How difficult is it to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses even though people see the increasing inconsistencies with their own eyes everyday?

Mark Jones, Writer, Psychologist, Former Theist, Now Atheist
Answered May 27, 2019 in Quora.com

Answering this question both as a former Jehovah’s Witness and also as a psychologist.

There are a number of things going on at the same time which keeps the person loyal to the cult even though to everybody else on the outside it’s glaringly obvious that something is wrong.

The first is cognitive dissonance

The problem of ones beliefs conflicting with what does or experiences. In the Jehovah’s Witness mindset cognitive dissonance is rampant. One example is seen in the shunning of former members. Because shunning your own parent(s) or even children for simply leaving the religion is obviously unnatural the person has to do something to settle the conflict (or dissonance) going on in their head.

They can either:

1. Accept that shunning their parent(s) or children is not right - which would mean the religion is actually doing something wrong.

2. Justify the shunning by bringing up mistakes the person made in the past or times when the person has done something to upset you.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaUhR-tRkHY

Because to actually accept that the religion is wrong would open a whole new can of worms, namely the second mental process…

Personal investment

The members have invested a lot into the religion mentally and by sacrificing their time, energy, potential and even money.

Imagine my mothers situation. Indoctrinated at age 15, now at age 61 she’s devoted 46 years to the religion. She put off having a career, disowned non-JW members of her family, gave up any hobbies she had and devoted her entire life to the religion. For her to leave now would mean acknowledging that she’s wasted 46 years of her life. In that circumstance (which is very common) the mind will again justify and find reasons to believe despite the glaring inconsistency and clear ethical violations the religion practices.

Another reason is that for the members who’ve devoted many years, they will actually say (even here on Quora) “where else would we go?” or “who else should we go away to?” - the very idea of not belonging to an organization and being told what to think is frightening to them.

I saw inconsistencies when I was a member. But at the time you brush them off with trained thought stopping phrases such as “wait on Jehovah” - meaning ignore it and Jehovah will correct it… eventually. Or “this is the closest thing there is to the truth” - which now just sounds stupid. Another one is “even if this isnt the truth isnt it a lovely place to be?”. Since I woke up and left the leaders have thought of another one “no organization is perfect, but this is the best imperfect organization on earth”.

Seeing the inconsistencies is one thing, acknowledging them is another but actually taking action and leaving is rather rare. You see, the final thing to be aware of is…

The threat

If you leave you lose your family.

All Jehovah’s Witnesses are commanded to shun you. Literally pretend that you’re invisible. Parents shun their own children. Children shun their parents. Brothers and sisters shun each other. Lifelong friendship are ended instantly, all due to an announcement from the platform by an elder that “so-and-so is not longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses”. Hundreds of thousands (perhaps millions) of families are destroyed simply by leaving the religion.

Listen to how this girl talks about her sister who left the religion:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YzGNfDa8kI&t=2s
My mother tells people that I died. There are no photos of me, not even baby photos. Rather than tell people that I simply left the religion she tells people I died in a car accident.