“We would have given you a honorary MBA. That is how we beg people like unto thee.”
- one of the adversary (10th of March, 2019).

Of course, when I say that the adversary made of the nudity of my body, and of my mind, and of my actions, and of my possessions; a public property – to be ridiculed, to be abused, to be insulted, to be raped, to be plundered, to be defrauded, and to be thwarted of any meaningful achievement – the blind, the fool, and the naïve will even then not realise that it is to accomplish the last objective (thwart of any meaningful achievement) that ridiculous sums of money have been demanded of me for such things as accommodation and education, and for almost twenty years now – if not more.

As an example, six hundred thousand naira for a three-bedroom apartment in Bodija, that I may then have to pay two hundred thousand for the same apartment in Akingbade – in an age and in an era when a civil servant on Grade Level Twelve, with almost fourteen years of experience in the civil service, earns less than seventy thousand naira per month. As another example, eight hundred thousand naira for a Masters programme in a public university, in an age and in an era when I (as a civil servant on Grade Level Twelve, with almost fourteen years of working for the civil service) earn less than seventy thousand naira per month. And (just to prove the intent behind the plots that came about such fictitious figures) in the same town where a cab driver will demand no more (or even less) than a hundred naira from you, for you to be carried a distance that you would definitely have had to pay a whole lot more for – were it truly the economy that has landlords and tertiary institutions demand such ludicrous amounts from the Ikoro Iyineleda whose life they all continue striving to be an entire waste. And (just to prove even more the intent behind the plots that came about such fictitious figures) in the same country that has another public university from another region demand not up to two hundred thousand naira, for the same post-graduate programme I have to pay eight hundred thousand naira for.

Of course, it will be obvious to any but the blind, the fool, and the naïve; that the intent behind all these cunningly conceived plots is to thwart me of any meaningful achievement, as has been stated above – to thwart me of such accomplishments as having absolutely any means of moving out of my supposed father’s house; that I be then dependent (emasculated, crippled!- until I finally could, after forty years and older) and that the following words once uttered by the adversary may be then fulfilled,

“You will live in your father’s village until you’re all-dead.”

And (again obvious to any with even a semblance of common sense) that a man that had no other means of moving forward in life but through the academia may be then thwarted of any means of enrolling for a post-graduate degree – until two decades have passed, and all his peers (ever pursuing, ever hearkening only after that which he would that he be) are professors in tertiary institutions of learning.

Thus, that I can move into my own home almost two decades after I graduated from the university with a first degree (and, mind you, not in absolutely any way courtesy of the miserly “salary” I referred to above) and that I can enrol for a post-graduate degree after an even longer period of time has gone on by, are both accomplishments that the adversary worked against to that extent where – now they have been accomplished – they both have to even then be thwarted by the cunning of such evil as the afflictions I have had to endure in every neighbourhood I have ever moved to in damned and accursed Ibadan, and the extremely harrowing conditions under which I have had to study for a Masters degree at the University of Ibadan.

Of course, O Fool, thou wilt definitely prefer to grant a honorary degree to one who was granted admission into thy universities on each of the three occasions he deigned to attempt thy Universities Matriculations Examinations, and who led all others to attain not only the second position in the entrance examinations for Great Ife’s MBA programme, and the first position in the class of a post-graduate diploma he earned later on – still at Great Ife, but the highest grade also in the Test of Proficiency in the English Language of thy premier university. Not only that thou may then place a Michael Jackson in a boxing ring, or that thou may then have an Albert Einstein be no more than another of the thugs used by thee in the intrigues of thy politics; but (and most obviously) that thou may in all its entirety thwart him of any meaningful achievement.

Pele, ode. I will accept absolutely none of thy honorary certificates. Even Nelson Mandela worked for the degree he earned in prison. And (just like him – then) I’m speaking from prison – Cell Block M.

Thank the myriad of Fools set in thy many high places that I even accepted thy offer to study for a post-graduate degree in any of thy universities. It is a decision that I in all its entirety regret today. To that extent where I realise now why the rumour is that either Wole Soyinka did not graduate from thy school, or he could graduate only with a Third Class degree – and then have thee “beg” him later with a professorship that needed neither a Masters nor a doctorate degree.

Thou will say that he then has accepted thy “begging.” Did Nelson Mandela accept thy begging also? Beg on. Speaking from Cell Block M, there’ll be no repentance for the sentence I’m serving here – not even should thou come with seven-fold that with which thou begged either Soyinka, or Mandela, or both; not even should thou come with seven-fold that which thou has plundered of me. Art thou still thinking of a mere honorary MBA degree? Dream on.

Seven-fold is that which I demand of thee – for now. And even if then, there’ll be no repentance; I’ll serve my sentence in Cell Block M, for life- to teach FOOLS like unto thee a lesson that History will never forget.

The life that I choose to live, I plead guilty.

And I say once more: Pele, ode.

You may begin to waste even yet another ten years of my life – even as thou hast wasted the last twenty with cunning like unto the ridiculous amounts of money demanded of me for that only which could have granted me progress in life. Am I still demanding for seven-fold? It was four-fold a decade ago. Waste another ten years, please; and I promise all thee and thine that it will become no less than ten-fold.

Pele, ode.

Ni aiye,
ni orun,
ni abe ile;
mi o gba
ebe.

And I lift my hand to Heaven,
and I swear, As He lives for ever,
I will whet my glittering sword,
and my hand will take hold on judgment,
I will take vengeance on my adversaries,
and will requite those who hate me.
I will make my arrows drunk with blood,
and my sword will devour flesh –
with the blood of the slain and the
captives,
from the stiff-necked heads of the enemy.

Kill Gates (10th of March, 2019).

And therefore, I cannot even study further?

All because I wrote a letter?

That I may work for the very best result in a post-graduate diploma class, only to be rewarded with a fake certificate? That I may gain admission into a Masters programme with the very best result, only to have to drop out with what definitely was one of the worst results of that class in particular? That you may even begin to run thy mouths to insolently brag of thy intent of building a fake Harvard University, that thou may then enjoy to the fullest thy reality television derision show?

And therefore - all because I cannot even study further - there is absolutely nothing of that which the world has done in the last two hundred years, and of that which the world will do in the next two hundred years, that will be accorded a place in History.

As He Who being GOD is my Creator.

1800 till 2200.

9th of April till my Creator squares up with all that is creation.

You will of course think (just like the imbeciles that already are trying to pacify with the words, "You're educated" that you can come in a few years' time or more, with appeasements like unto thy honorary degrees; just as you honoured W. B. Yeats with a Nobel he accepted to prove he knew not why he had to keep on revising his work, why he had to think lack of concentration the reason behind his inability to study; just as you had Obafemi Awolowo believe he ever was a man of the people, only to have him die as the best president Nigeria NEVER had.

Think very carefully, very well; before thou ever approaches me with any such recognition of an achievement wrought not by my very own hands. Because - should thou - I swear by He Whose Grace has me do all that I do, that I will lay a curse on you then; to thy face, in thy hearing - even as I will continue to lay it on thee behind thy back.

- Ikoro Iyineleda (17th of May, 2019).