Your direct tantrum says a lot bout how opposed to differing opinions you are. Before you dish out your cruel wordings u term advise, put yourself in the op's shoes. N next time , come up with a more hip word than vamoose. U realise this is 2019, right?

LordKO:



Your indirect tantrum says a lot about how parochial you're mentally. As a typical bumpkin (you're), I don't expect you to know that there's a distinction between a sociopath and a psychopath, and I'm not surprised that you can't discern and extrapolate thoughts and submissions.

Vamoose and direct your further tantrum to your ilk, either directly or indirectly.

OP please gradually warm up to them but withdraw if they show any shadow of turning from the original impression they offered.
Sincerely it hurts me when parents hide activities from their children. Imagine how a father cannot tell his grown up children he's planning to remarry! That era should be done with please.
I've found myself explaining things my own Dad did and hid from us, this things I'm now explaining to his grandchildren!!
Keeping distance and actions from your children breeds distrust and insincerity and psychological and emotional bankruptcy

thorpido:
You labelled the Op as a sociopath.I don't know where you got that from.
There's nothing in my write-up to indicate that.
The interpretation and conclusion is simply yours.

I am sorry, it was a mistake. LordKO was the one I should have quoted.

Gloriagee:
Your direct tantrum says a lot bout how opposed to differing opinions you are. Before you dish out your cruel wordings u term advise, put yourself in the op's shoes. N next time , come up with a more hip word than vamoose. U realise this is 2019, right?

Make I pity you, lol. Actually, "differing opinion" is different from derision, you should know this - it's a case of being tolerant vs being subjugable. Anyway, the OP should understand that I've no intention to hurt her or compound her woes. I offered my honest opinions in good faith and for her own good. Meanwhile, as you no come like vamoose, I no go tell you to . . . in its stead, as I still de pity you.

Who ur pity epp na?

LordKO:



Make I pity you, lol. Actually, "differing opinion" is different from derision, you should know this - it's a case of being tolerant vs being subjugable. Anyway, the OP should understand that I've no intention to hurt her or compound her woes. I offered my honest opinions in good faith and for her own good. Meanwhile, as you no come like vamoose, I no go tell you to . . . in its stead, as I still de pity you.

LOL, I agree. Real Psychologists out there examine other factors behind an individual's actions before giving any diagnosis, but NL's pseudo, wannabe psychologists are quick to throw labels, hiding their lack of knowledge behind non-communicative, empty jargons. Idk why anyone would call OP a sociopath and psychopath. Most socio and psychopaths have no concern about their character flaws, are both very deceitful and manipulative towards others and I don't think that's the case with the OP.

Gloriagee:
Internet psychologist plenty for here. Now assuming shes was really a sociopath, will she be sensitive enough to realize her actions could be hurting another ie the stepmother.

Isha327:
Hi people.
I really need serious advice. My dad just married someone else since my mum passed away 7 years ago. My late mum only had two girls for my dad, am the last and my sis is married.. Am currently doing my national diploma and awaiting final exams but I had to come home due to strike
..on getting home I met this woman tho I have met her before when I also came home for holiday but she only stayed for few hours and left so I didn't ask my dad questions. But this time around she came to stay finally..
I called my dad since he is at work and he told me she is his new wife and he didn't know how to tell me before.. But the problem is am an introvert and I hardly talk to people I don't know, the woman is nice but I don't feel comfortable around people have not been with for long...I always lock myself up so as not to see her whenever she is around. The only people I feel comfortable around are my dad , sister and some long term friends...she thought I hate her but I don't. And worst is she doesn't know how to cook .her food is either too salty or burnt..I always give my dad excuses not to eat her food and my dad doesn't complain about the food since he can eat anything.
But recently her daughter (she has one child before)came to live with us and I feel more uncomfortable... She is so lousy and use my things without permission and this makes me angry tho am older than her..I don't look happy most times and my dad thinks she is maltreating me but its cuz am not free around the house and I can't do whatever I want anymore. I hardly talk when she is around but she tries to talk to me and make jokes but I always flee..I told my sis and friend about it and they said I have a problem...am going back to school soon to write my final exams and am coming back home finally...
I don't want to live like this and I don't want to push her away cuz she is really nice and she helps me financially whenever my dad isn't around.. I feel irritated and uncomfortable especially with her daughter but I want my dad to be happy cuz he need someone to take care of him... Pls advice me on how to warm up to her..thanks

Am glad that you did not pick any fault from this woman

The problem is you and your anti social life, introverts are not even happier with themselves

Just change your perception and mindset

Assuming you got a Jon where you need a team work approach, how will you go about it ❓

Will you be the problem the team is working or will you resign just because you are more complacent with just your dad and sister ❓

Then for her daughter, sit her down and let her know that she should take your permission before touching your things, in a very polite manner

She is seeing you as her senior sister, so you must relate with her

As for your step mum, go close to her and let her know how you are feeling

She already knows how you are behaving and she is giving you time to finish showing her who you are before she will conclude on you

If you know that you can't cope, relocate to your sister

As for your dad, he is very complacent with his wife, even if she doesn't cook well and avoid being the one that will cause problems for them

in as much as your step mother is not maltreating you, you've got no issues..all you have to do is to caution her daughter about using you things and if she prove adamant you can report her to your dad...

jaszplus12:
OP please gradually warm up to them but withdraw if they show any shadow of turning from the original impression they offered.
Sincerely it hurts me when parents hide activities from their children. Imagine how a father cannot tell his grown up children he's planning to remarry! That era should be done with please.
I've found myself explaining things my own Dad did and hid from us, this things I'm now explaining to his grandchildren!!
Keeping distance and actions from your children breeds distrust and insincerity and psychological and emotional bankruptcy

not every father have The courage to tell their children especially females they have someone they are dating elsewhere

spongeisback:
Op is an introvert but when it comes to the money she becomes an extrovert.

hahahahahha my chest o .. I was wondering o.

tunjilee003:
not every father have The courage to tell their children especially females they have someone they are dating elsewhere

You're right Bro. But I think it all boils down to developing confidence between parent and child. If you have already been close to your children you won't find it hard to tell them lots of things...and they will in turn confide in you. Imagine his daughter not telling him about a man she's dating just because she's scared to...how will he advice her if she needs it...that means she'll go to friends!

The best way to go around this is to call ur dad,
Schedule a date for a get-together, probably a Saturday evening at a leisure spot such as an eatery.
Break from your she'll that day and ask both of them how their relationship started,
Then do a kind of "women talk" with ur MIL and ask about upbringing.
Chip in that u are an introvert so she know what to expect.
Xchange numbers and chat to say hello.
As u grow older, the bond between the two of us we will solidfy.
Cheers
Nb.
Always respect her and her decisions.

What i sense though you didn't mention is territorial superiority. No.matter how we understand humans are territorial. That terrory has been yours since your mother passng another woman won't be easily welcome even though your honest intention is to see your dad happy.

One for the time being will have to submit By way of tradition sha. It's the one entering the house that is suppose to do it. And from your anaysis she has being doing it. If you cannot not receive her well. Try going through her child. Ignore her excess and find playfully natural bound. It will warm her heart and that of your father to see you two getting along.

LordKO:
Your introverted nature isn't the main cause of your obvious intolerance towards your stepmother in particular and her daughter (your stepsister) in general. Your sociopathic nature is. If you can strive and conquer the negative attributes that made you a sociopathic person - they negative attributes are so glaring from your message - you'll automatically begin to rapport with them, regardless of your introversion. Most introverts are either sociopathic or psychopathic people, but they hardly know or acknowledge this bitter truth.

This is an interesting perspective. Care to shed more light on the introvert-sociopathic angle?

@OP You've gotten a lot of good advice already. Just try to tolerate and be friendly towards your step mum's daughter and gradually warm up to your step-mum as well. Goodluck