The images of machetes dripping with blood and the screams of mothers pleading for their babies’ lives are memories Grace Mukasekuru can still see when she closes her eyes.

The 37-year-old Dubai resident, who is a survivor of the Rwandan genocide, lost her parents and most of her extended family and friends in the 1994 genocide carried out by the Hutus against the Tutsis over a period of 100 days.

For Grace, the struggle today goes beyond the physical scars that sit on the back of her head, as she still battles the loss of her family members who were never found and the nightmares she experienced at just 13 years-old.
Having escaped death so many times during that period, she recalled a night that has been carved into her memories by the sound of thumping bodies and last cries.

Laying still on the bare ground, with the weight of a dead body on top of her, Grace tried to look lifeless among a sea of dead bodies, some being her family’s - hoping to survive one more time.

I pretended I was dead and I laid there all night, all I can remember is the moonlight and the smell of blood. ’’
- Grace Mukasekuru | Dubai resident, genocide survivor
“I was hit on the back of my head with a bat and I fell on the ground. A young man who worked for us was killed and he fell on top of me.
“I pretended I was dead and I laid there all night, all I can remember is the moonlight and the smell of blood,” she said.

It was on that day that Grace along with a few of her siblings and relatives were accidentally reunited and went into hiding before being ambushed by the Hutu militia.
“They lined us up in the courtyard and started killing everyone with machetes. I can still remember them killing my uncle’s wife who carried her baby on her back,” said Grace.
“She dropped on the ground but her baby was alive. The killers had gone back into her house to steal her things when the baby started crying - so they came back to kill it.”

A childhood smeared by blood

Being the middle child in a family of 11 children, Grace who comes from a Tutsi family described her childhood as a “blessing” full of happy memories in her town of Kimisange in the Rwanda's capital, Kigali.

Two of her elder siblings lived abroad, while Grace and her eight siblings lived close to their uncles and cousins in a housing complex they referred to as the “compound”.

She enjoyed regular weekend stays at her grandparents’ home where she mingled with her cousins and relatives and embraced the “big family” life.

During her last family gathering, days before the start of the genocide, Grace said she had “an internal feeling” that something was wrong and asked her uncle to take her home.
She was right. Grace returned home just in time to see her parents one more time.

First day of the Genocide

“The memories I have of that day is the look on my father’s face as he listened to the radio - it was a look of concern. He wasn’t smiling as usual because he understood what was coming - we didn’t,” said Grace.

As Hutu groups began taking over towns, slaying every Tutsi in sight regardless of age and gender, fear and chaos began spreading into every neighbourhood.

Lists of wanted people were announced by the Hutus and people were “hunted like animals”, said Grace.
Tutsis were identified solely through their physical features such as height and nose shape, and not through dialect or accent as everyone in Rwanda spoke the same language - Kinyarwanda.

“My father, older brother and uncles left that day to go into hiding - that was the last day I saw my father- how I wish I could see him smile again.”
It was soon after when Grace along with her mother, younger sister and three brothers were forced to spend their days hiding in the bushes, and their nights temporarily back at home.

However, their routine for survival did not last very long, when their home was burned down to the ground.
“You run for your life”
Running from house to house, Grace and her family found refuge in a home by a Hutu family before they were once again forced to run for their lives.
Grace and two of her siblings were separated from her mother and her other siblings during another round of killings by the Hutus.

As children, we were never taught hatred. We could not understand what was happening, and we didn’t realize this was a nationwide genocide. ’’
“When there is chaos, you run for your life.”
“You are unaware of who has been left behind or who has been killed until you get a chance to take a breath,” said Grace as she referred to that day being the last time she saw her mother and two younger brothers.

Continuing her journey with two of her siblings, she hid under banana leaves, water dams, and in pot holes, and lived on raw fruits and vegetables such as sweet potatoes.

The “Military Boot”

Days after, Grace was separated from her two siblings and taken in by a Hutu woman who disguised her to keep her safe.
She recalled another imprinted memory of a Hutu man hitting her chin with his military boot, warning her that she will be killed. “I remember him saying, ‘I will kill you and send you back to Ethiopia’,” said Grace.

Returned back to her town by the Hutu woman who had managed to keep her safe for as long as possible, Grace was shortly reunited with her siblings and relatives before the massacre at her uncle’s courtyard took place, scarring her with inerasable memories.

“As I lay there between the dead bodies, I felt a heavy weight on my head where I had been hit. I tried to say a prayer, but I could hear people moaning and groaning as they took their last breaths” said Grace.
They lined us up in the courtyard and started killing everyone with machetes. I can still remember them killing my uncle’s wife who carried her baby on her back. ’’

After the sun came out, Grace shuffled out from underneath the dead body she had been laying under for hours, drenched in blood. She found her sister hiding behind the large housing complex, and her brother badly injured.
The siblings walked to the house of their father’s friend who happened to be a Hutu married to a Tutsi. There, they were rescued by Tutsi soldiers and taken to a camp where they were reunited with their uncle. They were sent to live with another uncle who resided in Kenya before finally immigrating to Canada to join their elder siblings.

Life in Canada

Grace built a life with her four other siblings, learning the language, joining school and adapting to the society.
“Children are resilient, we adapted quickly. To the outside world we’re all doing fine, but looking back, I wish we had gone through counselling.”
“We never talked about it and were thrown into a new life without questions. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time,” said Grace.
After experiencing several breakdowns, Grace realized she has to talk about her past. She decided to visit Rwanda in 2005 for the first time, on her own, and worked two jobs to save enough money for a ticket home.
On landing in Rwanda, Grace was shocked to see the change that has taken place in the city where her family’s blood was once shed.
“I was able to see a different country and create a different memory. But until this day the land where my house once stood and was demolished is empty,” said Grace.
In 2009, Grace made another trip to Rwanda after a system called Gacaca was introduced by the government to identify the victims of the genocide. Hutu members came forward to confess their killings, and Grace was given the chance to bury her father in the memorial site.

“I finally found out how he died - he was running for his life when he fell into a deep hole, and was killed by spears on his back .”
“For many, the genocide against the Tutis lasted 100 days - but for orphans like myself, it was the beginning of a life of anguish,” said Grace.

Where is Grace today?

Today, Grace is living in Dubai with her husband and her five year-old daughter who is named after her mother - “Yohanita”.
She met her husband on a trip to Dubai to celebrate her thirtieth birthday and moved to the UAE to join him in 2011.
Grace is a stay-at-home mother who says her daughter has blessed her with the strength to begin the healing process.
“We can’t change what happened, we can't bring back our loved ones, we can’t erase the horrible memories from our minds, what we can do is stand up to the people who denied the genocide- because they are victimising the victims all over again,” said Grace.
There is no formula to dealing with such an experience, Grace says. Today she is still struggling with forgiveness but does not want revenge.

“Where I am today in my journey, I cannot say I have forgiven. I still don’t know where or how my family died and if any of my younger siblings are still alive- I still don’t have closure.


https://gulfnews.com/amp/world/africa/rwanda-genocide-25-years-on-i-pretended-i-was-dead-i-lay-there-all-night-all-i-can-remember-is-the-moonlight-and-smell-of-blood-1.1554650281911

This experience should serve as a lesson to us all.
We should desist from tribal slurs, and protect our peace.
They say experience is the best teacher but in this case, IT IS THE WORST!
Nobody heals from such an experience.

SAY NO TO HATE COMMENT!
Any slight provocation could trigger war.

Cc Mynd44

God have mercy. All lives matter

Too gruesome. Thank God for her life