Obi: Alhaji it's me. You have not been picking calls. Alhaji you are busy abi?

Atiku: Obi I have been on the phone some American diplomats. They want to know what happened.

Obi: Oga, how far with the North na... I don't like what I am hearing. I thought you ....

Atiku: Obi we are doing well. We are not doing badly. we shall win Insha Allah!

Obi: Oga, I have delivered the southeast. I have done my part. I told you.....

Atiku : Well done Obi. But you know your zone is buttered bread. It is not like this my zone where I have to confront this man whom they see as a god .

Obi : Oga did you say buttered bread? Buttered by you? Oga you see my people say....... after a race the miles are counted. Oga I told you we were wasting useful time and money in Dubai. I told you ...... Everyday... blueprint.. blueprint... blueprint!

Atiku : Obi what are you insinuating? Haba! These elections are not over. The prophetess said I would win. I trust her. Bishop of Winning told me same thing ......I trust them. Apostle also told me I will win. ........

Obi: Alhaji, so did they tell you you would lose Yobe and Borno woefully? Alhaji I don't know why you made me enter this trouble.....

Atiku : What trouble is that? I made you my running mate. Other people wanted it. you should be grateful. Did I collect Kobo from you?

Obi: Alhaji I am a businessman. If you knew you weren't ready you should have told me. Didnt you tell me you will win Adamawa easily. That every worker there is your employee? So why are you struggling to even win your state? Its embarrassing Alhaji. Where are your workers Alhaji?

Atiku: Obi look Obasanjo is calling me. The last time he called me he was shouting on me on the phone. I don't want to take his calls again. That is a man wh couldn't even win his local govt area for me talking to me like his houseboy. Was I supposed to rig the elections?

Obi: Alhaji I warned you about all these people. Look at that bigheaded one from Kwara who didnt allow anyone come near campaign funds. These are the people you relied on Alhaji. A man who couldn't even retain a senatorial zone his family has possessed for 40 years.

Atiku: Obi honestly I am shocked. Wallahi.....

Obi: Alhaji beg no vex oo. What happened to all that our crowd in Kano? I told you when you guys were kwankwasying up and down. I told you not to trust these people with red caps. They were the people that told you to keep me out of the north. Now what did they do for you?

Atiku: Obi wallah you are right...

Obi: Alhaji I don't know what to do know oo. I am a businessman. I don't want these people to put their eyes into my business oo. Please call Bishop Hassan Kukah and General Abdusalam. Tell them to take us to the Villa. So we can tell this man it was all politics and he may forgive. ......Let us go and congratulate him ooo

Atiku: Obi! It's too early na. We must keep hope alive

Obi: Which hope?... Hope from northeast or hope from Kano and Kwara? .........

Alhaji if you wont do it, n'aha Chineke, I will call Buhari myself and congratulate him. I cant come and sink with you. I am still young oo

Ugo Egbujo

Lmao lalasticalala

sounds so real, until you mentioned "abeg no vex"