][/color]

@delly2015,

It will be well.

I see three issues in your post that I will address:

1. Him telling you that he will marry a second wife: For starters, is he serious or just pulling your legs or just saying it? Have you noticed how her interacts with others when he is angry? For instance, If he tells the kids he will break their heads or sell them or tells his siblings he will disown them or tells people he will deal with them, he will kill them bla bla bla, then it is obvious he is someone who mouths off when angry. Also try and observe his reaction after an argument with someone... if he starts laughing at their annoyance behind them, it could be he is just the type to incite people. What I want to achieve is you deciphering if his threat to marry a second wife is a sign of disrespect or just mouthing off.

2. Chores: You said you have been undergoing stress lately. I want to ask what changed in your routine or household? I would also assume that your husband doesn't help you with chores. Does he have issues with you delegating or getting help? Have you told you that you are stressed? Telling you have headache before sex doesn't count. Also, when you are stressed, or about to be, please pause whatever it is you are doing and rest. Also identify the stressors and control them.

3. Sex: Ghen! ghen!! ghen!!! Sister mi, every other time you can delegate, this you can't and it is soooooooooooo important. I want you to change your mind from it is an additional chore to this is one of the most important ways I want to please my husband and start by taking good care of yourself (please I am not saying your don't). See yourself as a gift to be unwrapped constantly. Make sure that you do not stress yourself to the point that you can't have sex with your husband regularly. Even if you are not satisfied, it is easier to communicate after the deed than saying no.

Goodluck.

Here is my suggestion... Your husband has succeeded in making you feel so insecure in both of you's home. Since he keeps threatening you with a second wife, let him go ahead and get the so called second wife na. Then team up with the second wife and you guys deal with him mercilessly. If possible sef, arrange the chic for him undercover. If your husband has money, hehe you guys know how to handle that part

I have to point this out though....Having four kids under six years is one mistake you made. As a woman, your life should not only be centered around marriage and children. You practically turned yourself into a chicken puffing out babies and ofcourse that accounts for the stress you are going through. Your husband feels you dont have any bargaining chip anymore so you are basically at his mercy footstool. Well the mistake has been made, and its time to chat a way forward.

So she should help the man bring in another woman into her own house? In an attempt to deal with the man?

What does marriage mean to you guys?

ClimberG:
Here is my suggestion... Your husband has succeeded in making you feel so insecure in both of you's home. Since he keeps threatening you with a second wife, let him go ahead and get the so called second wife na. Then team up with the second wife and you guys deal with him mercilessly. If possible sef, arrange the chic for him undercover. If your husband has money, hehe you guys know how to handle that part

I have to point this out though....Having four kids under six years is one mistake you made. As a woman, your life should not only be centered around marriage and children. You practically turned yourself into a chicken puffing out babies and ofcourse that accounts for the stress you are going through. Your husband feels you dont have any bargaining chip anymore so you are basically at his mercy footstool. Well the mistake has been made, and its time to chat a way forward.

cococandy:
So she should help the man bring in another woman into her own house? In an attempt to deal with the man?

What does marriage mean to you guys?

Whether you like to hear the cold hearted truth or not, let me spell it out. For her husband to threaten her several times over and over again, not once or twice but repeatedly. He is already having an affair outside. Its up to her to decide how she would handle the outside mistress affair. She can choose the long suffering way of endurance and torture by praying for him to change in the church or take the less stressful way. Its up to her to decide.

Btw most mistresses dont like the idea of dating a married man, they are just there for the money, dats all. If you kindly bring them to the table, you would be surprised how helpful they can be. If you like go and start fighting the mistress, you will loose.

..

So those are the only options?

1) Fight the so called mistress
2) suffer in silence
3) help the mistress into the home

Do you have an option that holds the man accountable to her? An option that includes respect for her and respect for the vows he made to her? An option that includes not reducing herself?

ClimberG:


Whether you like to hear the cold hearted truth or not, let me spell it out. For her husband to threaten her several times over and over again, not once or twice but repeatedly. He is already having an affair outside. Its up to her to decide how she would handle the outside mistress affair. She can choose the long suffering way of endurance and torture by praying for him to change in the church or take the less stressful way. Its up to her to decide.

Btw most mistresses dont like the idea of dating a married man, they are just there for the money, dats all. If you kindly bring them to the table, you would be surprised how helpful they can be. If you like go and start fighting the mistress, you will loose.

cococandy:
So those are the only options?

1) Fight the so called mistress
2) suffer in silence
3) help the mistress into the home

Do you have an option that holds the man accountable to her? An option that includes respect for her and respect for the vows he made to her? An option that includes not reducing herself?

Ok madam pls educate me. Table your own suggestions to her...I'm all ears
I also noticed your location from your profile says you are in USA. Madam i hope you are not about to compare the married women in the states to that of naija. They have a lot more leverage over their marital affairs in the states than in naija. Spousal support laws, child support laws etc.... So many many leverages for women over there, so husbands over there dere not messup. And if he messes up, the lady can easily file a divorce knowing the law will back her up. In naija, ITS NOT THE SAME. Where do you expect this woman to go with her 4 children??

Ok like I said Im all ears to own suggestions.

Women in africa are trying, the wife is suppose to endure every suffering in marriage, of all her complaint, the only thing people can deduce is the sex part, no matter what she should not deny him sex, all of you saying that should swear you've never at one point deny your partner sex


A friend here actually called my attention to a thread a little bit similar to this by desreek9 who denied her husband sex cos of std, see insults she received, on something that is not her fault, smh

Marriage is not a do or die affair, we really need to stop this mentality

My simple suggestion was for her to try to engage him in the activities/chores that she needs to perform at home as a first step. If it works, she won’t be tired all the time and they can have more time to make love.

Nobody said anything about going anywhere with four kids. And it if comes to that, you people overlook/belittle the Nigerian legal system a lot. She can still walk away with her due with the help of a good lawyer. But that’s still far far away from the discussion. I don’t know why you went there.

ClimberG:



Ok madam pls educate me. Table your own suggestions to her...I'm all ears
I also noticed your location from your profile says you are in USA. Madam i hope you are not about to compare the married women in the states to that of naija. They have a lot more leverage over their marital affairs in the states than in naija. Spousal support laws, child support laws etc.... So many many leverages for women over there, so husbands over there dere not messup. And if he messes up, the lady can easily file a divorce knowing the law will back her up. In naija, ITS NOT THE SAME. Where do you expect this woman to go with her 4 children??

Ok like I said Im all ears to own suggestions.

Dyt:


Ain't you same person husband accused of sleeping with his bro?

How did you resolve it?

delly2015 u failed to refute or acknowledge this accusation.