Thoughts cross our minds on a daily basis. Many of these thoughts are repeated over and over. We usually do not pay much attention to our thoughts although we can be aware of them.
Let us say you are friendly with people. One day for some reason you start thinking, “What am I going to get out of that?” when the thought of being friendly arrives. At that point your thinking is no longer positive. It starts yielding negative emotions. Negative emotions fuel negative thoughts which in turn fuels negative emotions. This sort of thinking is destructive.
Destructive thinking has to do with a negative internal dialogue or self-talk. Much of the time we have internal dialog going on which can be positive or negative. Whether the self-talk is positive or negative, it is perpetuated by our own internal voice.
“I’m not educated,” “I’m always going to be broke.” These are negative thoughts that often lead you to not taking the next step. As a result, you remain in the same situation and fuel the negative self-talk. What you need to do is to become conscious of these talks when they come up and observe them. By watching them, your mind is no longer identified with them. This way they lose their power or hold over you. Stop destructive thinking by starting to pay attention to your thought.
The critical inner voice in your head often sets standards of perfection. No one is perfect and so the inner critic finds much reason to judge and attack. Stress is causing much disease in the world today and it seems to be difficult to manage. Negative self-talk makes managing stress a problem.
Psychologist Albert Ellis summarized the model of emotional distress or stress in his famous ABC Model. He presents it as A + B = C where:
A is the Activating event or stressor or trigger situation
B is the Belief, our thoughts and feelings about A, the stressor
C is the Consequence or the physical, emotional, and behavioural responses that are caused by our belief.
Activating Event (Stressor) + Belief Learned = Consequence or Result (Stress)
You are better able to deal with the challenges you encounter when you do away with negative self-talk.
Destructive thinking is the hidden cause of stress. Take it away and you overcome stress. You learnt to think in such a negative way. You can unlearn it.