Hello every one in the house.

I am getting marry in few weeks from now and I'm afraid with the story of spouses having problem with their in-laws.

Please. can someone share with me how to avoid in-laws' problem

tobaoye:

Hello every one in the house.

I am getting marry in few weeks from now and I'm afraid with the story of spouses having problem with their in-laws.

Please. can someone share with me how to avoid in-laws' problem

You wanna avoid inlaw(s) problems eh? ok start by saying " I am getting married. . . . . " not marry

Second off, you still wanna avoid problems ehn? Ok just be yourself

If you want to AVOID in-law problems dont get married.

If you want to deal with such problems, then thats a different kettle of fish.

jennykadry:

You wanna avoid inlaw(s) problems eh? ok start by saying " I am getting married. . . . . " not marry

Second off, you still wanna avoid problems ehn? Ok just be yourself

be yourself and stay out of trouble

love them for who dey are and for giving u a wife/husband, treat them the way u will treat ur parent, and be the best u can

dont call it problem call it challenges.
Note,deal with ur woman wisely and ur inlaw will follow

I think that by now you should know what to expect from your inlaws, who they are, what they do, how they treat other 'wives' in the family etc, this will determine what will hapen to u after ur marriage. But from ur question i have a feeling that u either don't know them or u are already seeing some bad symptoms in them
But a sincere question i will want you to answer is 'How do u treat or see them now? and how do you treat the people you are 'inlaws' (your brother's wife, uncle's wife, cousins's wife etc). Do u take them as ur own sisters or as 'IN-LAWS'.
Life is like a mirror. you smile at it you get a smile back, you frown at it, u get a frown back.

Dash them plenty money!

Do not live in the same town with them!
Just go and visted them, if you absolutely must!
Do not let your wife/man be like CCN NEWS or Sky NEWS to there family.
If they ask you for something, tell them you will pray about it and god will make a way, if it is in his plan!
And stay out of there family business!

The way I handle mine is that all transactions (both material, financial or whatsoever ) to my family goes through my wife  and the same way,  from my wife  to her family goes  through me; for now, I am their best  son in-law they ever had despite the challenges they brought forward at the initial stage due to the fact that we are not from the same states

@ poster, you did not indicate your gender which is very important in treating your case.i will start by assuming that you are a man.
first of all, the beginning of your relationship with your wife will tell you whether to be close or far from your in laws. many men who stated marriage as a car owner and owner of other attractive properties will always be welcome but later be rejected for failing to be up to expectations in financial helpings.

This is an interesting topic, i really want to read the responses in this thread.

dont LOVE them rather RESPECT them. Let everyone know their boundaries cos no matter how hard u try, you wont be able to please ALL ur inlaws.
Never argue with them NEVER, rather pull ur boo aside and explain ur side of the story, let him handle it.
finally, NEVER start battles you cant win (My mum told me this on my wedding day)





Been married 7 yrs with 1 child.

otukpo:

In-laws problems will not keep u from getting married.
So deal with it as it comes.
But always be urslf and if possible, [color=Black]spend less time with them.[/color]

The truth and nothing but the truth. I apply this highlighted method and it works for me. some people who don't know me very well mistake me as being too private but I am being diplomatic[color=Black][/color]

101 on inlaws? Well it will start on what kind of people they are, because your best bet is to stay away from them and only visit them at christmas, but if they are the interfering types it will make it a bit difficult. Respect them, they should respect you back dont mingle too much with them, dont go overboard to please them only give what they ask and if you dont have do what you can. Dont get involved in family feuds, if anybody wants to start trouble with you tell your spouse about it and leave it there, whatever you do- DO NOT accomodate any of them, there will start the gossip and from there will start the problems!

someone here said, it is challange and not problem. that is right.
the first step will be for u to stop listening to those who have problems with their inlaws and start listening to those who have good relationships with their inlaws.
tell God what u want in ur marriage and give it ur best.
if u are having problems with ur parents, look at it very well and see if u are the course, change ur life style and u will not have problems with ur inlaws.
be informed that those who told u abt their problems have different stars from u so u can never be them.

If you consider in laws who took care of your "SWEET HEART" before your sighting him or her as problems, then don't get involved in marriage institution. STAY SINGLE

@ Poster, be the loving, humble girl they like now. Respect them always

Keep the gossips (usually female inlaws) at arms length.

Otherwise, just be yourself.

To avoid in laws problem is quite easy. Never encourage anyone to live with you including your own parents too. Also, any time they come for visitation, give them maximum satisfaction. http://getconceive.com

you will also know how to treat them depending on how they treat your spouse.

You will know how to treat them depending on how they acted out on your wedding preparations and occassion.

Don't be too kind, don't be too mean, friendly distance

Draw the line on what you like and don't like, too much familiarity especially with in laws breeds contempt.
{You are not allowed to walk into my room without knocking simply because it is your brothers house, it is now fully my house, you,  in laws are just visiting.]

When you make a decision with your spouse he is not allowed to change it because his siblings wants it changed.

see how you dey tabon, na so you go blow them heads off on your wedding day/ berra not give any speech

First of all,it depend on your inlaw attitude.you need to study them and know what they like and not like.Atleast let there be somebody that you are close to in their family.make friends with those that have a good relation ship with their in law.And let me warn you,dont listn to those that have a sour relationship with theirs!and always pray to God to guide you in dealing with them.

Most of the misunderstanding with in laws is due to misconception,heresay and due to what somebody have heard from others.Am sure if you treat your in laws like your own family there would be no trouble.am not saying you should be too familiar o!same time dont be too far!.

Good Luck!

to get out of in-laws problem, say no to some family members, dnt follow all what they say, ur opinion is the best coz ur the person in charge and not them, any body that wont add anything to ur family[neglect that person] and are they d 1 getting married,facing family issues? NO, ur d 1, so deal with them with wisdom and principle, BE BEST U CAN B, B REAL AND SINCERE, DNT RISK UR HAPPINESS TO THEM,

LOL! cook plenty of assorted foods for ur spouse, TALK TO GOD for HELP and GUIDANCE,WISDOM to stay with dem,

were r u getting married to?, ***********

first of all are u 4rm ur husbads state/tribe if yes you wont have much problems with them if no you will definitly encounter so many problems with them; now the best way to avoid them is:
1. Be youself let them either love you or hate you for whom you are
2. define your stand
3. dont be onyeoma emeka (good girl) cos the day you will stop or backslide, you will hate urself
4. respect them
5. There should be limits to visitation
6. if your husband builds a house outside the family house; never i repeat never allow you mother to move in with you guys she should remain in her husbands house unless there is a very good reason for her to do so
6. Above all love you mother in law and treat her nice

NB: Do not forget to make one of them your very good friend who can always stand for you.

Pray to have a GOOD and [b]UNDERSTANDING [/b]inlaws,dats all.

Pray to have a [b]GOOD [/b]and [b]UNDERSTANDING [/b]inlaws,dats all.

MY DEAR, YOU CAN'T AVIOD IN-LAW'S PROBLEM AT ALL ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY START THEIR WHAAA HAAA LAAA. My advice to you is to marry but study them very well in order to know their character from the moment you move in.

Don't ever rely on any of them until you are able to witstand them at same time know you bundries. Don't laugh with them too mush so not to invite insult sooner than you might think. Most of all give everyone their due respect and pls don't tell them your top secrets it will only back fire on you.

Speaking for myself, i did my best for both my Mother and Sister-in-law but all they did was to repay me with evil. I've learnted my lesson so I don't allow any member of my in-law's  into my house any more. It's my hubby that go to visit them once a while. Which is good for me. 

omotodra:

MY DEAR, YOU CAN'T AVIOD IN-LAW'S PROBLEM AT ALL ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY START THEIR WHAAA HAAA LAAA. My advice to you is to marry but study them very well in order to know their character from the moment you move in.

Don't ever rely on any of them until you are able to witstand them at same time know you bundries. Don't laugh with them too mush so not to invite insult sooner than you might think. Most of all give everyone their due respect and pls don't tell them your top secrets it will only back fire on you.

Speaking for myself, i did my best for both my Mother and Sister-in-law but all they did was to repay me with evil. I've learnted my lesson so I don't allow any member of my in-law's  into my house any more. It's my hubby that go to visit them once a while. Which is good for me. 

what happened to "our" house. are you saying your mother-in law would be barred from visiting even for a day?

Great Topic,
Honestly, in-laws and friends of the spouse are the same so i will give you my best advise i have

Treat them as you would if they were your family or friends, if they react negatively then abeg, let them relate through their child (your spouse) o, otherwise every word you say will be used against you when they report to your spouse

This attitude kept my marriage when my in-laws set about ruining it. My aunts -in -laws insisted i stop calling their children who were my friends before the union by name or nicknames which we had all been using for over a year, they even went as far as telling me what i can cook or not cook for my husband, same applied to how i was relating with my own child.

Every time, they started i just smiled and yet they went reporting to my husband that i was been a bully and wanted everything my way, after much back and forth, my husband was forced to tell them to let us run our home, its been over a year and they aunts are yet to visit again but their kids come around