i met this lady,we were very good friend before i went for NYSC service(no intimacy) and after i came back i proposed to her,but to my greatest surprise she begin to aviod me. after much talks and serious discussion with her,she made me to know that she want us to be friend alone,to cut long story shorth,people(my siblings,my daddy,her friends,her siblings and our friends in church) got involve knowing fully well about our friendship but she couldn't gave them a genuine reason for her action,after "2" two year we were on that issue without no positive outcome(yet we were still very good friend). i left her and got marrried to another person.after my wedding[feb 2010] she now begin to behave funny like,trying to call at night for free night calls,flashing me to call back(as before),beign rude to my wife,gaining my attention to her even when my wife is around in the crowd, to the extend of asking me if i have ever told my wife about her(CAPITAL YES) e.t.c i told my wife about her new moves,she knew and aware about her funny behavour.what and how can i handle this situation without affecting my marriage and digracing my former girlfriend

this is just a source of trouble where there shouldnt be any. she had her chances, blew it and now is probably bitter because the other guy who she had in mind all along dropped her like a bag of crisps.

my sincere advise to you is: that friendship AND this gal is poisonous. . . . . . get rid of both and live happily ever after with your wife!!!!!

how can i  handle this situation without affecting my marriage and digracing my former girlfriend

This question contains the true context of your whole situation.
You are worried about "affecting" your wife. Why are you not worried about the fact that you are disgracing her and hurting her? You know even without realising it you haven`t gotten off that girl and you are still ready to have her back. You never really put an end to the relationship. Who knows your true motive of going into this marriage, maybe even to show her that you can get another.
There are clear ways of telling someone NO at the first time. Say it in such a way that she gets the message, even at the cost of being rude.
All you are doing now is humilating your wife. If you don`t put an end to this immediatly you will soon fall back to that girl.
Are you the first married man?
Many men have relationships even while being married but the girl does not get that bold.
The simple truth is that you are giving her the go ahead to do what she is doing.

Call her bluff, she had her way and she misused it like one poster said leave everything in the hand of your wife and nobody will tell her to back off. She is just out there to destroy your home. Be wise.

@Acidosis thanks for your kindy advice,though i ve been doing that before but now i would intensify doing that which you have told me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@mylove4him i would be wise just as you have said without leaving no space for her(no matter how little it may be).thank God i didn't hide anything from my wife about that lady, she(my wife) have been understanding and surportive in this situation,

"how can i handle this situation without affecting my marriage and digracing my former girlfriend"


Hey Mr. Dummy OP. Why you worried about disgracing the former girlfriend? Loser man you don't deserve your wife. You are to much into your own vanity and your ego is exagerrated by you pitiful former girlfriend. The only victim I see is your wife. The wife should dump a weak man like yourself, because you lack commitement to her. You should not have any children and get a vascetomy.

@iuap thanks,for you not understanding my story(just because you are not in my shoe). i dont know whether you are a man or woman, so i reserve my comment,more so,i love my wife and she knows(even in commitment to her) that is why she so cooperating and understanding since i didnt hide anythings(no matter how small it may be)from her.

A simple case of wanting what you can't have.