2019 © Seezzy

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the writer, Seezzy

All of the names, places and objects mentioned in this narrative are nothing but the imagination of the writer. Because they are all the writer's imagination, any resemblance is nothing but pure coincidence. Thank you.

Five years after Omeiza's graduation from the university, he was jobless still. It is not as if he was a lazy person, no, in fact he was one of the hardest workers amongst his peers. A 2.1 graduate of Economics of the Federal University Lokoja, Kogi state, Omeiza Philips is a young man respected for his intelligence both during and after his stay in the University.

"God, I'm tired of trekking the whole length and breadth of Lokoja in my quest for employment," He soliloquizes aloud to himself. He hears a knock at the door of the room and parlour apartment he resides. Actually, Omeiza still lives with his parents, Mr and Mrs Philips Enesi. Omeiza goes towards the door to see who was knocking.

"Good morning, bro," Onuka greeted. Onuka and Omeiza were best of friends right from their University days. And as fate would have it, both of them were still jobless five years after graduating. Onuka was the most intelligent of the two. He even graduated as the best student of their department in their graduating set. He graduated with a CGPA of 4.95. "Oh boy, wetin dey happen na? I've been knocking since and it seemed as if there was no body left at home, I hope you've not been thinking?" He inquired.

"Mtcheeeeew. You know me too well na and you know my predicament — I mean our predicament. For how long are we going to continue living this type of life? For how long are we going to continue begging for as little as 500 Naira from our retired parents? I mean, because they're aged and retired and the fact that they are our parents, is it not our turn to start taking care of them, having sponsored our education from primary to the University level? For how long are..."

"My brother," Onuka interrupts, "you've spoken well like all hardworking and sensible young men should speak. See, it's also what I was pondering upon before I left home this morning. Like you, I'm tired of being intimidated even by the people who had to depend on me during exams before they could even pass and graduate from the University. See, I've got something to tell you (He looks around mischievously). Are your parents at home?" He asks.

"No, they've gone for the Saturday morning prayers in my church", He replies. "This one you're scanning the whole house with your eyes so, I hope I'm safe o," he adds jokingly.

"Ahn-ahn, wetin you mean na," he laughs as he replies. "Wetin I gain if I wicked to a brother of mine like you?" He asks rhetorically.

"Better o!" Omeiza laughs and Onuka joins in too.

"On a serious note bro, I've discovered how we can hammer, I mean get rich and change our standard of living for the better. In fact I have..."

"Oya ka nhim na!" Omeiza cuts in.

"Calm down na, adai. It's the new craze in town now o."

"Do quick make you hit me with am na," he said with total attentiveness.

"Na pant hunting o."

"Pant wetin?" He queried
"Brother, na pant business o," he reiterates. He tries to control his anger as he sees Omeiza laughing so heartily. "Baba, why you dey laugh na? Na Gordons I bi or I look like I Go Dye I for ya eyes?"

"No na bro, no vex o. But no tell me say you believe about that pant talk wey dey spread all over on the Internet o?" He asks after he's done laughing. "Na lies and deceit na. You sef suppose reason am wella na, e make sense for your ears?"

"Adai, I was as unbelieving as you're now on this issue before until I saw Peter. You remember him na?"

"Yes, that bad guy that was always up to no good in our University days."

"Him don hammer now o. O boy, if you see him Benz now, you go bow for am o. Him na one of the biggest boys for town now o."

"Ehn, ehn. Guy, hit me well na." Omeiza gets totally interested now. "How him take hammer na? Him discover oyel for their backyard?"

"No, bro. He told me he was jobless too immediately after graduation. In fact, he told me things got so bad for him until he got tired and joined pant hunters. Na pant him discover o," Onuka replies.

"Guy, man pikin don too suffer o. I no fit continue for this sufferness again. Poverty must die because I want to spoil my father and mother. You saw what they had to go through na to see me through school."
"Are you telling me? You know I'm like a part of your family. I witnessed it firsthand. Omeiza, are you in?" He asks sternly.

"Yes na bro. See, I dey lock door now go anywhere with you sef", Omeiza adds with seriousness

"Good bro. We'll both go to either Pata or Felele market to go buy okrika pant for the ritual (Omeiza nods his head in agreement). Peter told me that it must be a used pant. Do you know why I want us to use okrika pants?" He asks.

"Nah, bro." Omeiza replies.

"It's because na oyinbo use am o. Besides, if we use Nigerian girls pant, na so-so naira go just dey come our way."

"It's true o. I just admire your intelligence the more, bro." Omeiza chips in.

"If we use oyinbo pant, na dollars we go just dey get for akkant. You know it will go a long way, especially as a result of the crashing of the Naira."

Both Omeiza and Onuka heads out to the market. They couldn't get any from Pata market, so they head towards Felele 'International' market. After almost two hours in Felele 'International' market, they head to Gadumo, where the strongest medicine man in Lokoja lived, Baba Dede. On getting to Gadumo, they get to Baba Dede's house quickly because he is very popular in the neighborhood. Then they knock on at his door.

"My pikin, make una enter o." Baba Dede answers from his room. This surprises Omeiza and Onuka because the voice was as if it was expecting them.

"Good afternoon, Baba Dede." Onuka greets as they both enter his sitting room.

"Afternoon, my sons. I know why you come here (Omeiza looks at Onuka in total amazement). You wan rich, abi no bi so?" He asks them.

"Na so, Baba." They both answer him.

"And na why una bring paiyint com, sef."

"Yes, Baba." They both answer in unison.

"Hahahahaha", he laughs very heartily. This angers both Omeiza and Onuka who had to control and hide it so as not to offend him. "But who tell una say paiyint dey make person hammer?"

"Baba, news about am full internet o. Also, one of our friends wey do am say e dey work." Onuka tells him.

"Why you know tell am to direct you to him babalawo wey do am for am?" Baba Dede inquiries seriously.

"Him say di Baba don kpai". Onuka replies. Baba Dede starts laughing in a mischievous tone. This became a surprise to both Omeiza and Onuka.

"My pikin, you know why I dey laugh? (Both Onuka shakes their head in the negative). Na because say him don play una head. Dat una friend na ordinary armed robber wey no get ABC jazz (Onuka opens his mouth in shock). He know say if him tell you ( he points at Onuka), you go cast am for town. But him know say as paiyint tori full town now, na dat one go better small to take lie. If you see any babalawo wey dey turn paiyint to money, come carry me go there make I go do 3 months IT for 'Paiyintonimics'. Na wash, my pikin."

"Baba, I think say na true him tell me o." Onuka tells Baba Dede.

"My pikin, na lies. All na wash him give you." Baba Dede affirms to him. "See, because say my forefathers dem don tell me say una dey hardworking, dem say make I tell una say una time to hammer don near finish. As dem tell me sef, both of una go get work two months from now for different international organizations. Make una no worry again. E go better."

"Thank you, Baba Dede." Both Omeiza and Onuka prostate to show their gratitude.

"Just no dey tired to send una CV to the agency wey go send email to both of una." He adds further.

"Thank you, Baba". Both of them still prostrated.

"Make una go in peace, my pikin. My forefathers go with una". Baba Dede ushers them to get up.

" Thank you very much, Baba Dede. " Omeiza replies when standing up. Onuka does same.

"My Forefathers go see una through." Baba Dede reiterates as Onuka and Omeiza exit his house.

As they walk a distance away from Baba Dede's house, Omeiza tells Onuka, "Didn't I tell you? Nothing like that, it's all a farce promoted by bloggers."

"I should have known o. That Peter is bloody liar. It's a shame that I had to fall for it. I'm no longer interested in getting-rich-quick again o. In fact, when we get to that bridge just after Old Poly Quarters, I dey trowey dem these useless paiyints we go buy for market." Onuka says.

Both young men depart for their respective homes and told no soul about their wasted adventure in their quest for money through pants. Hopefully, they wait upon Baba Dede's prophecy to come to pass.

THE END.

End Ke!
Seezzy I no dey like this kind joke

Camdan, LightQueen! I'm just joining the writers of Prose fiction. Besides, if di tori too long, I'd spoil it.

LightQueen:
End Ke!

Seezzy I no dey like this kind joke

Seezzy:
Camdan, LightQueen! I'm just joining the writers of Prose fiction. Besides, if di tori too long, I'd spoil it.

Okay give us another one.. Are'hen!!

Though I'm more comfortable with writing poetry, I'll try. But I'm done with this one. Are you from Kogi state, especially Central Senatorial district?

LightQueen:
Okay give us another one.. Are'hen!!

Seezzy:
Though I'm more comfortable with writing poetry, I'll try. But I'm done with this one. Are you from Kogi state, especially Central Senatorial district?

Alright.

Lol I'm there for now

Is Sarah the woman of Tayo's dreams? Is their union bound to last?  Find out in our new series. S. A. R. A. H.

The story.
As a teen, 18 actually, that's pretty much still teenage, I used to think a lot about my to-be wife.
I thought a lot about sex too, but, that's pretty much normal for a teenager. My to-be wife was an obsession. I'd imagine how we'd meet, where we'd meet, what she'd be like. My fantasies usually had her chocolate skinned, trim, pretty and smart.
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Short and interesting

Well done OP

Babalawo wey wan do IT? Hilarious! Nice one Seezzy

Thank you!

Ann2012:
Short and interesting
Well done OP

We dey contemporary times na. Thank you!

AryEmber:
Babalawo wey wan do IT? Hilarious! Nice one Seezzy

Scholar!