HOW I MURDERED A BOY FROM MY NEIGHBOURHOOD CALLED CHIBUIKEM- Please, Read With An Open Heart. His Family Should Also Find A Place In Their Heart To Forgive Me.

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I live in a kind of house that makes it almost impossible for even a wall gecko to gain access.

Secondly, any other thing that is not a human being that manages to gain access into the house will practically die of hunger and starvation because once I'm done with the meals, everything is washed squeaky clean... I'm that wicked LOL.

But then, you know that in this world, usually there are some exceptions to the rule.

One of such is one "Belgium rat" otherwise known as "Oke Amusu" in Igbo language with a Suzuki power bike on his feet... I named him Chibuikem.

Meeeeehn that rat 'show me pepper!'.

His late brother whom I also killed last year practically tore through the mosquito net covering my bedroom window, gained access into my bedroom and almost disappeared but I caught him, bottled him up and suffocated him to death for trying to bite me.

But this very boy... Hmmm! I call him (the rat) Chibuikem... Do you know why? I've been on his trail for a long time and he always escapes.

At one time, I almost considered buying one rascal, creepy cat from a neighbour to come and deal with him but then, that cat own sef na hin bad pass.

Sometimes I have a feeling that he had Odeshi tied around his waist cuz that boy always practically disappeared all the time that I encountered him.

He was my nightmare for months. That boy dug a hole through the concrete below my sitting room door frame and ate his way into the house. To add salt to injury, he ate my power generator carburetor with his teeth.

He was about destroying the refrigerator when I finally decided to do something about his stupid rascality.

I guess according to his name 'Chibuikem', he prays to his god whenever he was about going on rampage in my home, so I also decided to pray for him to "kpeme" for my own hands too.

Being a very religious, criminal of a rat, I decided to make a one-time investment on his behalf to buy him a "Rat Bible".

It was an IPO, not Initial Public Offer but an "Initial Private Offer". I garnished it with a One-time-offer "OTO" (Alias: Chop and die). It was a piece of smoked fish graced with some little, sexy sauce placed right within the Bible.

I stepped back and looked right within that Bible and realized how beautiful and powerful that sales copy was; like a masterpiece by Czar Nnamani Czar Anikulopo Nonso.

...And the idiot fell for it hooker, line and sinker!

I switched off the lights that night, dived on top of my bed like "Jimmy super-fly Sanuka" (if dem don born you that time); crossed my legs and slept off like a day old baby (knowing too well say 'I Don Blow".

After about two hours, I started hearing someone crying in distress.

So I stepped out of my vu'ggin' bed, out of the vu'ggin' room and into the vu'ggin' sitting room... Lo and behold, there lies the thief right within the "Rat Bible" and hooked on the OTO within the sales letter like crack.

I thought to myself: "How best do I punish this 'Nicur' adequately for all his sins against me?

So as a bad, sharp guy, I remembered that I just got a fresh Aboniki balm not long before then.

So I quietly went into my bedroom, scooped a sizeable portion of the Aboniki, went back to the sitting room, turned up my sound system and played "Adekunle Gold- Ire" for the rat and then went back to him and rubbed him plenty of the Aboniki on both eyes capable of restoring Samson's eye sight after the Philistines dealt with him with the help of Delilah.

Similarly in his own case, his Delilah was the fish and I brought him help from Above by the help of Aboniki but unfortunately, he never lived to tell the story.

In this new week, avoid every form of Delilah.

On the other hand, have you heard that Garlic is the world's most effective insecticide that deals with mosquitoes ruthlessly?

Get 3-4 cloves, cut them into three places, drop them at the four corners of your room and go to bed. You can also use it to stop catarrh within 30mins.

Consistent use also clears phlegm from the lungs.

Try it and thank me later.

#TheOnlineMillionaire

Funny story @Op, one small rat don pursue me from my room because I killed his elder bro. As for the garlic I will try it because me and mosquito don almost turn like APC and PDP,

Lol... Those people can be crazy sometimes. The garlic works for real.