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Today marked it exactly 22
years my mother almost killed me
the day I was sent to go and buy
salt for a Jollof Rice � that was
already on the fire .After 2
hours of waiting for me only for
my mother � to come out to see
me in front of the street doing
"Change your style",Yah!,"Another
style Wooo!, be like thaaat!!!"......I
was still "Being like that" when
my mother landed a warm
thunder slap on my left ear � .....For
complete 7 days, I was
continuously hearing "Mother in
the kitchen cooking rice � ".� � �

<b><t>Laugh Wan tear my boxer���
1)Welcome� to Nigeria� where ladies insult yahoo� Boys online �and sleep with them offline....���
2)Just imagine� telling your kids��� that You met their Mother� on Facebook free mode*��
3)I'm sure� most of you that read my posts�� ask yourself��
"Who is this Guy Self"?��
The truth is that�, Even me I don't know
myself���
4)My girlfriend's� jealousy is getting out of hand�. The other day she� looked at my Calendar� and asked me "Who is May?���
5) Witchcraft� is when u are suspecting� that your boyfriend �has a side chick,� then boom!!! �U are the side chick.���
6) Its like my �landlord daughter� has joined cult� if not why will �she be wearing� red pant & red bra� all d time...���
7) I want a God� fearing man,� after marriage� you will start requesting of iPhone�, instead of bible� and holy water, �verily verily I say to you�, your BRAIN has STRETCH MARK����
TEACHER�: What do you call someone with no body and a nose?�
AKPOS�: Nobody Knows...���
9)That moments� you are laughing��
with your mum�
Then BOOM!!! �She ask you for yesterday's change���
10)� Ladies after washing✌,cleaning and cooking� for your boyfriend� and he say� "The guy that will marry you� will be so lucky�" My sister hit him hard�� with a frying pan for manual reset���
11)Have you Ever checked �your phonebook list� when you are broke ??��You find 99% of the people saved are useless!!!!���
12)When A Nigerian �Girl Realizes How Rich You Are�, She will Be Like �"Baby, I Love� Your Mouth� Odour, It Always Turns Me On���
13)Broken heart� can cause u to buy airtime✊✊ credit and request for a polythene bag��
14)If she� doesn't scream� during sex, impregnate her� ..my brother� she will scream in labour��� .I hate stuborn girls.���
15)My neighbour �has been searching� and shouting� that his #2500 is missing� but its #1500 .I hate lies.*��
16)Be careful� who you make admin� i was a victim�. i made someone admin�� of my group�� and the person removed me ��from the group and blocked me���
17)Telling lies� started from Primary Schools� with this song - "I remember�
when I was a soldier".�
When were you a soldier?��
18)Help� me thank GOD�� I now have a property abroad.��
My friend traveled� to Canada with my earphone��� and charger�
19) I dnt want my family� to judge the way I Eat..�So I walk pass�� them with 2 slices�� of bread in my plate� and 10 in my pocket���
20)You find it hard to close �your eyes during prayers,�* *but if lips� touches yours,�*you close your eyes �like Tilapia fish!!!!!!*��
*God is watching you with microscope.*��
21) LIFE IS REALLY UNFAIR��
�When You Are Dead They Cry��
But When You Rise ��From Death They Run��
22)If U call� a girl and she is not picking...�
Just text her�
"Did you receive an alert"����
Then wait and leave the rest to God��
23)Some girls �cut dia hair� to look like Amber Rose� And boom they end up looking� like Ngolo Kante���

This is so funny

I would love to see this unfold

I need to share this asap