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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips (22692 Views)
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South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by HeWrites(m): 7:13am On Jul 02, 2018 |
This South African lady got married at 17yrs and has been married for 13yrs. She took to twitter to share the lessons she has learnt from over a decade of marriage. Read below; "I was married at 17 yrs old and have been married for 13 yrs, I am 30yrs old with 3 kids A “survival” thread for young wives (and lessons I have learnt)... Start a trust with H, put everything you own in the trust. It must be divorce, death and individuals incapacitated proof. Start your empire early. The sooner you experience the knocks the quicker you will recover. Children are very very very expensive both financially and emotionally, think about it carefully. Don’t assume anything with your partner. Communicate everything even about his mother. Be honest.You will already be short changed. Get used to it now. You won’t win. He will hurt you, really really damage you. No one will ever understand and sometimes you don’t either. I don’t know what else to tell you but the fact that it hurts. Just find a healthy way to deal with it. Twitter/social media is a fantasy. It’s not real life. Don’t make decisions or change who you are to be appealing to social media. Social media is a loners paradise, you have a life, a husband and family, focus on that. Communicate your ambitions from the very beginning. Don’t give an impression to a man that you are ok with what he can provide kanti wena you want more. Friends are not your measuring stick to your success. Don’t compare your marriage. Some people compromise and sacrifice too much to be where they are. Just stick to the family vision and forget the noise. Your husbands’ friends are not your friends. When they call you iVrou, know that you are being taken for a poses. Your husband is your friend. You have people you kee kee with but they are not your friends. Pillow talk and gossip are essential on a daily basis. This is how you will be able to really analyze his mind, his associates and advise him strategically. Everything you were told when the antis held you in a room before your wedding, is true. The 10yr mark is the hardest and where you experience most of the horrors of marriage. Stay strong, understand why you are there. Depression is real, don’t be silent. Go to a therapist. Encourage H to go to couples therapy before � hits the fan. Educate yourself. Make some cash on the side with a small business or whatever, just don’t get used to being handed things. Men keep scores, they won’t remember what you did but will definitely remember what you didn’t do and what he did. Never talk about your marriage to friends. Just don’t. Don’t take out your anger and frustration in the kids. They don’t now what is going on and they will make you account for it when they are older. *out on the kids...* If your mom is still married to your dad or until his death listen to her. She will save you years of heartache. And she has endured more than you can ever imagine, appreciate her, love on her but don’t let her be the sounding board of your marriage. Stay in tune with the rhythm of your relationship. Don’t suddenly dance to gqom kanti y’all have been cruising to RnB all along. I am sure there are many more advises and lessons learnt but I am still young and new to being married, I have still got so much to learn and unlearn. One more thing... be quick to forgive. Grudges will only set you back and yena just prosper. ♥️� Respect your in laws they are not your friends no matter how close y’all are. If you are selfish, don’t bother with marriage. KaMarriage you eat your pride with fork and knife, even when you are right mntase ��♀️" https://www.torimill.com/2018/07/marriage-survival-tips-from-a-south-african-lady-who-got-married-at-17.html 29 Likes 1 Share
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Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Alejoc(m): 7:25am On Jul 02, 2018 |
No one formula fits all! 15 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Timewilltell2(f): 8:13am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Ugly , lazy fool giving marriage advise ? Who marries these drunkard hoes in the first place . Nonsense . 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by babyfaceafrica: 9:05am On Jul 02, 2018 |
noted |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by austyn0(m): 9:39am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Beauty and Brains... 86 Likes 1 Share
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Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Timewilltell2(f): 9:40am On Jul 02, 2018 |
10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by austyn0(m): 9:42am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Timewilltell2:You've had breakfast today? 31 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Timewilltell2(f): 9:47am On Jul 02, 2018 |
austyn0: You are not funny. |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Attaboy06(m): 9:50am On Jul 02, 2018 |
this guys una dy mad ooo� |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Attaboy06(m): 9:51am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Timewilltell2: |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Timewilltell2(f): 9:59am On Jul 02, 2018 |
[quote author=Attaboy06 post=69008987][/quote] What's funny ? |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by izzou(m): 10:26am On Jul 02, 2018 |
[s]Social media is not real life. It's a loners paradise [/s] That to me, is what 80% of people in this generation do not understand. 63 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by wildcatter23(m): 10:39am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Nobody: 10:41am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Am I the only one thinking that the husband be arrested for marrying an underage. Isn't having sex talkless of marriage to an underage a crime again.. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by olahero(m): 10:45am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by pfijacobs(m): 10:46am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Social media is a loner's paradise... Eat ur pride with fork and knife Communicate ur ambitions from the very beginning Never compare yourself with others, so many people sacrificed so much to get to where they are now... Deep words of a wise woman 65 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by iammo(m): 10:48am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Very inspiring 4 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Dami12345: 10:49am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Timewilltell2: You r the fool here Her Advice, is impressive, scary even on its accuracy. 57 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Almunjid(m): 10:50am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Her husband is lucky, This woman still make sense 0oo 32 Likes 1 Share
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Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by cococandy(f): 10:51am On Jul 02, 2018 |
She Lost me here. “He will hurt you, really really damage you”. Stop marrying psychos 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by aycorporat(m): 10:51am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Timewilltell2:I have observed that you have a thing for all this foreign ladies especially SA ladies. Is there any wound that is not healing or some offence from them? 23 Likes 1 Share |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Nobody: 10:57am On Jul 02, 2018 |
austyn0: 3 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Sijo01(f): 10:57am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Make sense. Noted!!! 8 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Timewilltell2(f): 11:02am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Dami12345: A dummy without a dime , would think so. Get off my mentions. |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by Timewilltell2(f): 11:04am On Jul 02, 2018 |
phantonce: Marrying a two year old in SA is not a crime . Those people are the sick of Africa. 2 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by lohresloco: 11:04am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Ladies not every man will hurt you... Understand your case will be unique... Understand also you can speak your future experiences into existence so speak life, beauty... Gain, growth and all the good things consistently... Ps: you can speak into existence what you want in your man and you will get just that 4 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by elvido(m): 11:05am On Jul 02, 2018 |
cococandy: its not just about physical hurt, it might be psychological as well..such as verbal abuse, etc, and some emotional Laddies take it seriously.., nd pls dnt think everybody is normal, every1 av is demon yu know 1 Like |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by uruego(f): 11:05am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Thank you dear. Marriage is about maturity, and not age. 6 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by dsaintJ4Real(m): 11:05am On Jul 02, 2018 |
Timewilltell2: Lol. But are you married? She actually made some very good sense. Also, experience teaches one that if you look closely you will see 'sense' inside 'nonsense'. Enjoy. 5 Likes |
Re: South African Lady Who Got Married At 17 Gives Marriage Survival Tips by cococandy(f): 11:06am On Jul 02, 2018 |
elvido: A partner can hurt you and you’d all be fine at the end of the day because no one is perfect. But once we are approaching damaging physically or psychologically, it’s bye time. 5 Likes |
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