There is a fine line between being a good listener and just waiting for someone to finish speaking so you can reply. In the latter, you don’t pay attention to what the person is saying because your mind is fixed on what you want to say.

When you are a good listener, it eases communication and encourages your partner to open up to you some more. How then can you become a better listener?

1.) Put aside distractions

If you were holding on to your phone, put it down. If you were watching TV, switch it off. Even if you were thinking of something earlier, tune out of it and focus your attention on your partner.

2.) Do not interrupt

You don’t know how long it may have taken your partner to speak out. So once the flow has started, don’t cut it even if you have a different opinion.

3.) Show that you are following

At appropriate times, nod or say things like ‘yes’ or ‘uh-huh’. It encourages the person to keep going and assures your partner of your attention. Maintain eye contact too.

4.) Ensure that you understand what is being said

If you find yourself lost at any point, instead of just going with the flow, gently interrupt to seek clarification.

5.) Watch your temper

If what your partner is saying is beginning to anger you, try to keep calm and hear him out. He may have a point that you never realized before. More so, cutting him off in anger tells him not to express himself again.

6.) Take the required action

After listening, there must be a required action. It could be to explain yourself, proffer a solution, advice, or to apologize.You don’t just listen without following through with the right action.

Listening is a skill that is honed over time. Keep doing your best to get better at it.

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