Benny and I


Is a fictional collection of short stories of two individuals who happen to be neighbors. While similarities to existing people, places and things that may have happened may pop up once in a while, they are unintended.

All rights reserved.

It was Sunday evening and I was lying in bed already calculating the forthcoming week. I hate Mondays. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the front door.

Whoever it was had already opened the door and was already in the living room. Footsteps were nearing the bedroom. I jumped out of bed and wore my shorts. People who live alone would agree that it's easy to become a nudist if you stay too long alone.

"Uncle spark, Sparkman the first", it was Benny. Benny, who was actually Benedicta was my friend, neighbor, and several other things.
"What's up Benny? How are you?"
"I'm good. What did you cook?"
I rolled my eyes at her in reply. Benny wore a black t-shirt matched with blue jeggings and a wicked pair of Jordan's.

"To what do I owe this visit? Or did you come to show me your Jordans?" She giggled and gave me a light punch on my biceps.
"Well, since you directly asked I'll be direct too. I came to make a proposal to you".

I sat down quietly. The last time Benny asked me for something, I ended up at the cinema shepherding teenage girls. I realised I had to say something
"Proposal ke.. You know about me and your sister. Besides 16 is too young to be thinking about marriage". She smacked me hard this time while I laughed.

"You know what I mean, oga". She was already feigning offence. Ready to use it as a bargaining chip.
"Well shoot" I shrugged, expecting her to drop the bomb. Benny's feet shuffled on the tiled floor. Slow Yanni music filled the silence.

"OK.. I would like to be riding to school with you. I don't like the bus anymore. My mom is aware of what I'm proposing to you". We were both silent for a about a minute. I pretended to be deep in thought. When she was just about to press me for an answer I burst into laughter.

"Girls and fine cars. Look at you my little opportunistic goldmining friend. Where were you when I was pushing a jalopy CarinaE. I buy a Venza and you want to ride with me". Knowing that she had no response she weakly replied
"Shey you know my mum is your boss?"
"And so? Thank you for the reminder"
"You know, for a 16 year old your heart is particularly kinda dark. Is this what I teach you every Sunday in teens church?"

Benny moved to the settee close to me. "Well honestly uncle spark this proposal is coming from a good place" Children can be manipulative and I was well aware. "Well, good for you. You call it a proposal but I see a request. So what's UP Tell me everything" I dragged the word "up" and raised my left brow.

"Okay, there's this guy who's bugging my friend Zara. People always give her attention because she has big boobs and a huge ass". I interrupted her "so how does this one affect me?"
She continued "Honestly Zara has never felt real straight pure attention. So I think if you pamper us for a week she'll know she's of some value because of her personality not just because of her big boobs and ass". Benny fired on seeing her opportunity.
"I invited her to church but I think that's not enough".

"So what is your own end of the deal? You called it a proposal?" Benny was quite surprised. She shrugged "I don't know, help you pamper us". I gave her a mean side eye, "Nobody is getting pampered, it a school drop off we're talking about. Here's what I think, you'll wash the car every evening. No wash, no ride"

"Hian.. Uncle which one is this one now" she stamped her foot like an entitled toddler. "Do you like your friend or not? I'll call your mom this evening to hear what she thinks, I don't really believe you"
"Uncle, I'm offended",
"That's life. If I pass your gate by 7:30 a day I don't see you forget it. One more thing, don't come up here again until next month when Sandra gets back"

Monday morning met me hurrying more than usual. Picking up Benny and her friend meant I'd make an unnecessary 15 minute detour on my way to work.

I thought if it helped Zara have more self-esteem, then it was a worthy sacrifice. I got to Benny's gate and was greeted by the sight of two smartly dressed school girls. White long-sleeved shirts, smart navy blue skirts and nice shoes. Benny being a person who went the extra mile was wearing a jacket and leggings.

"This girl and her oversabi" I thought. Just then Benny's mum drove out. She paid scarce attention to the girls and flashed me a toothy smile. I thought she'd give any last minute instructions. She did not. She promptly sped off in her black tinted Nissan pathfinder.

Benny and Zara came over. Without asking, Benny hopped into the front seat and wore the seatbelt. "Good morning sir", it was Zara-from outside. I beckoned on her to come in. "Good morning sir" Benny greeted. I knew she was half mimicking Zara. "See me see see finish" I wondered. "Oya go and join your friend at the back".
Benny meekly obeyed without a word. The journey began and in no time we were at Benny's school. It was an upscale school, the type were senators' kids and government kids attended. Very much unlike the kind of school I went to. Here nobody whipped you, they had air-conditioned classrooms and all sorts of luxuries. The day students were fed lunch too. Benny called me a hater when I said the luxury was too much.

As Zara disembarked, I did not observe any special features about her as Benny said. In fact she was very much prepubescent. Benny came over to the front passenger side and said "Come and have a look, it's like your tyre is getting flat". I jumped out to have a look "which tyre?". Benny laughed and said "thank you" and gave me a warm hug.

I couldn't argue with that. I waved them both and rushed to work. I didn't want to get to work late. My boss is a very tough woman. If I didn't know her personally, I'd have concluded like my coworkers that she was a witch. But I knew her well, I was dating her daughter. She was my neighbor and her other daughter was a pestiferous younger sister to me.

I got to my desk just in time. Ms Brown (that's what everyone called Benny's mum at work) came over with a large transparent plastic container. It was the sort of container that had wheels and was handy for storing food at home or sharing drinks at wedding parties. Ms Brown dropped it on the table. "I need these reviewed by Thursday" she said coldly and walked away. If I had not seen her smiling at me this morning at her gate, I would have thought I had done some grievous offense against her over the weekend. But that was Ms Brown, she was cold and very tough at work. Outside work she was altogether different. When I started work fresh, I suspected she was possessed by some malevolent spirit at the beginning of work. I suspected the spirit took leave of her as soon as work closed.

My totally boring day at work had just begun. I couldn't wait for it to end.

The following days and weeks largely took the same form; taking the girls to school and having a pile of files dumped on my desk. A few other days were wild. Like the day I met only Zara waiting for me.
"Where's Benny?" I asked worried. "She's still dressing up, good morning sir". I ran in and pulled her out. She was barefooted and was holding her shoes with one hand and her backpack with the other. All along the way she was pouting and grumbling. Before I dropped them off I asked her if she now preferred the bus. She said no and quietly left without saying goodbye.

There was another day it was I who was late. Benny didn't let me hear word. I shamelessly beat red lights and went beyond speed limits. The two girls were cheering me on until I got to their school gate and pulled to a screeching halt. All eyes were on us. Benny made sure she maximized the attention. She walked out in what appeared like slow motion and bounced into the school. Such a glamour girl.

The term was soon ending and both girls were graduating soon. Our rides brightened my mornings. We talked about every and anything. Zara told me she felt insecure because she was a late bloomer and other students made fun of her for not having boobs. I told her to look on the bright side, she was one of the brainiest people I knew. Zara had the highest Jamb score in the state - 353! Benny on the other hand felt bad because everybody was comparing her to her elder sister Sandra. Sandra was quiet prim and proper, Benny was wild and loved attention. I had to also share something too, I complained to the girls that almost everybody thinks that I got everything because of who my dad is. Some people at work think I got the job because I was dating my boss' daughter.

"Isn't it true?" Benny asked.
"No. I got the job but your mum promoted me because I deserve it. That's a story for another day"
"Ok. Sounds like a boring story anyway" Benny sarcastically said. Her mood changed and she solemnly said "Thank you for creating a safe space for me. Us"
"Enough of the thank yous. Thank you. Before we all start weeping here"
"One question though" Benny again started, "Do you talk about me with my sister?"
"Yeah a lot" I replied
"Do you tell her my secrets?" she pressed
"No"
"Good", Benny nodded and looked away.

"Do you talk about me with my your sister?" I took my turn.
"Yes, all the time" Benny was answering the questions now.
"You don't tell her the secrets I tell you. Do you?" I asked.
"No I don't. Isn't she supposed to know already? Do you keep secrets from..." Benny switched from answering questions and was attempting to start firing questions at me.
"It's not your place to tell her" I said and ended the conversation. Zara sat, quietly smiling at our back and forth with Benny. She hardly spoke but when she did she said something extremely thoughtful or something hilariously stupid that took a long time to think up. Either ways she spent a lot of the time in our school runs quietly smiling.

"Here we are, have a nice day at school"
as I pulled up in front of their ornate school gate.
"Bye uncle spark" Zara said - for the first time.
"Bye bye Uncle Sparkman" Benny said in a sing song voice.

As the term was rounding up and the girls were preparing to graduate, things got a lot more stressful for me. I got involved in this I had no idea I'd ever get involved in- like shooting a dance video, being arm twisted by my boss to chaperone her daughter at all the graduation parties her daughter wanted to attend. Benny being the party animal had like 3 to attend, I being antisocial found them suicidal Anytime I think of the period I sigh. It turned out fun anyway, a pleasant distraction from the joy-sucking work life I had.

August came and with it came my annual leave. My girlfriend Sandra was coming back to the country in the middle of the month she had rounded up her Msc program. I was happy we'd have a lot of time together. Probably visit my parents up north together and stuff like that. Then my twin sister called and things got wild again.

"Hi my sweetheart", It was Mariya. Mariya was my twin sister who loved to announce that she was older than I was. In truth she was, but only with just a few minutes.
"Hi", before I could say another word Mariya delved into a sermon and accused me of not checking on her and her and her family. I was very perplexed because we had spoken not less than 24 hours before she called.
"Family is important. No matter how far you go in life don't forget your family, okay?" she sounded off. Usually Mariya is not the softie. In fact when we were younger it was she who kept bullies off me. It was also she who caused them to try to get back at me in the first place also. "Mariya, I understand. Know that I'll always be here for you". Mariya's husband was with the Airforce and he was in active service in the Northeast. He was a great guy, but I really didn't want my sister to get entangled with him considering his profession. I was scared of her losing him, being such great guy I was also scared of getting close to him and losing him as well.

Mariya told me: It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. The she went to marry him. They even have a daughter together.

I know how difficult it is for families of military men deployed to the northeast. I had just started work as an analyst at the agency when insurgents behead a downed pilot. Heck his decapitation video was the first material I analysed at work. I had to be there all the time for my sister whenever her husband was away. In the five years of their marriage they've lived in Lagos, PH, Abj, Kaduna and Kainji. Her husband is a fighter jet pilot and was also a trainer with the training group at Kainji before he was drafted to the red hot theatre in Borno. Last time I visited them in Kainji I bluntly told her I was not visiting them in that bush again until they relocated.

"I will be travelling to the UK for two weeks" Mariya brought me back from my lengthy digression "... and I wont be going with Ann". My eyes popped out, I knew something was fishy with the way Mariya was acting. I had even thought she was pregnant. With this new info I could guess what she wanted from me. "You want me to take Ann to mum and dad right?". Mariya laughed "No. If they leave you you'll say you have figured me out. See this guy. What I have in mind is better. I want her to stay with you for the 2 weeks. Thank you".

"I beg your pardon?" I didn't know when I started speaking English
"Granted, love. Your niece Ann is coming over next week. Make your place child friendly" she said with a fake accent.
"I hate you, Mariya. I will give you an answer about this tomorrow", that was the worst I could do. It was impossible for me to turn down Mariya, I knew she'd do same too. Whatever she wanted to do in London must be important.

"Good night lil bro". A wave of annoyance washed over me. I love my niece a lot, she's nearly an angel. A day or two with her is cool. Two weeks is torture.

I still had to try and see if I could get myself out of babysitting 5 year old Ann for 2 weeks. A light bulb lit in my head.

A week before Mariya's arrival I took my phone and composed a whatsapp message which I sent my mum. It read thus:


AUGUST HOLIDAY
CARELESS PARENTS.

WHY DO YOU SEND THAT LITTLE FEMALE CHILD TO SPEND HOLIDAY WITH THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE?
-FRIENDS
-COUSINS
-BROTHER.
-SISTERS.
-UNCLES.
-NEIGHBOURS
-PASTOR
-ALFA
-SOME EVEN SENT THEM TO BOARDING SCHOOLS AND ETC?

IF YOU KNOW YOU CANT TRAIN AND WATCH A FEMALE CHILD GROW UNDER YOUR ROOF TILL 2O YRS AND ABOVE,..

WHY THEN DO YOU GIVE BIRTH TO THEM?

IT IS BEST TO RAISE YOUR CHILDREN ACCORDING TO YOUR STANDARDS. DO NOT SHIRK OFF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES TO YOUR RELATIONS. YOUR CHILDREN CAN EASILY LEARN BAD HABITS LIKE LAZINESS, TOO MUCH TELEVISION, DULLNESS, GLUTTONY. MOREOVER, THE CASES OF ABUSE IS GETTING HIGH. KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE.

I hit send and waited for response.

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