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HOW TO USE CHOOSE AND USE THE ROD IN "SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD"

I don’t know if I am writing this because It affected me through a female friend of mine but am writing it anyway. I believe it is a good thing to train up a child in a godly way but then I strongly dispute the way it is done in Africa. Spare the rod and spoil the child as it was written thousands of years ago can be applied to this twenty first century. Great now we know that a rod is not to be spared when it comes to disciplining a child. But why do Africans take things to the extreme? It was not written for us to use an iron rod rather it was specified as just rod.

A rod can be wooden, plastic, silver, aluminum, bronze, iron, copper and even nickel. A plastic rod can do just what it is needed to do likewise a wooden rod. All these options, Africans still would go ahead to choose the strongest one because they feel they were made of hardness. It is not fair. A wooden rod can break and then you pick up another one over and over again but when it is an iron rod, it is the bone that breaks. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Now the rod is not the literal 15mm solid building material or the leg of the table in your sitting room or the positive and negative terminals in your 13amps plug or the thunder resistor rod or the earth rod buried 3meters in the ground capital “NO” in Tahoma writing style with 20 size font and bold character. The rod we are specifying here is the method of discipline a guardian uses and probably the dose he/she dispenses to the dependant. The key is to know the kind of dependant you have under you and figuring out which rod would suite him/her. Do not as a guardian say that this was the way my momma brought me up or this is the African way of bringing a child up. Please wisdom is profitable to direct. In this age of world advancement and the rate at which technology is changing the world at 1000km/hr, guardians need to be careful and wise. Now when you discover that your child has displeasing reactions to shouting, please stop it and adjust your style. It is not all dependants you should raise your voice at especially when they have crossed to puberty or else they may keep it in there and make it grow with them developing into hatred for your choice or red.

Using fist to correct is risky. You could just be training him/her to become stronger then one day, you may be surprise when he puts up a good defense and even adds an attack to it. It is not only criminals that should receive fists. Your dependants are not criminals. Carefully said words are ten times stronger and efficient and effective than fists. It is also less stressful as you don’t need to swing and throw. Yes it is anger that makes people get all that brutal and I can also say part of it is as a result of lack of enlightenment. They feel it is best they handle it like Africans. Fists should only be used till about 8 years when the child can now be able to understand words very well. The only reason why you are to use spanking till that time is because the dependant understands body language more till that stage so when it gets too that stage and upward, a new rod should be picked up and the other discarded. The new rod is the rod of verbal. Verbal talks about the mouth, words, talking, speaking, saying, voice and so on. These should be strong and solid words which can come out in different ways to the recipient. As a guardian, depending on the situation you should toss them playfully or seriously or even angrily ass the case may be. When you are angry, you say a lot of inordinate things that you begin to realize when the normal thinking comes back to operation that is why I recommend you use fewer words when you are angry. A wise man once said that when you are angry, you should shut your mouth and open your eyes. You know why? Anger is an emotion and when you become angry, the emotion of anger rises to a bossy level and takes control of the brain so that it is the emotion that is controlling the thinking and not the brain and this always leads to mistakes.

In this case, one cannot completely shut the mouth because this is about discipline you know. I am only saying that you should think more here. See the reason why that has happened and say something about why it shouldn’t have happened and how it can be avoided. In giving freedom to our dependants, we should be compassionate about it and also implore emotions in the process. There is some amount of freedom you should allow your dependant have. The ones they have earned as a result of their maturity and also exposure. Do not withhold freedom from a child who has earned it. It is just like how you feel when your salary is withheld and you can’t complain because if you complain, you might lose the job. The child does not complain or protest because of fear of losing other things just for complaining. If that dependant has the capacity to get that freedom elsewhere without the risk of losing shelter, clothing, food, I bet a million dollars that he/she wouldn’t spend one more second under your roof.

Most guardians do all they wish to the dependant because they know the child has no other alternative or place to go to therefore he/she has to obey. You need to change the thinking that he is staying under your roof and must obey everything you order. When your dependant reaches a mature age, stop monitoring his/her private life. Leave his/her Facebook handle alone and let them choose what to do with their life. Even God gave us life and gave us choices. Your job is to guide and advice while his/her part is to choose and face the consequences of the choice. Don’t force your little sister to unfriend a friend because you found out that she is chatting with the friend what you don’t like. Let her know why you want her to stop being a friend to the person and then let her do the unfriending herself.

HANT – Have a nice time

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