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Funny Biblical Joke ~pastoresuteafail by Nobody: 1:22am On Jul 19, 2019
An angry mob brings a woman who had been caught in adultery to the local town square, where Jesus was offloading his sermon to the town square crowd.
Mob Spokesman (Serial Womanizer): Teacher, this woman was caught pants down, cheating on her husband o!
Barr. Taiwo: (Corrupt Judge): According to Code of Conduct Law: Page 26, Paragraph 5; Subsection 2, any married woman caught red-handed in the act MUST be stoned to death!
Angry Mob: Yes!!! (Background murmurings)
Uchenna (Pickpocket): Oga, this woman must die o! Say something o! (Hand gestures)
Jesus: (shakes head and stoops to write on the ground)
Cyprian (Chronic Lair): Oga, if you don't say anything, we will proceed to stone the shit out of this woman o!
Angry Mob: (Loud indistinct chatter and murmurings)
Jesus: (Straightens up) He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. (Stoops back down to write on the ground)
Jesse (Pedophile): Mtcheww! Oga, shift o. Make this stone no touch you. (Hurls stone at her)
Kehinde (Wife beater and Cocaine addict): This man think say we come here come play! (Hurls two heavy stones at her)
Adulterous Woman: Ah! That one enter o! (Screams)
Jesus: (shocked) My Father, My Father!! Stop this madness, you fools! Who has bewitched you all!?
Angry Mob: (keeps calm and stares in utter confusion)
Jesus: (Angry) Are you all so blind to see through your stupidity and self-deceit? Most of you standing right here, engage yourselves in much more grievous sins than this woman has and ever will! Oh, you self-righteous morons think I don't know? Oya, you! (Points) Yes, you! Come forward.
Julius (Rich Aristo): (clears voice) Erm... Teacher, here I am.
Jesus: There is a number saved on your phone as "Esther Doggie." Who is she? Please, tell us.
Julius: (shaky voice) Ah! Teacher, how did you...? Well, she's a veterinary doctor. She tends to my dogs.
Bridget (Julius' Loyal Wife): (shouts) Liar! (Angry mob turns in awe and parts for her to walk through) Teacher, we have no dogs o! (Turns to husband and claps hands dramatically) Yes o, who is "Esther Doggie?" Please, tell us!
Jesus: (chuckles) You heard your wife.
Julius: (nervous tone) Honey, I can explain.
Bridget: I knew it! I just... (Breaks down in tears and makes to leave)
Julius: Honey... Baby, wait! (Drops stones and chases after her)
Jesus: That was example number 1. Now, I repeat, he who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. (Stoops down to write on the ground)
Angry mob: (looks at each other, nervously. Drop stones and exit the town square, one after the other).
Jesus: (straightens up) Woman, where are they? No one else condemned you?
Adulterous Woman: (crying) No one, Lord.
Jesus: I do not condemn you either. Go and sin no more.
(Woman departs and Jesus continues his interrupted sermon to the town square crowd

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Re: Funny Biblical Joke ~pastoresuteafail by Pastorg01(m): 2:51pm On Jul 19, 2019
God bless you
Re: Funny Biblical Joke ~pastoresuteafail by Pastorg01(m): 2:52pm On Jul 19, 2019
God bless you

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