We have already experienced the Osun Elections where a political party was telling the voters that, "we are not giving you this money to buy your votes, but just to give you to at least find something to eat."
That political parties will find genius ways to buy votes is a certainty, sophisticated vote buying is a must, so don't be surprised when you see them. The parties will tell you, "If vote buying is bad, sophisticated vote buying shouldn't be, all you have to do is re-brand it."
And the UN and EU election observers remarked different political parties found new ways to buy votes, instead of giving money directly for the purpose.
So let's take a look at the different ways political parties will employ to employ people's votes in these February elections.
1. This money is just for transport back home:
They will tell you, "we don't want you to walk back home, after standing for long hours under the hot sun (when it might have even rained that day)." All of a sudden they are now Mother Theresas that care so much about your welfare. Did you tell them that you came all the way to vote without budgeting for your transport back home? As if free movement will be allowed on that day or you are travelling a long distance.
2. To appreciate yours presence, to say thank you for coming:
Unto the VIP that you are now, you are now a VVIP to them just for a day. They might even call some people to the high table.
3. Buy something for the kids while returning home:
Unto father Christmas that they are now, they now remember the kids need gifts. They celebrate their own Christmas in February, when others have long wrapped theirs up.
4. Owambe style:
These owambe political parties will cook Ofada rice and assorted foods, just name it, loads crates of beer and other drinks, the election must be won after all. They will even hire chairs and canopy and call a DJ to keep the air banging. One spirit is telling me this method will work particularly well in the South West.
5. Prayers:
You know as Nigerians, we are very religious people, we like prayers, we like praying a lot. There are political parties that don't have money, so they will decide to offer the people prayers, they will tell you that no silver or gold is more precious than God's blessings. That God's time and plan are the best, they will even be playing Drake's God's plan at the venue.
Let me not call them mushroom political parties, so you people won't bash me, even though that's what they are. You may argue at least, they are doing the right thing, they are not buying votes, they are not sharing money, but in essence that's exactly what they are doing, even better than the others, I will still tell you why. They are still finding a way round the corner, especially with financial constraints, to influence people's voting decision making.
What way works better with Nigerians than bringing God, religion into the matter? You see why they are buying votes better than the others, using a more intelligent method, going about their business strategically.
They will recruit some pastors to be on ground, just pray they don't turn the election into a crusade.
6. Lottery:
Some political parties will organize lotteries for American and Canadian visas. They are promising to make Nigeria livable, but at the same time offering you a lottery (a way out of hell, if you may say) to go live in the US or Canada. Those people that have repeatedly been turned back at Walter Carrington Crescent (US Embassy) and Canadian Embassy and forgot the way back to their houses, this is your chance, grab it with both hands and both legs, if you have to turn into a crab or octopus for a few seconds just to get it, do it. Opportunity comes only but once, don't say I did not tell you.
7. Free Wi-Fi and Recharge Cards:
This move will specifically be designed to trap the movie and games addicts in their net.
8. Cheques or Electronic Transfer:
Since giving raw cash is bad, then they can give cheques instead, just pray they don't issue you a dud cheque. Or even better to eliminate people's fears over a bounced cheque they may decide to do electronic transfers, after all, we are in the internet age and CBN is encouraging more e-transactions. Still pray it's not a fake alert, because these people they can do and undo especially when they are desperate.
9. Share jamb e-pins:
Every political party is claiming to be youth sensitive and oriented. So they will say, "to further demonstrate their commitment to youth empowerment, we are sharing jamb e-pins to ten lucky winners." Can you imagine? Just 10 lucky winners, commitment to youth empowerment indeed.
10. Free medical check-ups:
Don't be surprised to get there and see Ben Carson seated just to check your blood pressure because they want to impress you and make a statement.