Rick Warren - Seven (7) ways to Handle Conflict and Restore Broken Relationships

Conflict never resolves itself. Time doesn't heal all wounds as popularly said.

We never change until our love or the pain exceeds our fear. The starting point is to say "God fill me with your love"; because perfect love casts out all fear.

1. Make the first move: The only way to resolve a conflict is to face it

2. Ask God for wisdom: (never have conflict resolution while you're in bed or tired)

3. Begin with what's your fault: Don't start with accusations towards the other person about what they did wrong or the fact that you are hurt. Even though the other person may be 99.9% wrong, you can find something you did wrong to use to start the conversation.

First look at what's going on inside you. The first cause of conflict is self-centeredness regarding what's going on inside of you. If I'm filled with peace/love almost nothing upsets me. If I'm filled with me/ego/pride/self centeredness almost anything can tick me off.

The real source of conflict is not all those jerks you work with because if you were filled with peace they wouldn't bother you. The first cause of conflict is self centeredness when my must-have wants bump up against your must have wants….we got a problem. James 4:1

When I'm at peace inside, what's going on outside can't upset me. Though you may disagree you won't get distressed. You are distressed by what's going on inside you because of your response to what's going on around outside you. The number one reason given for divorce is incompatibility but nobody is compatible because we are all different nobody is exactly like you.

It's always more rewarding to resolve a conflict than to dissolve a relationship. It's not incompatibility that causes a marriage to die, it's inflexibility. Proverbs 13:10

Sentence that will break a logjam in any argument is - ’’I'm sorry I was only thinking about myself.‘’

When seeking to resolve conflict, ask yourself if you've been unrealistic, insensitive, ungrateful, over-demanding

4. Listen for their needs, hurt and perspective: It's not ideas that cause conflict but the emotions behind the idea. Hurting people hurt others. The people who are most irritating are those who need massive doses of love. You need to know the hurt that caused specific people to hurt you.

Be quick to listen and slow to speak. It will make you slow in getting angry.
The key to diffusing conflict is to always listen before speaking. Listen to the emotions behind the words. Someone can say they are fine when you ask them but they are pissed off. Listen twice as much as you speak. Philipians 4v15.

You're most like Jesus when you're focusing on the needs of someone else other than yourself.

Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. SCOPUS - Try to learn the background and circumstances of the person you're in conflict with so as to understand why they behave like they do. Stop looking at how far people have to go but start looking at how far they have come (Romans 15v2). You will be more compassionate for someone when you look at/consider the fears driving them.

Continued here: https://anointedlinks..com/2018/03/rick-warren-learn-how-to-resolve.html?m=1

Cc@RoyalRoy

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