Richy4:


Forgive me for asking u this because I don't really understand your problem...Are u deliberately looking for a fault from the OP or is it a comprehension issues that was the problem here? .....

OP said that they were leaving in different town... he took money that he should have used for himself and sent it to her... Asked a friend that was leaving in that same town as the wife to quickly take her to the hospital..... And This happened when she has already abandoned him...Haba!!!.. What is it that u don't understand in these now... What has Cunnyman die... got to do with these?

This man is writing half truths and my comprehension is intact.
Had it been he was a woman, the question would've been, what did she do to the horseband to warrant this unfair treatment.
Do note that one of the central causes of vertigo is traumatic brain injury. Was the OP abusive to his wife for her to run when he needed her the most. You both suffered debilitating ailments within a six month span. Dude, man up and fess. Something happen of which both of you are as guilty as hell.
What do I know, the dangers of a single story!!!!

JoannaSedley:
This man is writing half truths and my comprehension is intact.
Had it been he was a woman, the question would've been, what did she do to the horseband to warrant this unfair treatment.
Do note that one of the central causes of vertigo is traumatic brain injury. Was the OP abusive to his wife for her to run when he needed her the most. You both suffered debilitating ailments within a six month span. Dude, man up and fess. Something happen of which both of you are as guilty as hell.
What do I know, the dangers of a single story!!!!

Vertigo that I know of and had suffered from was quite different from the One u were talking about here dear...
The first time I left the soil of Nigeria to study abroad.. I had it....According to the Doctor the reason was that I exposed myself to the severe weather conditions...leaving my head and other parts of my body unprotected even when using heater to sleep...hence the dizziness...as if the house was upside down or moving...

Besides there was no specific drug or medicine for vertigo....
The way you were trying to find faults from the Guy, I wish that he can just come out and tell you that he was abusive, characterless and a scum.. so that you can relax... I never knew anyone that wouldn't put grudges aside and save a spouse when in danger... especially when kids were involved...

grandlexuz:


Hahaha.. Bros why you di want add kerosene to my fire na? The kids are mine there is no denying that.. My joystick and theirs na same size and colour..Lol Lol... On a serious note some women can be heartless..During that period her little cousin(girl) of 15 lived with us. A girl I took as my own child.. What I saw from her my mouth cant say.. I use to be the best daddy in the world by her own words, when I got her an android at age 13, pocket money now and then for her needs etc.. When I fell sick I became Lavells Daddy..hahah ( Lavell is my sons name) During my sick period she referred to me as Lavell's Daddy unlike the "My daddy" I had always been.. Looks like a genetic thing..

If you can, forget about that woman and move on. She's bad news.

Richy4:


Vertigo that I know of and had suffered from was quite different from the One u were talking about here dear...
The first time I left the soil of Nigeria to study abroad.. I had it....According to the Doctor the reason was that I exposed myself to the severe weather conditions...leaving my head and other parts of my body unprotected even when using heater to sleep...hence the dizziness...as if the house was upside down or moving...

Besides there was no specific drug or medicine for vertigo....
The way you were trying to find faults from the Guy, I wish that he can just come out and tell you that he was abusive, characterless and a scum.. so that you can relax... I never knew anyone that wouldn't put grudges aside and save a spouse when in danger... especially when kids were involved...

We all have varied point of views. I have expressed mine so also you. Let the guy check himself. Something happened and he's trying so hard to downplay it.

Mizwisdom:


Forgive her for the sake of your kids

I love my wife immensely and all she need do is ask for my forgiveness and she will be forgiven. I fear taking her back without her acknowledging her wrong will just have her do thesame thing over and over again.. My closest neighbour ( a lady) described her as the most self centred and most wicked lady in Africa...Lol Its true she treated me like dirt at a time when I needed her most but if there is a genuine repentance we could patch things back. Otherwise I am not a mumu, life is still worth living without her..

bukatyne:


Thank God for healing. Forget about getting together with your wife, she/ your combo might be inducing stress.

You might also want to have a domestic help/relative help around with the kids.

I would have said send them to your parents however, you can't live alone now.

Thank you bukatyne. I love my kids somuch and have been there from conception. My eldest son is 7 years 5 months and the youngest 2years 8 months. I also have a daughter from a previous relationship. She is 13 and in a boarding school. Without checking I can tell you the antenatal and postnatal clinic visits of everyone of them. I carried everyone of them to vaccination exercises and stayed there in the midst of ladies. I am the dad who stays up all night trying to bring down his kids temperature with a cold tower when an administered paracetamol can't adequately do the job. When my wife abandoned me, our youngest son was 1year seven months. My delicate health meant I couldn't look after him so asked the mum to take him away. For six months she had no peace from him..Daddy daddy daddy was all she heard from him. Sometimes she will call me at midnight cos the little guy wanted to talk to me and gave her no peace. Eventually I had to get him.. I have been looking after both of them alone. I eventually will get a nanny in a couple of months as I get things sorted..

JoannaSedley:
We all have varied point of views. I have expressed mine so also you. Let the guy check himself. Something happened and he's trying so hard to downplay it.

Hahaha.. Not when you say Donald Trump is an African and expect everyone to accept it..Lol.. I will tell you what happened.. I was sick, got broke and thus became useless. Being sick and broke meant I couldn't raise the money I had promised to give her in a few months to set up a shop. Many times I heard her grumbling over the phone saying " Na yi be first man for get high blood pressure. People them get high blood pressure but them di still go hustle. Yi di just pretend" I am a very open guy so will consequently drop a few pages of my medical records so you can judge my level of pretence..

JoannaSedley:
You see. You never visited nor cared for your wife while she was sick with such a debilitating ailment like vertigo but you are wailing because she did not wait on your arm and foot. You sent money while she needed you to be there or close to you.
Cunnyman die cunnywoman bury am. Who knows how the poor woman is now. I just hope it is not Menieres she is suffering from.

Hahaha.. Chai you will make a terrible judge..Lol Justice Onnoghen can't be this impartial..hahaha.. Like someone already quarrelled you aren't objective . For seven months my life hung on a balance. Strastopheric blood pressure that would instantly kill 95% of the population. Severe palpitation, shortness of breath, dooms day panic attacks etc that saw me rushing to the emergency unit alone. Protein in urine already characterised by foamy urine meant my kidneys had already been touched by the huge blood pressure. Doing my own chores including going to the market to shop and cook on a deadly BP. 15 medications taken sofar yet my wife didn't know the name of one. Finally abandoning me on a day when I had to run around to buy one of my meds that had ran out. The list is long..

Six months after abandoning me she is down with vertigo. Despite all she did to me my first impulse is to rush there but she turns it down cos of the kids. Besides she wasn't living alone. She was with her cousin of 16. When her neighbour couldn't urgently get her to the hospital I call someone to do the job. I send money meant for my life saving medications. I call every now and then. Where is my fault? Lol

Ganjafama:
If you can, forget about that woman and move on. She's bad news.

You are right Ganjafama. She really is bad news. However love covers a multitude of sin. If she truly is repentant the kids deserve a mum and dad. Quite frankly though I doubt she could ever change.

JoannaSedley:
This man is writing half truths and my comprehension is intact.
Had it been he was a woman, the question would've been, what did she do to the horseband to warrant this unfair treatment.
Do note that one of the central causes of vertigo is traumatic brain injury. Was the OP abusive to his wife for her to run when he needed her the most. You both suffered debilitating ailments within a six month span. Dude, man up and fess. Something happen of which both of you are as guilty as hell.
What do I know, the dangers of a single story!!!!

Your comprehension is certainly not intact..Lol Have you taken time to read this thread from the first page? I live in Cameroon and have been on nairaland for over eight years. Unfortunately when nairaland crashed a few years back I lost a lot of threads.. It would have given you a better idea of how much I love my wife and profess it. That said I didn't set up this thread to look for sympathy or a pat on the back. I set it up because I wanted to get the opinion of others. Would the readily forgive a woman who treated them as trash.? Has any of them ever encountered this etc..

I am not a wife beater. Despite all I encountered I still love my wife and if I had to make a wish, it wouldn't be silver and gold at this point of my life when I am financially down. It wouldn't even be a wish for good health.. It would be a wish for her to be an exemplary wife to me.. That's how much I love her..

Now while at the hospital during her crisis with vertigo and dizziness the tested for High blood Pressure and Diabetes. Both BP and blood sugar were ok. Atsuch the doctor prescribed antimalarials. The spinning spells continued, getting worse at night. Once she slumped in the middle of the road.. A second visit to the hospital and nothing except vitamins were given. The dizziness calmed for three days then got worse again..
I decided to take matters into my own hands. After two hours of research online I stumbled on the drug Tanganil. I bought it from my town and sent to her.. Like magic the vertigo lessened on the first day and by the end of the week it was gone. It's been nine months and over now and she is perfectly ok.

Richy4:


Vertigo that I know of and had suffered from was quite different from the One u were talking about here dear...
The first time I left the soil of Nigeria to study abroad.. I had it....According to the Doctor the reason was that I exposed myself to the severe weather conditions...leaving my head and other parts of my body unprotected even when using heater to sleep...hence the dizziness...as if the house was upside down or moving...

Besides there was no specific drug or medicine for vertigo....
The way you were trying to find faults from the Guy, I wish that he can just come out and tell you that he was abusive, characterless and a scum.. so that you can relax... I never knew anyone that wouldn't put grudges aside and save a spouse when in danger... especially when kids were involved...

My brother oh! Exactly the same thing my landlord said when one of my neighbours informed him of my plight. He said courtesy demands you take your enemy to the hospital if you walked by and saw him dying. To this day I wonder how I became rubbish in the eyes of the woman I could readily give my life for.. All that because I had no money anymore.. Money yap man

sisisioge:
Haaa! Na wa o. Bet why do people get cursed with inhumane humans as spouses like this fa? Although, most of the time, they knew exactly what they were getting into. Whew!

Whew! Biko, don't go any close to her again. Love your kids and love yourself even more by continuing to fight for live while enjoying it as well. Love isn't a do or die affair, just appreciate a good person willing to walk the length of life with you in truth and respect...all the rest shall be added to you. It is well

Hahaha. You are so right. I remember vividly well the very first problem we had. We had been dating for a couple of months. She visited one evening and as we chatting I mistakenly wounded my finger with a blade. It was a big wound and blood was oozing. I expected atleast a sorry .. She just stood there blank looking at me as though I was decorating my fingers with blood. I found it disturbing ..

Quite frankly I know I will be better off without her. I am just worried about my kids. The prospect of them having a stepmum etc. I love my wife but if we had no kids moving on would have been easy..I still want her to play a role in the kids life be us together or not. She can't run away from that responsibility ..

Richy4:


Vertigo that I know of and had suffered from was quite different from the One u were talking about here dear...
The first time I left the soil of Nigeria to study abroad.. I had it....According to the Doctor the reason was that I exposed myself to the severe weather conditions...leaving my head and other parts of my body unprotected even when using heater to sleep...hence the dizziness...as if the house was upside down or moving...

Besides there was no specific drug or medicine for vertigo....
The way you were trying to find faults from the Guy, I wish that he can just come out and tell you that he was abusive, characterless and a scum.. so that you can relax... I never knew anyone that wouldn't put grudges aside and save a spouse when in danger... especially when kids were involved...

The palava donc pass me oh bro...lol.. I didn't put up this thread to look for sympathy. I had enough of that from neighbours who watched , grumbled and gossiped about how a woman put the love of money in front of her husband's life. I lived a pitiful experience with someone I cherished above everything.

You definitely right about the vertigo. Most times it is as a result of imbalances caused by different factors or nothing at all..It took my research to stumble on Tanganil. After reading positive reviews and research papers on the drug I got it for her. It worked like magic.

bukatyne:


Nice angle.

OP might have been a terrible husband who all his worth was hinged on money and as soon as that finished, there was no need to stay.

@OP: have you cheated or beaten her before? If yes, did you genuinely repent and stop?

Did you treat her like trash prior to now?

If yes, you have sown the wind and reaping the whirlwind.

However, if you have been a good husband to her, just note that she has sown the wind and will definitely reap the whirlwind elsewhere.

Get well soon.

Thank you bukatyne. I certainly have improved over the months. Though meters away from being the once vibrant me. I am looking at getting back into work force after almost two years. I am looking at a total change of carrier. Something less tedious. A few years back I studied cosmetology (skincare) out of passion and as a hobby. I plan to polish it with a few online courses from some Naija beauty schools and start doing my own beauty products ..I was impressed by the skin care curriculum of the COC beauty school , Lagos and another online programme offered by the UNN,

There is no perfect marriage nor is there a perfect wife or husband. I can't enumerate the hurt and pain my wife has caused me over the years. In the midst of all that I will never abandon her in times of sickness. In our ten plus years my wife has never gone to the hospital alone be it for headache or antenatal visits. I am the guy who accompanies his woman to antenatal visits and sits there all through. The guy who who sits by her while an iv set for malaria runs through. In a nutshell when my wife is in pain I feel that pain.Seriously! I cherished her, I loved her. She was just plain wicked in the way she treated me. Apparently she felt life had ended for me and thus she had to move on. Neighbours tried cautioning her but she dismised it with the saying " let people talk, I don't care"

Her younger brother visited us during the peak of my crisis. He was shocked to see me looking frail. My wife had been to their family compound severally and never mentioned I was sick. When neighbours and his eyes told and showed him what I had encountered his advice was " Uncle forget about my sister. Just consider her as a dead. I can't believe you still allowing her in your house.. You are a strong man. Put me in your place I will slowly kill her at night or throw her things " Now you get the picture.

bukatyne:


In some cultures /areas, a woman exiting the marriage leaves her kids behind.

They are seen as the property(ies) of the father.

The OP might have also refused her going with them.

Not at all. I respect her role as a mother. Initially she left with the younger kid who was only 19 months old. Sadly the guy wouldn't give her any peace with I want to go to my daddy every second. Eventually I had to get him. Our eldest son was 6 years three months when she left. He was so bitter with her for the way she treated me. He never wanted to see her. Over the months I have bridged the gap by having him accept her just as much.Wether we end up together or not, I still want her in the kids life.

@grandlexuz, please i read your story and it gave me hope. Please how do i get across to you, i am also going through a similar thing though my bp wa 135/75 while my sugar is around 5.8

Topleague:
@grandlexuz, please i read your story and it gave me hope. Please how do i get across to you, i am also going through a similar thing though my bp wa 135/75 while my sugar is around 5.8

Your bp is very okay bro..When my bp reduced to 200/110, I celebrated ..Lots of people will have a stroke with 200/112, but because I had seen numbers as high as 250/150, when it first tumbled to 200/112 it was relief for me.. My wassap number is 237.677499494..

whiteseed:
Oga, pls for d sake of your kids do not continue with hope Meds.U will not like ur end. I'm talking from experience. If u want to b whole again,reach me. I won't collect a kobo from u.

Can I reach you too. I need urgent help for a family member.

megareal:

Can I reach you too. I need urgent help for a family member.

Yes feel free to get across to me on wassap.. Topleague did get across to me and ever since we have been more like brothers despite the distance.

grandlexuz:


Yes feel free to get across to me on wassap.. Topleague did get across to me and ever since we have been more like brothers despite the distance.

I need to reach you too for a family member as well

obynzo:


I need to reach you too for a family member as well

237677499494 for wassap..

megareal:

Can I reach you too. I need urgent help for a family member.

ofcourse u can

The real definition of a fool is the op, I hope this won't heighten your bP.
you're sick and you failed to invite your parent(mother) to take care of you when your problem (wife) left and here you're still nurturing the thought of accepting her back. Pls are you human? you must be prophet Muhammad on Earth, he alone I know has the attribute of such forgiveness ( gentility)

grandlexuz:


237677499494 for wassap..

Chaiii... I just stumbled on this thread now,how have you been?I hope you are ok now,how are your boys doing too?

chii8:


Chaiii... I just stumbled on this thread now,how have you been?I hope you are ok now,how are your boys doing too?

Thanks for checking. I moved pass those terrible days of sickness and immense side effects from medications. My boys are doing great, bringing home excellent school results that gladens my heart to keep playing the father/mother role without ceasing.
You sound like a nice person, you can write me on wassap and it be nice to just chat and have a female friend from Buhari's country. lol
My whatsapp is +237-677-49-94-94

Herbephe1:
The real definition of a fool is the op, I hope this won't heighten your bP.
you're sick and you failed to invite your parent(mother) to take care of you when your problem (wife) left and here you're still nurturing the thought of accepting her back. Pls are you human? you must be prophet Muhammad on Earth, he alone I know has the attribute of such forgiveness ( gentility)

This guy you can vex for Africa oh.lol. Why you di call me mumu nah.lol

grandlexuz:


Thanks for checking. I moved pass those terrible days of sickness and immense side effects from medications. My boys are doing great, bringing home excellent school results that gladens my heart to keep playing the father/mother role without ceasing.
You sound like a nice person, you can write me on wassap and it be nice to just chat and have a female friend from Buhari's country. lol
My whatsapp is +237-677-49-94-94

It's well, thank God for victory but I don't communicate with people outside nairaland though (sorry if I sound rude), regards to your family.The Lord will strengthen and direct your path.

chii8:


It's well, thank God for victory but I don't communicate with people outside nairaland though (sorry if I sound rude), regards to your family.The Lord will strengthen and direct your path.

After your rudeness my BP has skyrocketed. Hahaha. Just joking. You weren't rude in anyway. I do perfectly understand your concerns. Wishing you God's abundant blessings and protection during and even after the corona wahala.

grandlexuz:


After your rudeness my BP has skyrocketed. Hahaha. Just joking. You weren't rude in anyway. I do perfectly understand your concerns. Wishing you God's abundant blessings and protection during and even after the corona wahala.

Lol... you too

Herbephe1:
The real definition of a fool is the op, I hope this won't heighten your bP.
you're sick and you failed to invite your parent(mother) to take care of you when your problem (wife) left and here you're still nurturing the thought of accepting her back. Pls are you human? you must be prophet Muhammad on Earth, he alone I know has the attribute of such forgiveness ( gentility)

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

grandlexuz:
I will tell you what happened.. I was sick, got broke and thus became useless. Being sick and broke meant I couldn't raise the money I had promised to give her in a few months to set up a shop. Many times I heard her grumbling over the phone saying " Na yi be first man for get high blood pressure. People them get high blood pressure but them di still go hustle. Yi di just pretend"

Reading the bolded above made me speechless for a few seconds.

There is a proverb in Yoruba language in one of king sunny Ade's songs that says - Aya alailowo, laya alaya that translates thus :- The wife of a poor man will eventually become another mans wife.

I have always advised men to test their woman by telling her they just lost their source of Income and see the transformation that happens from an erstwhile "supposedly" loving woman to the mans worst enemy and nightmare and once she goes rogue on the man, if the man keeps living in the same house with her, he will find it VERY difficult to get back on his financial feet as she will keep bursting his balloon with her caustic tongue.

On another Note , I just saw the below gem from one of my earlier posts and I'm posting it here to remind myself :-

Ilekokonit:
What you need in a wife is NOT Beauty......

What you need in a wife is character such that even if a die hard unbeliever comes in contact with her, the unbeliever will immediately start believing in God due to the depth of grace and character your wife effortlessly and genuinely possesses in abundance.

Good character can not be hidden and is magnetic for all to see.

The same is true of bad character, it is open for all to see.

https://www.nairaland.com/5483351/what-need-wife-not-beauty

Uyi168:
Please stop saying u still love her..
E Dea make me vex..
Just focus on ur health and ur kids..

Some men deserve what they get imagine op saying he still love that daughter of a bitch from hell.
Let him bring her back then we all will read here wife stab husband