₦airaland Forum

Hell of a Place

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Bill.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw Kenneth Starr, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Clinton stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

man dis guy is wise:

The Affair

A husband and wife are driving along the Motorway doing 55 mph.
The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house."
Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids, too."
The husband just keeps driving faster and faster, now he's up to 80mph.

She says, "I want the car, the bank account and all the credit cards too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass pillar, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag."

Both jokes are classic

thanks man

Element G, you are doing very well in this section.
Keep it up.

Spyker:
Element G, you are doing very well in this section.
Keep it up.

thanks alot, i owe u one

WOW!!

These are damn good jokes!!

You're on a ball Element - keep 'em rolling in pls. . .

dont worry i'll try my best not to overscore